SM. Wednesday, January 27, 1984 North Shore News LIST TECHNIQUE WORKS on’t be ashamed of asking doctor Q. RECENTLY some women were talking about ‘hooded * and I had never heard of this condition. ctitoris,‘ Since ihen I have wondered if | have it, and if that js why I take so Hittle interest in sex. Is hooded clitoris something that would show up during a couline pelvic examination? | would like to ask my doctor, but even though she is a woman J am ashuined fo. I am 37 and should know more than I do about my own body, How can i find out? Dr. Ruth Dr. Ruth Westheimer A. A hood goes with a clitoris the way an eyebrow goes with an eye, a nail with a finger, etc. I would not call ‘‘hooded clitoris’ a condition, the way your friends do, although they may have been talking about a case where the hood interferred with clitoral sensa- tions. - But 1 am not a medical doctor and you should definitely get this information about yourself from a gynecologist. I think it is likely that in a routine pelvic exam nothing would indicate impaired sensitivity. The patient would have to ask the doc- tor some question about that. The questions that patients ask are of importance to doctors. When a patient is shy about ask- ing the doctor questions, as you are, problems almost certainly arise from that. ] say, never mind that you are 37. Ask the question — that is what the doctor is for, to answer the questions of non-medical people. If you have a doctor you can’t ask questions of, that is the wrong’ doctor for you — find another. If you think you feel awkward asking questions of any doctor, | would use the list technique. Be- fore visiting the doctor, make up a written or typed list of questions. This can be handed to the doctor when you go see her. That prevents your leaving out a question about sexual matters out of shyness. Or leaving it to the last minute, after you have stood up and have a hand on the doorknob, and have to say, ‘‘Oh, by the --way...”” Your particular question, since it is about sexual functioning as well as about your physical makeup, might best be put to a gynecologist who is also a sex therapist. If you want to find such a specialist, write to the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists, 11 Dupont Circie NW, Suite 220, Washington, D.C. 20036. Q. ¥ am 49 years old with a 62- year-old boyfriend. We have sex every day, and I have been wondering. Is such frequent sex harmful fo a man? A. Women readers around the country are laughing with a slightly bitter edge and saying ‘You should live so long, and never have a problem worse than that.’’ All I can say is. if you hear no complaint from your boyfriend, it is doing him no harm to have sex every day and you are Jucky to have him. The only difficulty would be if either of you should feel fatigue or Pressure to keep up this daily pleasure. Hf this ever comes to pass, have in mind that less often can still be very enjoyable, and that if one partner wants to take it easy sometimes and just give pleasure to the other, that should be considered a pleasant alter- native. tt happens now and then that it is the woman who wants sex less frequently than the man. The reasons for this vary. Some pcopie think less often is better, more an- ticipation and less routine making it so. And a woman may express this by saying she worries that her lover is overdoing it. A 62-ycar-old man may very well find daily sex weil within his capacity, a 30-year-old may find it too frequent, and neither one has to be an oddity. But if you yourself would prefer less frequent sex, do discuss it Jov- ingly with your friend. Suggest thal sometimes you would like just to give him pleasure — that would be a special pleasure for you. I would also say that sometimes you would like to have a sex-free interlude of a day or two. Your own special cycles of sexual desire run that way. LIFESTYLES You like to think about having sex with him for a longer period between actual encounters. You like longer periods of placid com- panionship with him. This runs a risk of his not liking the idea at all, but the sex in this relationship has to take your feel- ings into account, too — if vou begin to resent the daily bout of sex you will start thinking of ways to avoid sex and even to avoid him. Lovers have to have agree- ments aboul sex. Q. Atage 14 I had an operation for an undescended testicle. ‘They could not save the testicle. Having on one testicle has always been embarrassing to me. Recently | heara of an operation to implant an artificial or cosmetic testicle. What are your views on this? Would medical insurance cover the operation? | am 37 and have been married 15 years. A. Before having the operation you definitely should have two medical opinions and some psychological consultation. You need the psychological sessions to deiermine if you really need this for your sclf-image, and to make sure you understand just what this change in your appearance will ac- complish and what it won't. Some men and women have been bitterly disappointed after cosmetic opera- tions, but for some they have been a big help. § myself tean toward not operating if it is avoidable. You function sexually, and your wife hasn't complained about your ap- pearance, has she? On the whole, | (PP i eae Se NAN A MY OO CO hn ao eas wos oe a ac FRIDAY, JAN. 29, 1988 7 PA-11 PM. ONE LOCATION ONLY 4191 W. 15th ST, NORTH VAN. 1191 WEST 15th ST. Sun, Jan. 31, 1988, 41 am-4:07 pm. fs our 1677 E. 12th locations blitz in Vancouver 877-1715 FASHION LTO. ® Every Monday Senlors recelve an additional 10% off Please 2 shop carefully. All sales are final think you should consider long and hard whether you really need this change, if you and your wife aren't happy enough already without it. A change in your understanding might be more helpful than a change in your physical ap- pearance, which only your wife ever Sees. You have to consult with your insurance company about coverage. “Write Down Pattern Number & Book THEN Order By PHONE! 925-3673 HOOVER: Introduces NEW CENTRAL aaesy VACUUM SYSTEM Phat Rad teas ce Pa at abiab Nae Medic mate he AE CER ANLT AS CMC Re Ae pl De Reed Lah Ae Rider Menara Ree abate ie dita Aine ohm eked Lie eA Peed tA at elt le scieteSias