40 - Wednesday, July 25, 1990 - North Shore News LIFESTYLES Woman must choose between dog and lover Q. YM A 40-year-old man. Recently I began seeing a woman I like a lot, but I have a real problem with her. During our first sexual encounter, her Doberman pinscher dog came into the bedroom with us. He didn’t get on the bed, but he laid on the fioor next to it and made me nervous as hell. Next time, I asked her to tie him in the yard or at least lock him out of the bedroom. No dice. He barks if he isn’t allowed free tun of the house. The neighbors don’t like the noise. So I said, ‘“‘Let’s go to my place.’’ No dice. She can’t leave the dog alone. I like this woman, but I can’t handle the dog in the bedroom. Do you think she has a strange relationship with her dog? A. I don’t know what you mean by strange, but I think letting a dog come between her and a man she enjoys is strange behavior. She is letting this dog run her life! Tell her you understand how much her dog means to her, but you can’t have it in the bedroom while you’re making love. Then give her the same choices you gave her before. If she doesn’t choose one, you choose the door, because she cares more about the dog than she does about you. Q. I am a male 70 years old. I had a prostate operation some years ago which left me impotent. I can no longer have intercourse, but I still date and have pleased the ladies with my hand. Now, F have found a nice lady I want to masry. Most spinal From page 39 among 40- to 60-year-olds. Most of these falls happen during such home routines as cleaning gutters, pruning, falling down stairs or getting out of the bathtub. “One three-year-old girl feil on- ly from a couch back to the soft sitting cushion area, but the angle broke her neck and now she is a quadrapalegic for life’? Lower said. “Our focus is on prevention,”” Lower said of the three-year-old SCIP program, a joint project of University Hospital-Shaughnessy Site and the B.C. Parapalegic Association. Assisted by Louise Aird of West Vancouver, Lower organizes sev- eral young speakers, all of them disabled, who address school classes, recreation centres, sports groups and the media on safety and prevention. “Participate, but think before you act,’’ Lower says. More advice: Refuse to drive with a drinking driver; always drive sober; always wear your safety belt; always allow enough time to make your trip, and stick to the speed limit. Before you dive, check that you have at least five feet of water, the minimum you need for a shallow dive. At home, sand bag the bottom of your ladder and/or get someone to hold it. Be extra careful with roofs, as many people fall off or through them. And treat every stair with respect — think about where you are, not where you are going. Hartley, a computer graphics designer and desktop publisher, lives with his wife Christine, 24, an artist, in an apartment in Blair House,a special needs residence. His most painful memory, he says, is how most of his friends faded away after he was disabled. Dr. Ruth Dr. Ruth Westheimer She is 62 and full of spunk. For her, I want to do something 1 have never done before: oral sex. I have suggested it and she gets excited about the idea when we talk. Like me, she has never done this particular thing. But, when f start to do it, she loses her nerve and says no. Why is that? Do you think che’s afraid I'm going to do it wrong since Um no expert in this field? A. Bravo to you, both for wan- ting to please your lady and for having the courage to try some- thing new! I suggest you read Alex Comfort’s book The Joy of Sex. It will show you how to per- form oral sex. Maybe you should read it together. She is probably more worried about herself than she is cord injuries But he praises the murses al Shaughnessy for their unfailing support to the many emotionally- traumatised patients, and especial- ly Dr. Alan Moore at the G.F. Strong Rehabilitation Centre, ‘a about your performance. Many women, of all ages, worry that their partners will find performing oral sex unappealing. Q. I am a 28-year-oid woman married to a 40-year-old man. I love him very much. We have 2 good marriage, but no passion. I have read everything about put- ting romance in your marriage, but nothing heips. | don't know what my problem is. [ just know I want more than this. Now I am fantasizing about sex with other men, 1 am tempted to have an affair, though I don’t know anyone to have it with. I hate to throw away a good mar- riage, but I need more. What can Ido? A. | worry that you are headed for trouble. You need to talk to a good therapist. Maybe you are not orgasmic and need to learn how to become orgasmic. If this is the problem, another man won't solve it. Or, perhaps you are expecting too much from sex. Some women have such romantic fantasies of how sex should be that they are always disappointed. And maybe you are one of those people who believes fantasies mean more than they do. Everyone has fantasies about sex with a different partner. Hav- ing that fantasy doesn’t mean you must try to act it out or that you can't be satisfied with your hus- band. Please talk to someone. Otherwise 1 am afraid you will have an affair and allow it to destroy your marriage before you've really discovered what you want. preventable great and sweet man who gave me courage."’ For further information on the SCIP program, call Louise Aird at 921-8735 or Mary Ellen Lower at 875-2222, local 8515. nonesuch boutique SUMMER SALE CONTINUES up to on Entire Selection of Spring/Summer Ladies’ & Men’s Merchandise SHOP EARLY FOR BEST SELECTION 1457 Bellevue Ave., West Vancouver 925-9454 900 W. 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