30 - Sunday, October 20, 1985 - North Shore News Dinner party dinner-less ¢ DEAR MISS MANNERS — In an attempt to impress the various dignitaries of ‘local “society,” and thereby to gain access to their circle, a lady of my acquaintance in- vited them all to a splendid formal dinner party. Her setting was superb, the lighting delicate, the wine perfectly coordinated. Everything was moving briskly along, according to the stuffiest standards, from the aperitif right up to the entree. by Judith Martin ea . It was at that moment, . with all her guests eagerly anticipating the main dish, that the hostess suddenly re- alized that cooking a main course had somehow, in the heat of all the other prepara- tions, slipped her mind. Dinner ended with the ap- petizers. There was no en- tree. Time and distance render us: callous. When I heard Aater about her fiasco, although I knew I should have kept a straight and, if ‘possible, sorrowful face in the presence of such suf- ‘fering, 1 confess to bursting out in uproarious laughter. ’ Never mind the lecture on my rudeness. Karmic laws being what they are, my -heartless mirth has undoubt- ‘edly assured that I, at some ‘future time, will be forced to “re-enact the scene. And with “each succeeding guffaw, it becomes increasingly likely. that I shall have to do so as _ , the hostess, It is against this impen- ding cosmic. retribution that Tam wondering if you might tel} me just what, in the face Accessones of a dinnerless dinner party, is the appropriate behavior of (a) the guests and (b) the hosts. Use my name, and you, too, shall sustain karmic penalties. GENTLE READER Don’t threaten Miss Man- ners. She doesn’t take to it well, However, she does ap- preciate being amused. Without knowing how eventful social life is in the circles you describe, she can tell you that this incident would have enlivened any society she frequents. Do not worry about hav- ing laughed at it; laughter is the essential ingredient of social disaster. The hostess should have led the laughter, and it would have been ex- tremely rude of her guests not to join in. There is nothing more embarrassing than having people treat you as if they were not greatly surprised when ,you did something spectacularly awful. Should this happen at your table, Jet out. an ex- clamation of some sort (the kind that means shock, not anger) to gei the attention of everyone. Then say: ‘*You’ll never betieve what’s happened. I spent so much time trying to make everything perfect and work- ing on the appetizer (murmers from the guests: “It’s delicious’’) forgot to make a main course. Good grief! There’s nothing for dinner! “Wait! Everybody have some more wine, and I'll go scramble “send out for something”’ or ‘‘make a restaurant reserva- tion.” By this time,, the hostess ‘should be doubled up in Jaughter, and the guests, re- assured that they will not starve, should join in with merriment and offers of help in the kitchen or emergency measures. Their fina! obligation is to assure the hostess, when they leave, that the improvised evening turned out to be more delightful than any ‘uneventful one could have been. DEAR MISS MANNERS — If an intended daughter-in- Jaw visits your home on~ _ weekends and then calls the house, without acknowledg- ing you or saying whe she is, and asks to speak to your FROM $29 900 “Panasonic reliability at a tow price” "29 YEARS OF PROFESSIONAL’SALES & SERVICE’ 1285 MARINE | OR. (KCROSS FROM SAVES ON. FOODS) that I. some eggs’? or _ son, what should be the rep- ly? Naturally, I do call him to the phone; however, I find it awkward and embarrassing. 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