ce | + Wednesday, April 17, 1985 - North Shore News hile bankers and polit ians were fran- _, tically holding secret’ midnight meetings .to try to save. the faltering. Commercial Bank’ recently, [was quietly: putting | the boots to one of Canada’s other banks. _ Svicm as] am never to be . the bank's neme. [am hap- py to report, nowever, that ' “switched banks. That is, "fired one bank ang: hited «another. God, it felt good! - Of. course, .1 have. no illu- ‘sions ‘about’ the bank “I’ve moved to. Pve already heard Amutts™ romp.jloose. on face - fougher« Fegulations, wee ee ‘a: result of “mumerous complaints by the “roaming canines, DOG Oo OWNE 3 / whose’ :Ainbleside.’ Park's” beaclies “ . " regulated- society, the: _ Sameness of our banks goes In Canada’s’ ’ toz -death™ - Most of those who com- plained: said there are too” many unleashed pooches on the beach and around the . Jagoon. Althogh there are signs in. the. park, dog department pointed cut.in a letter. to counci] that. the dog: ‘problem ‘in Ambleside Park stems from conflicting rules. Enforcement is difficult to the fact that dogs are . almost’ unnoticed. They all quack like the same duck: So why bother. to change from one to the other? . T'll tell you why. Revenge. The reason for my move was the usual one: the loans officer. I have a little company, you see. I’m incorporated. And once you're incor- porated, you're suppased to enjoy a few minor perks, like business loans at reduc- ed interest rates, a line of credit, and, if you perform, an undefined but all-impor- tant item called a isack re- cord, One of the reasons’: that you hear so much grumbling from ‘small dusinesses about Canada’s banks is that a handful of big outfits have cornered the market on ten- ding. They squat there, pro- tected by government,. play- ing megabuck sweepstakes in such exotic fields as the sovereign loan business with yours and my _ marbles, while, meanwhile, back at home, you and I stoke the fires of the cash flow under the lash of a loans officer, having to perform fike John Henry in exchange for miniscule favours. There! Did I get that off my chest or what? Anyway, after several years of sticking to my year- ly earning projections-realiz- ing ail my financial objec- tives, as they say—this fool loans officer at the branch 1 used to deal with had the audacity to bounce cheques as small as $20 if | edged over the end of the credit line. This, despite the fact that I regularly fed. thou- sands of dollars in bank ser- “vice: charges. nto -her“com- pany’s coffers every year, as well as . shelling out interest on mortgages. Part of the problem, of * course, was that the bank kept changing loans officers on me. You'd no sooner get one trained. to respect you than management would send a_new. turkey in. In- evitably, the first thing they all do is to try to prove themselves by second-gucss- ing everything the previous loans officer has done. ~ The next thing you know, there’s this arrogant nerd on the phone summoning you to the bank for a chat, as if you didn’t have work to do. Loans officers, of course, have a tendency to act in a. father lordly fashion. | think they, have to be ball-breakers in the first place to get. into that line of work. The worst ones: are the young, .am- bitious types, and, frankly , I find women loans officers to be the worst of the worst in terms of the power irips they lay on you. You can only grind your 4 teeth so long before it starts to cause ulcers. So; insulted by a bitchy loans officer one : time..too many, my little von , . on dog control. permitted in 1 certain areas of the park, . particularly: the main parking lot and the parking area provided at the east end of the main road- way,"? noted the police department memo, In addition to: the ban | on : .dogs “inthe ‘lagoon area, ‘ouncil also passed recom- “mendations that cite all dogs: . must be on leashes while: in the park and in ‘the fitness * circuit sector. ~ As well, council approved *: early release of funds to hir ‘ory will I speak on current topics in today’ S world . 5S. & Bodybuilding for w women "& men two summer bylaw etiforce- ; mént staff -to patrol the parks. _ The cost of hiring the two staff will be $18,000 for three months. ideal hom cut “with fertilizer 0: Kis moss and feeds lawn Aldermen David. Finlay and Donald Rowntree both said they could not support the $18,000 price tag to keep dogs off the. beaches and controlled in. parks. “Post shiby Green valley: Kis weeds and feeds lawn 9 i ‘Marguerite Daisy. Plants. flower - m reg. “79S. Comal SUADAYS eautesea : for quality, selection and service. = WESTAN FLORIS 1821 Marine Drive, West Vancouver .* 922-4171 company decided to gather up is marbles and march acrc § the street to another ban’. . *: ‘turned out, we nego- tiated a larger ine of credit and slightly better terms al! around, with some service advantages, so it was a hap- py ending. But I would have changed anyway,: even if it cost me, to tell the truth. Like I say, revenge, Loans officers should- never forget their proper place is on their knees, begging. me. to do business with them. You laugh! Exactly. When was the last time you met a loans oficer. who remembered | that? Guess who. they want on their knees??? | Not me, babe. Dear bank, shove it! 922-3968 a wee wane