Building families

Adopted grandchildren

NOT WANTING their children to be robbed of
the pleasure of growing up with grandparents,
Anne and Alex Downy turned to Volunteer
Grandparents, a North Vancouver society that
matches grandparents with prospective families.

“It’s just been terrific,’
Anne Dewny says of the
almost one year relationship
her husband and two
children have experienced
with Eileen and Donald

Shockley. ‘‘The children
took to them from the start,
there was an immediate
bond.”’

And Downy says she and
her husband took to the

By BARRETTFISHER | FISHER j

Shockley’s right away as
well. **Eileen and t are both
real talkers — we both have
to fight to get a word in
edgewise. And they are an
active couple as we are, so
we like to get out and do
things.’”.

With both of Alex's
parents dead, and Anne only

having a father Ieft in On-
tario, the Downys are a
perfect example of the type
of coupie who would benefit
from the Volunteer Grand-
parent program.

“My mom died when I
was two weeks pregnant with
my first child,’’ Downy says.
“It was a real dark cloud
over my pregnancy. That's
the time when you get really
close and have a chance to

NEWS photo Stuart Davis

VOLUNTEER grandparents Don and Eileen Shockley enjoy their ‘adopted’ grandchildren Andrew and Devon Downie.

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37 - Wednesday. February 27, 198

Squirming
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PAGE 38

‘Hey, I
went

say tG your mom,
know what you
through."'

For Downy, the Shockleys
are just like her own family,
And the Shockleys feel the
same way.

Says Eileen Shockley:
“When we met the children
we hit it off like a house on
fire, and their parents treat
us fike their own parents.”

With their own family and
grandchildren living in Pen-
ticton and Lethbridge, the
Shockleys, both in their 40s,
decided after seeing a notice
at West Vancouver Seniors’
Centre they would volunteer
to be surrogate grand-
parents,

“We take the children to
Stanley Park or Maplewood
Farm or to our place for
dinner.”’

Carol Harris, coordinator
for Volunteer Grandparents
which locates out of
Capilano Community Ser-
vices in North Van, says the
society is trying to make the
community more aware of
the enriching service.

“We need families who
need grandparents, and
grandparents who need fam-
ities," she says. ‘‘We’re en-
couraging people to come
and see us. Then we inter-
view the parents and grand-
parents to make sure there is
some basis for the relation-
ship, so they have common
interests and backgrounds.

“It’s not a dabysitting
service,’ Harris emphasizes,
“It’s strictly a support,

Good
rates

although the grandparents
do take them on outings.
But it should be free and
easy, just like having real
grandparents."*

Harris says a couple who
decides to become grand-
parents must like children
and must be prepared for a
long-terin commitment.

After the relationship has
been formed, a social worker
checks with both the grand-
parents and the family on a
monthly basis for the first
six months.

Downy says when she and
Alex first applied for grand-
parents they thought they
would meet 2 couple within
a few months, but it was
over 1% years later that they
were matched with the
Shockleys.

“I know I was frustrated
waiting.”” she says. “You
hear about older people who
are lonely, but if only they
knew there are so many
young couples out there who
would give their eye teeth to
have grandparents for their
children.”’

For interested parents and
grandparents, drop-in in-
formation seminars will be
held the first Thursday in
every month at Capilano
Community Services at
Delbrook Community Cen-
tre, 600 West Queens, North
Vancouver, or the last Tues-
day in every month at the
West Vancouver Seniors’
Activity Centre, 695 21st St.,
West Vancouver. Or call
988-7115, or 926-4375.

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