hi fy) (Ample FREE Parking) HAVE WE lost our sense of humor entirely? Have we | become a bunch of grim- faced New Puritans? Would Oliver Cromwell be happy if , he could see today’s Canada? I fear so. There are a few laughs left, but in the general run-of things we have become about as funny as a funeral. Public laughs are frowned on. Corporations shudder and col-" lapse when the radical feminists ‘start squawking. Hostess Frito-Lay of Canada Co. surrendered without firing a shot when the aforesaid fems com- , plained about a billboard they held - to be in bad taste. ; . The offending advertisement appeared i in Toronto, and read: Kiss the old bag goodbye. The ad was part of a campaign “10 launch Doritos tortilla chips in “new packaging. A-wretch of a fern lawyer com- + plained it was “appalling and pro- foundly anti-woman: “Appalling” must be one of her . ". faverite words because according. | - to the report in the Globe & Mail — she said further that she was “appalled that the company and its advertising agency would display ‘offend anyone with those bog7ds.’ Doug Collins _ on the other hand such insensitivity to the older ~ women in our society.” Tam appalled that she is , appalled. | am also appalled that Frito-Lay would run for cover. Its . spokesman was abject. “We obviously didn’t intend to he said in announcing that the ads would come down, ©: - “It's downright appalling, that's what. Frito-Lay got six complaints in all. ; _ This sort of st i is not confined to Canada, you may te pleased to hear. And sometimes it's so funny ° in itself that a fellow has to burst out laughing, as I did when I read an item in the Daily Telegraph. Call: . DEREK A. CAVE Triai Lawyer. Get the settlement 100 Park Royal, West Van. you deserve. #508, Kapitano 100 Building ° SCANDE NAVAS RUSSIA <, IZNIGHT CRUISE | AUG 95. : 1325 Marine Dr. « Norgate Mall Call 984- 6122 STARTING FROM - BBio. “(Ocean view!) The story concerned a former British Army offtcer who was suing the Ministry of Defence and 10 other officers because of “sustained bullying” in the officers’ mess. Here's how it read: “Mr. Alistair Green, 29, a for- mer second lieutenant in the 7th Royal Horse Artillery, claimed his maltreatment — which included being strapped to a cannon with a rose between his buttocks — brought on an acute mental break- down.” Sorry. But the picture of a guy strapped to a relic of the Crimean war with a rose iit his bum reduces me to tears. Confirmation for my critics, if any is needed, that fam warped and woofed. A judge with the delightful name of Popplewell awarded Lieut. Green $1,500, But not for that. It was for a claim that a captain had burst into the junior officer's rootn and attempted to assault him. High jinks in the Royal Horse | Artillery. What they would have done with the lieutenant if the RHA still had horses doesn’t bear thinking about. , So things are pretty bad all over. But there’s this to be said for the British minister of defence, whoev- er he may be. ¢ He didn't disband ihe regiment. Which is certainly what we would have done, This next item is not quite in that class but it’s worth thinking about. Voodoo has reached Miami. thanks to Washington's gencrous, humane and compassionate immi- gration policies. According to USA Today, “Voodoo and Santeria animal sacri- fices are being performed near Miami's county courthouse in an effort to influence cases being heard in court. “Roosters, chickens or goats are killed and the spirits are offered to the gods. Some defendants are natives of Cuba or Haiti, where such practices are. more common, _ “Court officials have a ‘voodoo squad’ to remove the dead animals, charms and other sacrifices.” | look forward to the day when, courtesy of Immigration Minister Sergio Marchi, we too will be treat- ed to the sight of roosters, goats and chickens being slaughtered in front of our courthouses. Can't | think why it hasn't happened -already. We can be sure that the politi- “cally correct won't be appalled at that. And the laugh will be on us. TV deal benefits studio SHOOTING FOR anew televi- sion series may start this summer at North Shore Studios in North Vancouver. By Brent Mudry Contributing Writer The Fox network awarded Cannell Studios a mid-season order for seven episodes of Profit this week. The show stars Adrian Pasdar, according to Penelope: Selwyn-Levey, a Cannell promo- tions executive. Details are still being worked out. The series is slated as a back-up for Fox's fall season. Meanwhile local acting man- ager Peter Leitch says North _ Shore Studios will not be part ofa pending US$30-million buyout of Cannell Entertainment by New; | World Entertainment... Leitch | notes producer Steve Cannell and partner Mike Dubelko will retain their 65% ownership. THE CORPORATION, OF THE | DISTRICT OF WEST VANCOUVER Excel next fall with» enrichment this summer With Sylvan’s positive, caring “individualized instruction, ‘students find their grades | Soaring — along with their self- confidence. ‘Instead of dreading chool, students actually. look » forward to it..We've already ‘helped more than a million ‘children turn their grades “around, Let’s talk about how, _ we can help your child. 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