30 - Sunday, February 5, 1989 - North Shore News LIFESTYLES DEAR MISS MANNERS — As a divorce attorney, it seems ivorce attorney on a more practica! to me that often it is the couples who were most lavishly and ostentatiously married who are most likely to get divorced. This seems particularly true when the parents footed the wed- ding D2) for the children. Indeed, I suspect a strong connection: Those “children”? who demand expensive weddings from others are least likely to have the level of respon- sibility and maturity needed for a saccessful marriage. I would like to suggest a new set of wedding traditions, the loud protests of the Bridal industry notwi! thstanding. How about this? 1. Tee couple will psy for their own wedding. If they cannot af- ford eves this, they certainly can- wot afford a home, children and the other usual sccoutrements of marriage. Perkaps should wait (as we did is the old days) un- ti they are a Hitde better estabish- The wedding will be paid for oot of current income or asezis. No one will borrow one cent to “put on’ a wedding. If that means a small ceremony followed by 2 luncheon at home, rather than the Dinner Dance cf ihe Ceatury, so be it. 3. No one else will he asked or expected to contribute to the pag- cant. It will not be some friend’s or relstive’s expected ‘‘responsibil- ity’’ to provide a shower, wedding miss manners Judith Martin breakfast, rebearsal dinner, etc. If you can’t afford it, don’t buy it. 4.No one will wear anything that they can’t wear again. This Shaw receives awards From page 29 community-generated velevision programs. Shaw is just one of 273 cable television systems across the country providing community programming. . Locally, seven community pro- gram staffers and 50 volunteers, working with an in-house studio and mobile production unit, pump out community TV offerings unique to the North Shore. The most durable local show, Uncle Len’s That Dog & Cat Show, has been on air a solid 15 years. The bulk of Shaw’s North Shore community programming originates locally. Said program manager Martyn Stubbs: ‘“We’re on the air 40 hours a week, with a third of that new each week.’’ Live programming sccounts for approximately four hours a week. | Concerned a about | 7 Tomorrow you bring home a teacher to help. Let us tell you how! Call 736-1712 Teachers’ Tutoring Services B.C. Teacher’s Federation All grades — All subjects English as a Second Lanquage. Shaw recently received three of 10 annual awards of excellence handed out in B.C. by the Cana- dian Cable Television Association. The station won honors for a pro- gram on the West Vancouver 75th anniversary awards, a documen- tary entitled Urban Salmon, and promotional coverage for the Christmas Bureau and the Santa Claus Fund. Said Medd: ‘‘What we do very well is cover the very narrow cast — the minority interest groups. We want as many different groups as possible to use the station.’” The company employs 55 people full-time, with half working in administration and half in opera- tions and advertising. Shaw is presently spending ap- proximately $2 million to upgrade its local facilities and systems. means no rented ‘‘penguin suits’’ for the men; no outrageously ex- pensive purple bridesmaids’ dresses with the dyed-to-match peau-de- sole pumps; no $400 flower-giri dress for a 5 year old who is im- mediately going to spill orange juice on it. 5. The wedding party, minister and guests will be allowed to do whatever they are supposed to do within the ceremony, and then to eajoy whatever celebration may follow, without being constantly stopped, pesed 2nd required to smile for one or more cameras so that the Pageant of the Century can be recorded for a century. Statistically, half of these photos are going io wind up on the cut- ting-room floor anyway, when the two young stars divorce. 6. The ceremony itself will be short and simple, and will wed the parties. Weddings sre not an ap- propriate place to proselytize for one’s religion, lecture the bridal couple or assembied guests on the daties of 2 good Jewish husband or Christian wife, or provide fami- ly members with a captive gudience for their musical telents. 7. Soft driaks will be served, and what would otherwise have bezn spent on the liquor bill will be used for a down payment o2 the house. 1989 SUBARY WAGON 4WD from Bas 8. Guests will refrain from sex- ual innuendoes and from com- ments about a bride’s known or suspected pregnancy. That kind of Hi-disguised envy and malice, or simple boorishness, is grounds for immediate expulsion of the of- fender. 9. Brides will accept and az- knowledge each gift with graciousness and gratitude. They will recognize that for a variety of reasons, not all gifts will be ‘‘new’’ or returnable, and they will never ask for a sales slip or suggest they will exchenge any gift, unless the giver makes the offer. (One-of-a- kind items, such as handmade gifts or ertwork or heirlooms, will sim- ply have to be stored in the hope thet one’s children may ike them.) Guests, conversely, will recognize that their choice of gift ives advice iding may well be a duplicate or may be the wrong color or may simply not be to the taste of the bridal couple, and they will, where possible, say, “I got chis at — and will help you to return it if it doesn’t fit in with your decorating scheme.’’ 19. Finally, close it down no later than 10 p.m. The old folks will appreciate it, the young folks who want to caronse will go elsewhere to do so, and the bridal couple cam start their honeymoon sober and unhindered by Wedding Exhaustion. GENTLE READER — Miss Manners has a question for you: What are your patterns? She would like to send you 12 place settings in china, silver and crystal. You can return them if you like; she only wants to show you her overwhelming gratitude. Dit “#Pa cific Hearing Clinic aa oe Audiology Associates inc WAGON 1989 SUBARU GL TOURING NEIL WALTON, MSc Audiologists 3011200 Lonsdale Ave. North Vancouver BC. 985-2501 v: Tae aed oN cae ene mete os te semite si tere aie Abeer at VAL SARI aC RN mt Rot Mk: DAU, ile ere NEAR LST RED. “SRI ME - — PGE BAe, SAE SRR OR al