INSIGHTS GUEST COLUMI Friday, March 29, 1991 ~ North Shore News - 7 That ain’t no way to treat a woman WHY IS it that a fact, readily accepted in one situation, is overlooked in another environment — one that is seeming- ly identical? I refer to the paradox by which people can appreciate that one’s birth order in a family has psychological ramifications for an individual throughout his or her life and yet fail to understand that our societal portrayal and treat- ment of women have a similarly important influence on one’s de- velopment. Dr. Ron and Lois Richardson of West Vancouver wrote just one of the books on the market that explain how growing up the oldest in the family, for example, often means adopting typical ‘‘first- born’? personality traits such as seriousness, a ‘‘take-charge’’ at- titude, and a sense of responsibili- ty. The babies of the family, in their struggle to be taken notice of by older siblings, may try to be clever or charming, or make otherwise outrageous bids fo; the attention of those around them. The treatment we receive due to our position within the family af- fects the traits we develop and carry with us into adulthood. I don’t think this theory is news to many of us. Nor do | often hear it challenged. But if that theory can attract such widespread acceptance, why is it that there are By Peggy Trendell-Whitaker Contributing Writer so many people who still scoff at the notion that our societal treat- ment of women has a similarly profound effect on the psychological development of women and girls? All of us from an early age are bombarded with images of beautiful, sexy women in our ad- vertisements, movies and newspa- pers. There’s nothing wrong with beautiful women; there’s nothing wrong with being sexy. But when that’s almost the only picture of women we are consistently offered through our information channels, our understanding of reality becomes warped indeed. We may protest that we can see beyond those images. I can try to say that the proliferation of ‘‘sex sells’ advertising doesn’t affect me as an individual, and men can say that such ads don’t cause them to regard women as sex ob- jects. But if these portrayals of women don’t affect us, why are so many women constanily dieting? Why is there a booming market for products that promise to make women younger-looking. more at- tractive and appealing? Why indeed, unless it is because at some subconcious level we do believe that our primary value fies, not in our achievements, but in our appearance. That, after all, is what we're told every time we open a magazine or turn ona TV. So a woman who has risen to the top of her field suffers anxiety because she has yet to ‘‘catch’’ a man. And girls as young as those in elementary schools start dieting not long after they start reading. How else is our view of women shaped by our environment? Con- sider our very use — or, more ac- curately, disuse — of the term ‘“‘woman’”’ itself, It’s not a word you hear much, strangely enough. Instead, you hear 40-year-old women referred to as ‘‘girls,’? as in ‘‘There are two girls who work with me in the office.’” Just a question of semantics? No way. If you're a man of any age, imagine being consistently referred to at work as a ‘“‘boy.”” Chances are the world would Start to feel mighty different to you if that was the case. Sometimes the word ‘‘lady’’ is used in a misguided attempt at politeness. ‘‘Lady,”’ the argument goes, somehow sounds better than *“‘woman,’” NOW...THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AWOMAN ANDA LADY...19 THAT, NOTALL WOMEN ARE , LADIES- EXCEPT AT THE OFFICE-THEN THEYRE GIRLS. .LIKE MEN ARE BOYS WHEN THEY PLAY AND NOT ALWAYS GENTLEMEN’... Sunshine Girl is a harmless diversion Dear Editor: A lot of unnecessary fuss is made about the Sunshine Girl. One week the lady in the picture is scantilly clad and the next issue she is well clothed. It’s almost as though the editors cannot please everyone so they compromise by switching back and forth between full clothir.g and less clothing. In any event, | find the whole thing highly amusing. If those who object to these photos used their heads they would avoid writ- ing in complaints altogethc:. The more they complain, the more at- tention is brought to the issue and the more saleable the paper becoines. So you protesters should be brave and use your skulls and hold your tongues and just maybe the pictorial wilt be dropped one day because of lack of interest. In the meantime it continues to be printed. Above ali, | find it highly hyp- ocritical that people would com- plain to a community newspaper about something like this when they could pick up any one of a hundred porno magazines and fire angry letters off to distant publishers. Instead, they complain to a local harmless paper such as the News and succeed in keeping interest in the pictorial alive. T.E. Peck Vancouver The use of that kind of reason- ing results in the tacit acknowl- edgement that it is not very nice to call someone a ‘twoman.”’ And what does that say about our at- titudes toward females? If you don’t think ‘twoman’’ carries with it any negative con- notations, fill in the blanks in the following sentences provided by well-known psychologist and author Harriet Goldhor Lerner, who argues that ‘‘lady’’ and ‘twoman'’’ are hardly inter- changeable terms. eShe feared that after her hysterectomy she might no longer feel like a real ‘ © Why are you always fighting and screaming? Can't you act like 9 * With him, she felt very pas- sionate: very much like a ——- * Jane is sweet and modest. She is truly a ———--—— . ‘*Woman”’ is almost inevitably used in contexts that denote sex- uality or aggression. ‘‘Lady”’ is used when one wants to portray an image of kindness and passivi- ty. If this is the general, albeit unstated, rule, then women who are called ‘‘ladies,”’ be it in business or personal relationships, ate being given the message that they should be nice. Non-ag- gressive. Gentle. ‘‘Ladies,’’ after all, don’t rock boats. I choose to be called a ‘“‘woman’’ because that’s what I am and because it's time we stop- ped apologizing for that fact by employing euphemisms such as ‘girl’? or ‘‘lady.’’ For too long. such words have served to psychologically strip us of the power and sexuality that have ac- quired undeserved negative over- tones in our culture. The way we, as a society, treat women in our language and in our media has a direct effect on the manner in which we as individuals treat women in our boardrooms and our bedrooms. That correlation makes a lot of sense to me. What doesn't make sense is that someone can ac- knowledge that growing up first- bora in a family does affect one’s personality and yet turn around and say that the subtle but persis- tent ways in which we treat women don’t have psychological results of a similar magnitude. We might not al! agree what those results are. That’s fair enough. But to dismiss the whole topic as a non-issue is a disservice to the women and men who are working for a healthier, more functional society in which women are encouraged to develop, not their bustlines, but a broad spec- trum of skills that will serve to enrich the community in which they were nurtured. Collins and Sunshine Girl express outdated values Dear Editor: My letter is prompted by the media’s recent observation of In- ternational Women’s Day. As an elementary school teacher I work in an environment in which most of my colleagues are women, with the exception of administrators where men still predominate. In recent years many of us in the teaching profession have undergone training to sen- sitize us to sexism in our cur- riculum, materials and our own behavior. I feel we have made gains in gender equality in the classrooms and look forward to continued progress. 1 have lived on the North Shore for three years now and at first welcomed the North Shore News as a source of local information and advertising. It didn’t take long to notice that a couple of features in your paper rubbed me the wrong way. Doug Collins’ column was clearly racist in tone and offended me greatly. In addition, the Sun- shine Girl feature was blatantly sexist and equally distasteful. I cancelled delivery. Recently, the News has begun showing up on my doorstep, and I've been faithfully recycling it after reading. I’ve been feeling somewhat of a hypocrite allowing your paper into my home when I try to teach racial and sexual equality to children as part of my job. It's clear to me why you con- tinue to print Mr. Collins’ demented diatribes: it sells news- papers and ensures a_ steady siszam of letters of protest. I believe the Sunshine Girl is more an indication of your edito- rial ignorance than an attempt to provoke controversy. Why not shift to something like the Province’s Smile of the Day where you could feature the peo- ple of the North Shore: young, old, male, female and even pets? Come on guys, wake up, it’s the 90's! R. Christie North Vancouver News’ Mailbox policy LETTERS TO the editor must in- clude your name, written legibly, your full address and telephone number. Due to space constraints the News cannot publish all letters. 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