9 - Wednesday, November 19, 1986 - North Shore News N. Van teachers make classroom PONE SARE A A RAN ENE ENE IRRADIATED OT REY er nC ROAR mE ET Ent Sno, FEO a See Va ee AN SE ORE ETE er RO Doug Collins @® get this straight ® TT IS remotely possible that Paul Watson the pro-whale man is nota lunatic. But I doubt it. And even if he is sane, he has to be a ‘self-righteous vigilante common criminal,” as an erudite chap of my acquaintance put it. As you may have heard, this Champion Silly Ass of all the Canadas took it upon himself to organize the destruction of two whaling ships and a whaling plant in Iceland. One result was that for a few days he even took the egregious Mulroney-Clark team off men’s minds in my famous West Van watering hole. Which is no small achievement. Theories abound as to the reasons for the lad’s nincom- poopery. Some say it must be his mummy’s fault, some his daddy’s. But I blame Aim, He claims to be Brother Whale’s keeper, but in fact is inspired by - delusions of grandeur, just like the late Messrs. Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, and bottle-smasher Stan Persky. If Charlie Chaplin were still around, he would have a perfect subject for caricature. Watson hears voices and prays daily for his name to appear in the papers. The voices tell him to ram boats off the coast of Portugal and to charge off into the Nor- thern Wilderness to save wolves, even though he knoweth not where he goeth. it follows naturally, thereforc, tha: he should pick on Iceland, the well- known aggressor state. It was of some significance, I think, that the others did the ac- tual wrecking in that expedition, and that he remained at home to receive messages and make phone calls, Every army has to have a general, of course, but in the Ar- my of the Barmy it is always the generals who have the biggest spots before their eyes. There is never any lack of recruits, cither. There was a telling scene in the movie Bonnie and Clyde in which a simple-headed gas station atten- dant took only a second to drop his pump and join the gang when invited to get rich quick. I recall, too, that when the FLQ was on the rampage in Quebec, four guys returning from a holiday in the U.S. heard what was happening and immediately set up their own FLQ cell. (In more ways than one, as it later transpired.) Watson believes he can hide behind the Charter of Rights. If the Icelanders seek to extradite him, he says, he will use the Charter to ‘‘delay things for at least a couple of years’’. Perhaps. As many said when that dumb document was being written, it would help criminals and afflict the innocent. The courts are partly to blame for Watson’s antics, because when he was charged with an of- fence in Newfoundland — it was the seals he was saving on that oc- casion — he served only a few days in durance vile. 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Choose from 1000's of designs and patterns * ALL WORKMANSHIP CUARANTECD IN HOME SERVICE 1461 CLYDE AVE. WEST VANCOUVER 926-8819 Puta guy like hint away for a couple of years and his looniness would be directed into more con- structive forms. He might: learn knitting, or become a political scientist. It grieves meoinuch that) he hasn't fatlen into the hands of the Russians. But there's hope, it hav- ing been reported that he is ‘plot. ting raids'' against the Soviet Union, Japan and Norway. One trusts he will put his body where his mouth is and go on safari against the USSR. Siberia, they tell me, is a very cold place, and Gulag not exactly a Club Med. | would even buy the book he would write on his release, always provided that 1] live that long. “One Day In The Life of Ivan Denisovitch Watson"’ should make fascinating reading. Our budding Ivan D. Watson doesn't see himself as a terrorist, of course. But that’s what they all say. They see themselves as freedom fighters. So do the soldiers of the Barmy Army, My man Vic of the above- mentioned famous watering hole is a source of 200d ideas and apt comments, and the other day he suggested that Watson should be taken to the Stanley Park Whale Pool and thrown in, It is my opi- nion, though, that the whales would object. They are not on record as demanding such strange company. But the witless one would probably endorse the sug- gestion. It would, after ail, get his name into the papers. | Lonsdale Qua size proposal NORTH VANCOUVER School Teachers’ Association requested the school board make chissroom size a part of teacher contract negotiations next year, By KIM PEMBERTON News Reporter The proposal was made carlier this month when NVTA_ repre- sentatives met with a North Van- couver School Board committee to discuss the issue of classroom size. NVTA_ president Andy Krawezyk said North Vancouver ranks 60th out of 74° school districts in terms of classroom sizes above standards, set by the B.C. Teachers’ Federation, He said the optimum standard is no more than 30 students per class in grades four to 12; kindergarten classes should be no larger than 20, and in grades one to three the limit should be 25 students per class. Outgoing school board chairman Seo Board Page 11 og aS Jack Russell NOTARY PUBLIC property conveyancing wills, affidavits, UK matters, {nformation 926-4450 R405 Bellevue, West Van TEAK GIFTWARE 0%—60% orr Distributor Close-Out Salad sets, spice racks, wine racks, kitchen accessories, etc., etc.