ARIZONA . LAWYER. Howard _ Baldwin, recently. filed a lawsuit against the local electric company, charging that meter. reader Chuck Leon literally frighteried his poodle, - Jasmine, to death, According to Baldwin, when Jasmine saw Leon in the back yard, she crashed into a glass door, “involuntarily urinated,” then escaped out the rear ‘gate. She was found dead the next: day, allegedly of exhaustion. eo8 A recent Associated Press story summarized ‘several schemes in which scoundrels managed to’take advantage of rabid anti-government and_ militia types. with fraudulent : » fund-raising pitches. ’ Perhaps the most gullible 4 victims were those.of Scott Hildebrand and “= three others.‘who.were convicted in Michigan after somehow. convinc- ing several people to pay. a $300 fil- ‘ing fee so that they could share in ‘the. pot’ of: “3600 — trillion” ‘ Hildebrand claimed he had just won in his” lawsuit against the’ federal government for abandoning the gold Standard i in 1933." ac) Time magazine reports that, four | months after he lost the election and . two months after he left office, .for- -'mer IHinois " congressman Dan Rostenkowski .: was - still ° getting ‘phone: calls at“ his’.Chidago office from: constituents demanding that he do them the usual favers. AAY former: aide’ speculated that Jormel. F. Williams, 20, was arrested in St. Louis last month: on and filled out’ aperwork using his "own name and address, Tampa, Edward Woods, 49, has been arrest- ‘ed on fraud charges after he went to - a Paine Webber office and asked for “a $50 billion line of credit; ’ As collateral, Woods offered the brokerage firm: a $1: billion bond allegedly ‘issued: by the city..of » -Moscow, and a $625 million certifi- ~ cate of deposit allegedly issued by a: _ bank in.Croatia, plus:a-receipt for, : $66 million in gold that was suppos- several ‘charges,. including using as) stolen, credit card. ‘Williams. was detected ; when, - after using a card belonging to John’ Einspanier, he was asked ;what. his > last. name, was: According to. police, AND HE UTLE Alas SAID Te THE Bit BAD WOLF. “NOT BY THE HAIR, ON OUR CHINNY CHIN CHINS: on Yur vacate / GOING To “Tau go FIDEL CASTRO AGovT CcHIBA CIGARS AND | 30 HE. HUFFED, AND.” - HE PUFFED AND, AND, “Florida” — ° William © edly waiting for him in the ware- house of treasure hunter Mel Fisher. A state official called Woods’ alleged scheme “the preposterous, raised to. the 10th power... (I'm) amazed (the Paine Webber people) didn’t break out laughing.” Taylors, South Carolina’ — Inmate Frederick McGowan, 26, who had watked away from the Blue Ridge ‘Community. work-release facility in on March 10, was recap- tured a week later when he returned to the centre to pick up his ‘pay- check. (Officials, aware of the way. Mr.:McGowan's mind works, were w: iting for him. ) co “Howland, “Ohio — Police arrest- “ed a'l7- -year-old man in January and charged ‘him with breaking into ’ Gilmore’ s Greenhouse Florist and carrying out seven hanging plants. - Police arrived at the man's home by following a trail of petals. Among products: now ‘available by mail are Dyewitness. a:canister of grecn foam that will make an assailant (or anyone else) foam up to look like a Chia Pet, and Rapel. TS). Jusr'act coon. AND} ZAG | Tere BLEND iN. ata HE WHEEZED AND HACKED AND Coountir EVEN BLow DOWN THE STRAY) HOUSE BECAUSE HE ‘SMOKED! So The P&S ENDED UP DYING A SLOW, PAINFUL DEAT FROM SECeND RAND SMOKE. THE END." L THEY'VE. GEEN ‘AND You \éNow ‘EVERNONE Knows IT'S ONLY A MATTER oF WEEKS BEFPRE AGou'T TH TeouBsLes cuBiio .vVs- Hania’ SINCE TH RUSSIAN AID prien ve, £ the crime-protection ® APPEAR! ENTIRELY. © ar! Key Eleanor the: vintage years: IT’S NOT too early for us to- start getting. ready, you know. oe ye We old folks would fike to make a good showing, the best ever if we can manage it, so it behooves us to be at the top of our , form. It's the Lions Gate Hospital 9-1-1 Relay I'm talking about. : © We've got until Sept. 24, that gives -. us just short of three full months to get in good shape and fill up the roster for the Masters category. That's how they describe us if : we're 55 or over and are gunning for the lead. Masters — hmmm.. 1 that's pretty nice. 1s The Relay is on a Sunday, w we “do our walking at Ambleside Park,” nice flat territory, and we'll hope- fully foregather in large numbers at *9:l a.m. They'll pack it in at 1:11 p.m., and in those four hours we all hope to find we've racked up the best score yet. , : » The idea is, and we're all famil- iar, Awith it now, is that I put the arm -on you for 10 dollars; 20 dollars, whatever, and | pledge” that money . to the Lions Gate Foundation. Every dollar that we walkers and _. runners gather in such pledges for “that day.is earmarked for the . Emergency Ward. o> | Organizers expect there will be a lot of teams of eight, doing seri-> “ous running, (that's the Compet-. ‘itive Division), where’ they’ really run and obey relay instruction. , But'most of us grown-ups, I'd wager, will be choosing the ©... Leisure Division, which-means it's ‘ just doing your own thing, no set . relay order and no set speed. Of. . course. if you "re really keen, heck,’ even'55 isn’t all that old, and if“? _you ‘can recruit enough wild-eyed enthusiasts to make your own, Mature eight that would be marvel- *’ lous. Otherwise, if on your own, : what's going ones 4 ‘From page 15 ; Medical Day Centre Dietary Lounge at Lions Gate Hospital 8 p.in. Info: 688- “1716. ; The Arthritis, - Society's Ay parent tele- ‘ phone.support network. Parents of chil- -dremwith a rheumatic disease can call a toll-free number to talk with a (rained volunteer who has similar children. 3-7 p.m. lifo: 879-751 l, local a7 or 301. 2nd & 4th Monday each’ month, . Moodyville Lions Clab meeting. 6:30, pan. Yie's Dining Lounge. Info: 986 3289. “information consultation for parents - of kids with learning disabilities. Free.’ Info; 925-HELP. Pet food donations to aid necdy nie mits ace needed at SPCA shelters. Info: 879- 1725. English as a second language. Monday through Friday classes for adulis., New program each month. Intermediate & advanced levels. Info: Delbreok Baptist Church, 985-4011. . For © Classified's Community. Notices more") conting «events, see arty &-entertainunent listings, -s¢ Around Town coluan in Wednesday’: ny North Shore New section, you can usk to be included with a group that needs to fill out its ros- ter. Registration is open anytime now. Register before July 24 and- you save 10 dollars on your entry fee, That's half. When you do reg- ister, for whatever category, you. pay your entry fee and automati-’ ” cally receive a very colorful relay’ shirt, The ‘design was conceived by; Greta Guzek, and reminds me a lot-.|/ of those panels at the stitchery - show, very lively and amusing and . : light-hearted, _.: If you and your party’ are‘cre- ative types, work up a costume,’ there are prizes for the best, pretty nice ones, I can tell you, and prizes too for the team that | tops the fundraising. The amount you gamer i in. pledges can win you a prize too. Don't be bashful — lay it on your . family, friends, bus drivers, destor, hight school instructor, landlord, wring it out of anybody you can’ wrestle for it’: ..”. Every 50 dollars you hand i i wili give you a chance on a nifty, trip with Air Canada, on any one. ._ of their international sorties.:- Whew ——I'd better start packing ~ a little pledge form around with me. Air Canada is one of the Gold “ sponsors of this event you see: Our: North Shore News is the ofly Platinum sponsor listed.: Makes you proud. They gave me the honor of. ‘lead Master, took a picture of the start-go position. . Then not only the photographer but all the other leaders had to: -.rally round to get me upright ag ‘Thave this rotten back; had it fo 50 years, brought on by measurin “my length ona slippery. woode sidewalk in the, North, pre-X-ray: For this Lions. Gite Hospital ae 1 Relay it-was necessary to go se “the Relay’ 's fitness’ guru, Denis ° pe in his premist pepvalk. ay told him about m unfailing’ ” lobservance of the moming work. out, where at he gently: pointed ou that I was doing the exercises ‘at . the very worst time of my. day, when my body had lain inert all * “night and was at its least supple. * Now I do the exercises after my _ evening bath. Denis says now. they'll do me some good. :::» “Live and learn, but gosh, it _ takes a 1 long time, eh? “Pharmacist CAPSULE COMMENTS. When you ‘are buying | sun- glasses for eye’ protection” this : summer, be sure to choose ones . thar block both UVA “and UVB: “rays. Make sure they fir well, too. If the ‘sun ‘shines in around the frames, you are losing eye protec- tion. : oe _ We hear a ‘lot about ‘ “SPE” on abels for sunscreens. lt stands for. -Sun Protection: Factor. “A” sun-" “sereen with an SPF of 15 means you can. stay in the sun for. 15- times