yden Stewart ‘may

: ‘ike. to meet. mew people,
-both men and: women, and
* .get-into some kind of circle -

of friends. that are DOING
things with each other. I've

ave. been thinking that I still have

re. some fun in me and just. have

ris “not bothered with it.

At first i felt: 1 shouldn't
. socialize vei /omuch - and
except. for.” raising:

- into maysell. -Oh Fve had a
ew - aeq

tances, “especially through
my work, but on the whole, |
I've just heen’ ‘content with
ae and have sort of got

- thing! But now I'm

; -& So here I am at almost 60

wondering if it is too late for

fe. me to start living a fuller life.

I've:even thought of perhaps

; ’ finding a- gentleman friend.
Jin these 13 years ve hardly

ever even thought of. such a
thinking.
‘Why not? As my mother
used to say, do you think I'm

“alitde teched”?
daughter I kind of withdrew a

261-6242 for appointments for: individual, p
counselling. His new office in the international Piaza Hotel (Open
Tuesdays only) is for the » convenience of Nor

‘emily or “grou

in Shore residents. a

touched by one. “lovely idea,

‘that: seems to have been

beyond. you jor’ ‘a few years.
So. now . - has
swooping into your life ‘and -

_ you have become aware.that ~

you. are hungry for a. fuller.

' life. I ‘hope your. years of

experience will “keep you
wise enough to: save you
from trying to be.too careful.
Keep on in your new start at

‘saying “YES!” to life.

Life could very well lead |
and guide you into ‘the best ‘
days of your years. Let. go

‘lonely old lady, and you'll

find: you are not old or
lonely. A gentleman friend?
You've already got one. Me!

ou may be “a

lonely old lady.” or you may

‘have had “an inspiration,”

“teched,

but you sure dan’t sound
“dotty” to me! You sound
beautiful.

You may be “a little
Dut you ve been

‘about what I’ve: ‘said: before ..
you start writing in horrified »

unny kind o

That harms nobody _

QUESTION: Patriotism has
always bored me. So often it
seems childish to me. But
Fm worse off than usual
right now. because I have two
fairly new friends, one
American and one

Torontonian, who seem to.

think and act as though their
home towns are the centre of
the universe and that almost
all the great. people or
discoveries or on P philosophies
have-had thelr origins “back
home”. It is just silly, Don’ t
you agree?

STEWART: Why sure I
agree. But I hope it con-
tinues that way.

r
w

When I agree that it is
“silly”, I mean the funny
kind of silly. And there is
nothing much funnier than
silly funny. My Scottish
grandmother honestly felt
sorry for any of her friends
who were not Scottish, and
she let them know that. They
deserved something better,

she felt, than to be merely

English or Irish, because
they were such nice people!

Now that is what I mean
_ by funny silly. I love it, and I
get good laughs out of it.

(Now if only Tknew yout)

(Note to ‘dear readers’:
Please think for a_ minute

letters of disapproval. THEN
you can write them if you
Wish.) - ~ ;

Onn
sill y .

Just the other day I read of
an exuberantly enthusiastic
Irisher claiming, with a
straight face, that one of the
greatest singers of our day
was the delighful Irish
soprano, Mary O'Lanza!
And he went on to claim that
the movie, Gone with the
Wind, proved beyond doubt
that the greatest director of
the century was the famous
Irishman, David O’Selznicki

| 49 Pve divorced my husband ©

Don’t waste energy over
someone else's silly/funny
patriotisin. Encourage them
to continue amusing you. No
harm done!

_ divorce came through.

QUESTION: V feel smuther ’
. guilty about a. resentment: 1.

"without any real sense of
values? I have a couple of
those: handicaps miyself..and .

although’ ¥.-fecl like’ T'm:.

nt. handling then treroically,-F—

pg : have had little evidence to -
© suggest that anyone © else

people = ‘cheered to the
last. map, Every entrant in
the races was. being. treated

come. like a hero. [suppose that is |
all right; : ‘because, I myself, -
’ considered ‘them. with . high |

\regard. But what gets me ‘is

that people with other kinds |
of handicaps, putting up with.

them as courageously as they

possibly can, are usually -|
looked down on as slobs or |

' weaklings or drop-outs from
society.

/ What. about the person
with the. handicap of
shyness? What about the
person with the handicap of
poverty?’ Or the handicap of
being ‘unloved? Or the
handicap of being raised

QUESTION:. Well, my
The
marriage is over. I wanted
the divorce and now that it is
completed, I am:glad that I
moved in that direction and
saw it . What I mean

and I'm glad. I'm sure that

happens often - it is not a

e situation.

The thing I can't quite
understand is why I feel so

_ blue about it. I really feel

like I'm grieving - almost as I
would if somebody died. I
wanted the divorce and
would not consider for a
moment going back to
reconcile with my husband.
Yet, here & this heaviness
that weighs me down.

Why is
happening?

e

that? What's

Your word,
fits your cir-

STEWART:
* eri eving”

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don't.

_ unrespected. —

recognizes: my: ‘courage. . of
really © resent: ‘the
courage of the physically
‘handicapped, - but IDO.

’ pesent the fact that other

handicaps * seem to .go
I guess’ Fm.
really saying, “What about.
me? A few cheers wouldn't

do mea bit of harm”.

STEWART: . Another
handicap you. might claim is

in life while that handicap is -

dragging heavily on you,.

you'll get my cheers. The
handicaps you mentioned

are all very difficult to live:

with and I clearly see the

‘ point you are making. Keep

in mind that SOME han-

_dicapped “people, .in wheel

chairs.or not, do nat handle
their handicaps as well as,

f

, ‘enjoy _
. happen. “along: |

self-pity. And if you do well-

-your handicaps.

some: others do. And itis the
same with people who. are
handicapped | by. shyness ‘Or.

Tack. of love or: self-pity. Tf.

—~handie
handicaps
“heroically”,

~your-own
wisely. ;
that is ALL you:

can do. You can’t promote |.

the cheers,. But you. CAN
promote the feeling within
“yourself that: you really” Fate

‘a cheering section,

“AS: you learn. to do: that, ;

_ you'll not need the cheers so
anich, ‘but’ you'll be free- to 7:
“they. - >

them*. when
I’m afraid’.
your.. ‘resentment — AS: Not.
because’: you ‘are..
cheered, . but’ ‘because you.

feel” you ‘don't deserve | the.

cheers )*. ==. even: = from
yourself. Are” you ‘letting

paralyze.
you? Instead, you. can_

- overcome them, or perhaps:.

USE them. Are. -you
CHOOSING to. submit to
your handicaps? You have —
other choices you know.

cumstances very well. Only

very rarely are divorces:

happy celebrations. You
ARE __ grieving.
marriage’ is dead and even
though you wanted it dead,
you are grieving for its
death.

' Another death that is hard

to handle is the death of your
dreams. You had hoped for
and perhaps even expected a
beautiful joyous relationship
with your husband. Perhaps
quite a while ago you began
to feel that it would never
be, but now,
divorce, there is a new kind
of finality, there is a new
kind of hopelessness about
your dream ever becoming a
reality for you.

Your :

with the °

livo

As long as you iwere with”
your husband, there. was
room. for’ secret hope for

some” sort of miracle that .

would enliven. and. beautify -

“your marriage. ‘You. may-not

have recognized— that “small
hope, but .it was. ‘probably
there. Now you: “are. grieving
the death of. your dream as
well ds your marriage. I- am
sorry it is difficult for you,
but I am-giad you are not
coldly exuberant about your
divorce.

Something important has
ended. A: delightful dream
has faded and died. You are
“ grievi Soon there~ will
come a period of. recovery.
Get yourself ready for it. It
willcometo you... ~

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736 Granville STreet, Vancouver, B. c.

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