.. Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart ma y be reached at 261-6242 for appointments for individual, family or group counselling. His new office in the International Plaza Hotel ( Open. Tuesda ys only) is for the convenience of North Shore residents. Why waste energy on good manners? " QUESTION: I'd like a good straight answer to — this question. Why bother wasting energy. .on- good ‘manners? Who says they are “good”? They are phony and a nuisance. ~ and a boor. ‘Manners can be helpful in ways like that. Let me say, before you think of it, that those people who may be considering you a slob and a boor have no “right” to do that. They have I now we have got away from a lot of the old traditional emphasis on good ” manners, but they are still so stupidly important to a lot of people. I consider them a rather stupid holdover from the old days, STEWART: Good manners are simply ways of putting yourself and others at ease. Th that-you harshly. But let’s forget these phony “rights” (they are phonier than good manners because they turn a blind eye to reality). The fact that others have no right to judge you a slob, has nothing much _ to do with another fact, that they WILL judge you a slob and perhaps avoid you are not being considered a slob and a boor, and they help other people (some of whom may be important to you) to feel, when they are with you, that you are not. apt to perform like a slob because of their judgement. They have no right to? What of it? They'll do it anyway. If that judgement is what you crave for yourself, go ahead and avoid any effort to put others and yourself at : ease. On the other hand, if you enjoy being at ease and. helping others, to be at ease, and turn, your interests in that direction, lo and lo “Tight” to judge you so behold, you'll probably end up with some honest good manners and feel OK about it. ~ I don’t care what fork you use or who holds the door for whom, but I would like it so much if you cared enough for me and for yourself to let me you. ._I_don'’t like _phony, “correct”, “proper” manners either. I agree, they're a waste of energy. But I'd like to be considerate of your feelings and sense that you are considerate of mine. That's true mannerliness. feel comfortable ° “with | ee ye em eR mm ae a eae a me AE ne fl Oe oN em Ny AP HE DN ARTE PUG OUTS ISS ORR STE T SS SI ¢ : me . ’ QUESTION: I love. my man dearly and I know he loves _me. He wants to get married or live with me, right away. I . want that too with all my heart, but at. the same time, I him, “Not just yet. wT am not really ready yet. I don't know why Im saying this, but I just simply need more time”, So, when i: say that, I am really scared that I'll lose him. How can I think this out? STEWART: Pay attention to ALL your feelings. The ones that draw you to him and the ones that hold you back, and see if any of them are ones “you don’ t like i in + yourself. I ie there are any that you do not | admire and thank God for, see if you want to allow yourself to change them. changing ~and growing “up, get started, with counselling, - or without it. Meanwhile let your man know. that you have put your finger on some areas of your person that you. would like to be in a more mature condition before you are ready for an all-out commitment. Tell him that you will be able to bring even more. to the relationship when you do some more émerging, and that you need a little time. He probably will understand _and support you in it. If he doesn’t do that and tells y he has already waited tootong, then let him—- - probably lost too little to fuss about and you have- kept ~ your integrity and your abundant expectancies about life and love. <—.. oe a can almost hear you say, “That's easy for YOU to say — you are notain love with ‘ him”. Right! But I’d hate to encourage you to give only half of a quavering woman, and I'd hate to encourage him to settle for that, when a little wait may eve him all of . you.) Assinine behaviour typical _ of the whole human race - QUESTION: I heard on the radio the other day that the police had to go get a guy who was holding off some neighbours. with a rifle. It. was explained’ that the trouble all started over an argument amongst the neighbours about what sort — of food should be given to a cat! _ At first I couldn't believe it, but then I got thinking, why should I be surprised? That sort of assinine behaviour is just typical of the human race and the way it behaves. We get all worked up over nothing and then get rotten with each other about it. Don’t you think that’s a fair description of how the whole world behaves? STEWART: No, I don’t think so at all. I think it is ONE description of how ONE bunch of neighbours MAY have behaved on that particular day. It is probably not even a good description of how those same neigh- bours usually behave. It may not even be an _accurate description of how they actually behaved on - that day. So, if you want to load on to “the whole world” a second or third-hand story about a few real people, - don’t look to me for support in your effort. os Venus, planet of love, romance, creativity on the positive side, but also of indulgence, laziness, vanity, pompousness on the negative side, journeys in the sign Leo July 31 to August 25. Very much enhanced by sun and planet Mercury in Leo at this time, Venus is likely to steer us in wasteful activities and into difficuill attitudes. toward._.others,. .., os OMA ORNS TS ‘conflicting’ with” our social.» and love life.-We should set our priorities and plan”* the next four weeks so thal we can pass this time in a productive and construc live manner. LEO Kaly 24 to Auguat 23 Venus makes you ‘almost’ irresistible. Much magnetism at hand. Seek congenial partners and company so that you use her energy constructively. August 24 Release the hold on your mind machinery, fet go, please others in deeds of love, charity and affections, you and your stars by milo kovar LIBRA September 24 to October 23 Open the doors to friends and acquaintances, socialize and mingle so that you experience the rewarding effects of their affection and appreciation of you. jy" SCORPIO. y} October 24... ~~ to November 22 - Temper your drive and" ambition lest) you find yourself in deep waters with superiors, peers, business associates and public. SAGITTARIUS November 23 | December 21 May be a difficult) choice between accepting = the pleasant’ casy things that come your way or exerting yourself to advance your educational goals. CAPRICORN December 22 to January 20 Some pleasant surprises can be expected from your mate, partners, business associates. Extend yourself to enable them to do so, exert your extra charm. AQUARIUS January 21 to February 19 Do not jump the bait others offer you; accept their friendly gesture soberly. Appearances may be ? Laer ca 7 ~ veepeee deceiving. Hold out for certainties, which. may materialize later. Strive to find your emotional equilibrium, unwind, seek to find the precious inner core. Be extra considerate with fellow-workers,. ARIES March 21 to April 20 Let go, let loose, let that graceful touch of Venus lighten up your love life, soften your attitude toward children and mate. TAURUS April 21 to May 21 Release the reins on domestic order and discipline, let the family experience the ease of life next to you, the gracious, loving bully. GEMINI May 22 to June 21 Will experience great Pleasure in travelling, whether on personal matters or business, will find much charm to entice the opposite Sex. ' CANCER Jane 22 to Jaly 23 The eyes of your feelings and desires may be bigger than your pocket and capacity to finance all the good things you want for yourself. Discriminate. HOROSCOPE READINGS, COUNSELLING - (415) - 921-1192 or write author, 2640 Greenwich, San Francisco, Ca. 94123 USA - Follow the STARS - with Milo Kovar’'s ASTRO- JOURNAL 1979 - $2.00 at Seymout Books, 1637 Lonsdale, North Van., also Astrology from A to Z - $4.50. ~ * Come in and browse through our large cessories. aN finest quality 1401 hornby st. van. These rockers shown are just two of the many designs that we carry. finest prices selection of distinct rattan styles and ac- 669-2145