A8 - Friday, August 3, 1984 - North Shore News HE TIME has come to apologize to Cor- poral Kibble, for what we did to him has been on my conscience for a long time. Why Kibble has been on my mind so much I! canot say. Perhaps it’s because | saw.a chap in North Van who looked & bit like him. But he wasn’t my Kibble because my Kibble is in Vaihaltla. But | know he’s watching me, and saying: **Just wait till you get up here, Collins you bastard, and [ll have your ass.”’ What I am about to relate happened long ago. We were innocent teen-aged recruits in the Army, and Kibble was our squad corporal and a veteran of many years who had fought on the legendary North West Indian Frontier. He was right out of Kipling, and would probably have been arrested had he lived in the more precious days of human rights fanatics, etc. For when he talked about the inhabitants of India he called them ‘‘wogs.’’ However, he looked a bit like one himself, his face having been burnt to the color of an old walnut in the service of Country. Kibble’s most distinguishing feature, though, was a magnificent spiked mustache that extend- ed several inches on either side. It was waxed with King and 4 tender loving care, and serv- ed us as a kind of radar, because when Kibble was displeased. which he was get this sht strai Doug Collins eS most of the time, the mustache would twitch. So one had time to brace oneself for a verbal attack that took place at atop decibel rate and about half an inch from the e day Kibble got clip victim’s nose. What it was that brought on Kibble’s great rage on that particular day I don’t remember. No doubt we were more hopeless than usual. Or it could have been the day that Private Miles nearly speared Kibble with his bayonet during rifle drill. For the potato-faced Miles was a country lad who was good at ploughing but not much good at drilling. When his right arm moved forward, for in- stance, so did his right leg, and a frantic Kibble would follow Miles around the parade ground, trying to sort him out, which he never did. Thus it came to pass that Miles, trying to untangle himself, brought up _ his weapon and just missed Kib- ble’s throat, whereupon the squad collapsed in mirth. Whatever the cause of Kib- ble’s rage, his bright blue eyes bulged mightily and he confined the lot of us to bar- racks for the weekend. He, meanwhile, having developed a permanent thirst on the Khyber Pass, took off that evening for the Corporal’s Mess, there to receive the commiserations of his fellow tyrants. It was then that your agent had the brillant idea of cut- ting off Kibble’s mustache. For Kibble snorted his way } e d B as 1 through the night in the cor- ner bed of the barrack room. And in due course he stag- gered in, cuSsing, and collapsed. Kibble could be dangerous, even when sleeping, and Col- lins approached the bed as he would a minefield. First, the mustache bag was removed, an operation that was not helped by trembling fingers. Then one spike of the mustache was clipped off, Kibble stirred, and your man retreated in terror. In the morning, 20 pairs of eyes watched while our friend for groped the missing mustache bag prior to strok- ing his beloved creation. Befuddled as he wag, it took him about a minute to realize that something was wrong. When he did, there was an awful cry, and he flew up from the bed in an act of levitation that no Indian fakir could have bettered. That morning he had to shave the whole thing off, of course, and go around look- ing naked. In the fullness of time we were sent off to fight the Ger- mans. All except Miles, that is, who was too dangerous to his own side. But the Ger- mans were a real relief to us after Kibble. | heard later that he died fighting wogs in Burma. Hi mailbox Congratulations Dear Editor: Congratulations for the ‘best all-round community newspaper in its class in Canada’ award! Please relay my _ con- gratulations (o all at the News * Noel Wright - Editor- in-Chief, News Editor - Mark Hamilton, staff photo- grapher - Stuart Davis, head photographer - Terry Peters, Dave Jenneson historical This is an Dear Editor. This is an election? The media has been con- centrating on pats on bums. The election issues are the story interviewer, Associate Publisher - Bob Graham and Tim Francis - advertising director. The News is indeed for- tunate in having so many fine award-winning people on staff. Your Newspaper can be proud of its achievements! Best regards to all. John Reynolds, M.L.A., . West Vancouver-Howe Sound election? aud economy, leadership. Perhaps the media should face the public. M.M. Blackburn North Vancouver peace Thanks to the North Shore Dear Editor: The North Shore Associa- tion for the Mentally Han- dicapped has recently com- pleted its fourth annual door to door fund raising drive. The good people from Deep Cove to Lions Bay who con- tributed nearly $65,000 can be assured that this moncy will be used here on the North Shore to provide the support needed to encourage and assist mentally handicap- ped persons in becoming useful and independent members of our community. We send our sincere thanks to those who contributed and The Shoppe eMIX.A CASE DIET eMIXERS eFLAVOURS (30 0z) 850 mis PLUS DEPOSIT 27¢ (10 oz) 300 mis PLUS DEPOSIT The price is the only difference WESTVIEW ESSO CAPILANO SHELL MOUNTAIN HWY. & 27th ESSO WESTVIEW SHOPPING CENTRE 1731 CAPILANO RD. 2747 MOUNTAIN HWY. & 27th 988-1918 W. VANC. 988.7016 R. VANC. 980-6333 to those who gave their time, . 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