Keeping y

From page 33

ing. It seems that the car in front of
him stopped suddenly.

Again, why dacs this come as a
surprise? People stop suddenly all
over the world, and while it’s often
unsafe, it’s totally predictable. This
is why we have something called a
“safe following distance” and why
some of the most common traffic
tickets police hand out are for “fol-

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lowing too close.”

Then there’s the common dirge
from drivers who use the Upper
Levels Highway on rainy days. Big
huge puddles, right? Sometimes a
veritable river flowing across the
roadway. Gosh daninit, the Ministry
of Transportation and Highways
should do something about
drainage so we collective Wet
Coasters stop slip-sliding all over the
place.

Here’s a tip: memorize the exact
spots on the highway where tlood-
ing occurs so the next time vou
enter those areas you can say to
vourself "Oh yeah, hazardous road
ahead, P’d better slow down.”

While Mother Nature is unpre-
dictable, the laws of physics are not:
Warer plus gravity equals litte
streams and big rivers.

Finally, a quick list of some of
the most common driver bitches

that are laughable because they are
so very predictable:

“That bus just pulled out in
front of me.” (News flash: That's
their job; that’s what they do.)

“That guy just cut me off”
(Couldn't have happened, mankind
is altruistic and chivalrous by
nature.)

“There are always driving, school
cars in my acighbarhood!”
(Geagrapher’s note: There’s a
Motor Vehicle Licensing office near-
by.;

“The light suddenly changed!”
(Suddenly? What else does one

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expect from a traffic light?)

“{ got another speeding ticket?”
(Duh. We'll leave it at thaz.)

Anyway, it’s all just cause and
effect, folks. I thought thar writing
a driving tips column for the fast
three vears would have changed the
fact that therg a tonne of boneheads
out there, but it hasn't.

These days I tend to follow
comedian Bobcat Goldrhwait’s ver-
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help people to become better dri-
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create more road space for me.

Don’t te safe.

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