our daughter and her friends
roommate brings a member
room and starts making love,
are asleep.

face is what to do when your
of the opposite sex into the
pretending to believe that you

miss

manners

by Judith Martin

Both male end female

~ undergraduates are miserable.
about this, and none of them know |

- how to handle it. Leaving the

"premises is not always a practical:

solution.
: My suggestion is to throw open
.the windows, turn all the lights on,
go for.the vacaum, and start clean-
“:, ing the room. 1 feel the whole pro-
_: blem will then resolve itself. very
= shortly,’ as‘ Ihave.never known

If the misbehavers say that one
bas no right to clean vae’s room or
vacuum: at 3:a.m., one has the
‘right to say. that. otherwise, one
would be participating in making
‘a voyeur of oneself. (i had to put

that in my letter.to my daughter,
because these young ones can think

: “anyone who could make love with :

DUP the y YaCUUM.OD. |.

of nothing at ail to say as to why
they object.)

I felt that in short order, an ar-
rangement would be made about
when the room would be available
for such activities — only by
prearrangement. In any case, one
would have a cleaner room.

GENTLE READER Miss
Manners really doesn’t know, now
that you mention it, whether or
not anyone she knows is capable of
making love with the vacuum run-
ning.

But she is so mesmerized with
the question, and, even more, by
wondering how anyone could
possibly have acquired such in-
-formation about one’s acquain-
tances, that she can hardly focus
her attention on the chief problem.

Nevertheless, she is aware that
what you describe has become a
serious problem in college dor-
mitories. That is what comes, she
must say with her severest tsk-tsk
tone, of abolishing parietal rules.

_ Back when coeducational dor-
“mitory living began and everyone
“else was direly predicting moral
chaos, Miss Manners was lamen-
ting, ‘‘How is a decent girl going

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37 - Sunday, April 6, 1986 - North Shore News

Rules for romance in the dormitory

‘DEAR MISS MANNERS — The most pressing problem

to be able to wash her hair?”’

The difficulty is, you see, that
some of the rules were changed,
but not others,

When institutions made roman-
tic privacy rare, it was an unwrit-
ten law that anyone who had such
an opportunity must be. given
precedence over the lesser desires
of roommates to study, sleep or
just live in their very own rooms.

Your daughter and her friends

should require neither excuses nor
spring-cleaning to enjoy the privi-
leges of their own rooms. They
must insist on setting firm rules
about when the room may be used
for private entertaining, and en-
force them by announcing to vio-
lators, preferably at the worst
possible moment: ‘“‘OK — out!
Social hour’s over! Everybody who
doesn't live here has to go home
now.””

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