!

34 - Sunday, May 6, 1990 - North Shore News

Handie family
feud impeccably

DEAR MISS MANNERS — My family has been in a
vicious legaf battle for five years — Mom on one side, Dad
on the other. Dad wants to give the company he built to his
oldest son. Mom wants to see the company shared evenly by
all four children, since it was her money that made the ini-

tial investment in the company.

The iegal battle bas been enor-
mously expensive, in both personal
and financial terms. Dad won't
compromise in accordance with
mediators we have hired, and the
eldest son is set on having the suc-
cessful company for himself.

miss
manners

Judith Martin

Is it proper to continue to give
Dad parties and presents for his
birthday and Christmas and an-
niversaries, or would this be hypo-
critical? Dad is a busivessman who
has devoted his life to his company
and never participated in the lives
of his wife or childven.

What would you do — act as if
there’s no fight, or give him the
silent treatment?

GENTLE READER — It is
Miss Manners’ soft-hearted in-
stinct to try to repair all family
feuds, even though she knows that
the effort is often futile. Never-
theless, there is a satisfaction in
knowing that one has behaved im-
peccably and done ail one can.

If that does not provide enough
incentive, allow Miss Manners to
put another consideration to you:

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Presumably you are one of the

three younger children whom your §

father does not wish to trust with
the family business. Cutting off
family courtesies will give him the
satisfaction of believing that you
were ingrates, anyway. Treating
him with respect and kindness will,
at the least, give him a twinge
about not reciprocating.

DEAR MISS MANNERS — I
am a cashier in a supermarket.

A customer will come up to the
register and say, “I'll bet you were
just waiting for me”’ or “T only
came in for one item.” I have
heard these lines so many times ¥
could choke.

I try to be polite and say, ‘If [
had a dime for every time I've
heard that line, I'd be a rich
woman."’ J even get tired of hear-
ing myself say that. What can I sry
to encourage people to think that
cashiers enjoy good conversation?

GENTLE READER — You
don’t happen to be one of those
who has come up to Miss Manners
in her line of work and said, ‘‘I’d
better watch my manners in front
of you,”’ are you?

If you are, you will have noticed
that Miss Manners neither choked
nor snapped back with an equally
common line. Let that be an ex-
ample to you.

if you are the Noel Coward of
the checkout line, perhaps you
could treat the customers to short
(but kind) witticisms as they go by.

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