Before the wedding

QUESTION: I have the
spooky feeling that I am
under another person's con-
trol. I don't really think he
WANTS to control me, but
once in a while I have the
niggling fear that maybe
that's exactly what he wants
to do. He doesn’t control me
in the sense of influencing
me to do things I don’t want
to do, and yet, I am aware of
my hyped up desire to do
and be whatever he seems to
want of me.

I am 24, employed,
healthy, living in my own
apartment most of the time
and at his some of the time.
He is 42, doing exceptionally
well in business, divorced (3
years) and has a wonderfully
charismatic personality. I
feel over-powered by him
most of the time, although,
once in a while I stand up for
myself by deliberately doing
something I know he doesn't
want me to do, even ff I have
to do something that would
ordinarily be against my
chosen way. Such a “show of
strength” always makes me
feel guilry though. I don’t
feel I have made any points
by acting out of character
just to prove I can go against
what seems to me to be his
will for me.

These ‘Kids’ have to make mistakes

What do you think are the

chances of this sort of dilem-
ma working itself out if we
were married?
STEWART: Dilemmas don't
work themselves out, in mar-
riage or out of it. You'll need
to “work out” your own
dilemma and the chances of
your doing it well, before
your marriage are much
greater than the chances of
your doing it well after you
are married.

The reason you “feel guil-
ty” about performing “out of
character” is a healthy sign.
Putting on an act is usually
accompanied by feelings of
guilt, simply because you
know you are bing phony.
Moreover, in your case,
your phoniness assures you
that he is in control of you
because you are doing some-
thing against your own will
to prove something to HIM.
You know you are not doing
it to contribute to your own
development and integrity,
but to score some unearned
points.

It may be that you, mis-
takenly, are feeling inferior
to him because of his busi-
ness success, his “excep-
tionally charismatic per-
sonality,” and, most of all, to
his years of experience
which add up to 18 more

years than you have had.
Such feelings need not be
continued in you and I sug-
gest you get some counsel-
ling help in finding more of
your own resources. They
will enhance the possibilities
of your expanding your own
sense of worth. Go for it!

What do you think?

QUESTION: Would you
mind giving us your honest,

personal opinion of
astrology?
STEWART: Yes.

I mean yes I would mind. I
also would mind giving you
my “opinion” of micro-
biology, Bloody Marys,
catholicism, riding horses,
miracles, Krazy-Glue and,
of course, reincarnation.

Why? I mean why do I
mind giving my opinions?
Three reasons spring to
mind, first because I don’t
like putting people in a space
where by agreeing or
disagreeing with my opi-
nions, their own choice is in-
fluenced.

Second: Because I know
too littke about astrology and
the rest of the list (and a
thousand other lists) to be
thought of as capable of be-

ut an overpow

° . - North Shore News
ering fiance
ask hayden stewart

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242
for appointments for individual. family or group counselling

THE CORPORATION OF THE
DISTRICT OF NORTH VANCOUVER

BYLAW 5627

HIGHWAY RELOCATION
BYLAW 63

ing opinionated about any of
them.

Third: If 1 HAVE an opi-
nion about “any of the
above” I want to be free to
change it within an hour or a

week or ten years. (Gallant Ave.)
Fourth: Opinions are
dumb.

TAKE NOTICE THAT pursuant to section 574 of the
Municipal Act, the Cauncil for The Corporation of
the District of North Vancouver intends by Bylaw
5627 to dispose of a certain portion of highway in
District Lot 626 in exchange for land mentioned in

the said bylaw for the purpose of relocating such
highway. .

Crazy,eh?

QUESTION: Are you wor-
ried at all about a society 7
that turns out in thousands to
see a BATHTUB RACE? I
mean, after all!

STEWART: No, I'm not
worried about that. Wat-
ching is not compulsory you
know. And isn’t it great that
there are so many crazy peo-
ple around who perhaps are
more crazy than you are?
How did you enjoy the spec-
tacle?

Bylaw 5627 and plans of the proposed highway re-
location may be inspected at the Municipal Hall
during regular office hours.

(Mrs.) H.W. Egleston,
Municipal Clerk

DATED this 3rd day of August, 1983
North Vancouver, B.C...

RESIDENTIAL LOTS
NORTH SHORE

TWENTY-TWO (22) serviced residential

QUESTION: [m trying to lots are offered for sale by public tender in the

you had not allowed them to
help my kids grow up. But

You knew ali that before
do that, they would never

trusted that “little voice” you

you wrote your letter didn’t say you have inside you, you areas of:
my husband and my sister have learned to walk. you? Just think, if you'd only could have saved 32¢.
and ses tariale oa Jiedie wice BADGER ROAD, LOCKEHAVEN PLACE,
. ell me
that I am erying too hard. AND SUMMERSIDE LANE IN DEEP COVE.

My husband calls me over-
protective. My sister calls
me bossy. I call myself con-
cerned and caring and
scared. Kis these days have
an awful lot of stuff swirling
around them that is very
hard for them to handle. 'm
so scared they'll run into
something that will hurt
them. What's wrong with me
trying to save them that
hurt? They keep saying to
me, “Mom, why won't you
PLEASE let me run my own
life?” Pm TRYING to let
them run thelr own lives, but
quite often they are not very

The closing time for sealed bids will be

C U ST O ii D R A Pp ER Y { 3 se. a:m. on Thursday, September 8th,
7 IN STOCK CLEARANCE OFFER
SAVE UP TO

5 0 Of, om seiecrep

GIVE US A CALL TODAY

FOR AN IN-HOME CONSULTATION
NO CHARGE, NO OBLIGATION AND YOUR
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED

Also, a few lots on Oriohma Place, Bishop
Place, Clegg Place and Brockton Crescent are
still available for purchase priced at $60,000 to
$67,000.

For further information and brochures, contact
the Land Department, The Corporation of the
District of North Vancouver, 355 West Queens
Road, North Vancouver, B.C. V7N 2K8.

Telephone 987-7131

smart about it! What's
against me helping a bit?
THE CORPORATION OF THE
STEWART: How old Fan SUMMER IN-STOCK DISTRICT OF NORTH VANCOUVER
ese ids asked a

CLEARANCE OF

UPHOLSTERY

counselling client that ques-
tion about six months ago
and she answered, “24 and
27"! Several years ago I had
a chent tell me (at age 42)
that whenever she buys
herself clothes, she still can
“feel” and almost sec and
hear her mother telling her
what's ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ for
her to wear.

At what age do you plan to
back off a bit? If your hus.
band and sister and your tn
ner personal centre all tell
you the same thing about
yourself it might be smart to
give a listen. Right?

Remember when your
kids were first learning to
walk? Once in a while you'd
reach out for them to save
them from = cracking their
noses when they were falling
into a chair or getting too
close to the heater But.
more often than not, you
wiscly, (even though you
were scared) let them learn
to do their own falling and
their awn getting up Good
thing you did because
pediatricians tcll us that of

PUBLIC NOTICE
LIST OF ELECTORS

TAKE NOTICE that registration tor the 1983
Municipal! List of Electors closes at 500 pm on
Wednesday, August 31st, 1983

FABRICS

Resident Electors
The qualifications tor registration are

(1) 19 years of age or older

(2) Canadian citizen or British Subject

(3) Resident of Canada tor past 12 months

(4) Resident of British Cotumbia for past 6
months, and

(5) Resident of the District of North
Vancouver for past 3 months

AT SAVINGS OF UP TO

50” off

HAVE THAT SPECIAL

CHAIR or SOFA REUPHOLSTERED

NOW. YOUR OLD

FURNITURE MADE TO LOOK LIKE

NEW AGAIN! ALL WORKMANSHIP GUARANTEED.

Non-resident Electors or Tenants in Occupation

Persons who quality with the above requirements,
except for rasidence in the Oistrict of North
Vancouver. and who own land or are tenants in
occupation in the District of North Vancouver are
entitled to register as electors

Mon. - Fri. 3:00-8 30 To register, or to confirm that your name ts already
Ser 10:00:35: on the lst. please contact the REGISTRAR «Ft

‘ ELECTORS at 987 7131 tocal 258
3050 Mountain Highway

North Vancouver

August 10th, 1983 (Mrs )HE Egleston
988-1525, 988-1220

Established 16 years Municipal Clerk