32 - Sunday, January 19, 1992 - North Shore News

LIFESTYLES

Human nature favors
jumping to conclusions

DEAR MISS MANNERS
— Is there any gracious way
to. Frevent people from
assuming that my boyfriend
aud I sleep together?

One of my few successes
followed my introduction to a
local priest as ‘‘X’s girlfriend.’’
The priest joked about ‘‘wife’’
and ‘‘girlfriend’’ being all the
same nowadays, but when I
mumbied ‘not really’? and blush-
ed in discomfort, he was gracious
enougk to blush an _ eloquent
apology for his mistaken assump-
tion.

Gthers have been less willing to
part with their assumptions.
Human aature seems to favor
jumping to conclusions and to
resist’ correction. I suppose the
problem is theirs, nct mine, but
their assumptions leave ‘me un-
comfortable.

1 have no need or cesire to
judge others who believe dif-
ferently, but I highly value mar-
viage as a unique and special
commitment of intimacy and
trust, which is well worth
abstinence in the meantime, and I
want to be a clear witness to my
values.

Statements such as ‘‘My
boyfriend and 1 Jo not have in-
tercourse’’ or ‘‘We're saving
ourselves for marriage’’ sezm
preachy, uncomfortably intimate
stoppers of conversation. Yet this
is sucl 2n apparently revolu-
tionary concept that any less
direct attempts ave futile.

GENTLE READER — You
were insulted in church by a priest
who thinks it funny to assume
that what he once called “living
insin’? is now the standard of
his congregation?

Where are Miss Manners’
vapors?

Miss Manners tmists that this
incident will have plunged the
priest into some serious soul-sear-
ching about why he has turned
what presumably started as toler-
ance of human weakness to aban-
donment of higher standards.

Personally, she has always been
wary of clergy who use the word
“nowadays’’ too often, whether
humorously or angrily. Aren’t
they supposed to recognize a force
even more august than_ peer
pressure?

Blushing is hardly a sufficient
apology for an unwarranted at-
tack on the honor of a lady, by a
priest or anyone else. But Miss
Manners understands that while
you wish to reject these assump-
tions, you do not want to preach
to others. (We know whose
department that is, don’t we?)

There is a non-arrogant way of
looking shocked, which is what
Miss Manners presumes you did
naturally — and successfully — in

, the encounter you described.

“Oh, no, we’re not married”’ is
the proper reply to the question of
whetker you and your boyfriend
live together. Should anyone rude-
ly persist in clairaing that most
couples do, you need only remark,
“Really,”? with no question mark
at the end. This indicates that one
need not be naive not to take ad-
vantage of the lax standards of
others.

DEAR MISS MANNERS —
When someone brings sweet rolls
to work for a treat, is it proper
for people to cut them up and
leave halves, quarters or eighths
on the plate?

GENTLE READER — Those
who bring sweet rolls to work
should not be quartered, much
less eighthed. They are only being
nice.

As for the rolls themselves, they

“unwrapped gifts.’’ The guest lists
seem (to be gathered from ser-
vice-club lists, etc., as the invita-
tions are addressed to my
business. At times I have not met
the guest of honor, and sometimes
1 do not even recognize any of the
hostesses’ names.

If § do not respond, will I be
missed? Should I care?

GENTLE KEADER — Miss
Manners is not familiar with the

(request for ‘‘unwrapped gifts’
and is not sure that she wants the
rationale behind it explained to
her.

Let us hope that it is kindly in-
tended, perhaps as some sort of
notion of not cluttering the world
with wrapping paper.

Whether greedy people whom
you do not know would miss you
at this event, Miss Manners can-
net presume to guess. But she can
give you a definitive answer to the
question of whether you should
care: No. - .

Judith
Martin

MISS MANNERS

may certainly be cut into portions.

DEAR MISS MANNERS — !
contioually receive invitations to
baby or bridal showers printed on
colored postcards and sequesting

—
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EDUCATION PROGRAM

Wiriter 1992

) PARENTING

PARENTING THE 9 MGNTH TO 2 YEAR OLD
Fee: $44/Single; $70/Couple FS01
Feb. 5-Mar.-t1 Carson Graham Sec. Suh.
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PARENTS OF TOTS & PRE-SCHOCLERS
Fee: $68/Singte; $98/Coupie Fsee
Feb. 3-Mar. 23 Boundary Comm. Sch.

: 750 East 26th St.
Marth Vancouver

North Vancouver

PARENTS OF TOTS & FRE-SCHOOLERS
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Jan. 30-Mar. 12 Boundary Comm. Sch.
Thursdays 750 East 26th St.
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PARENTS OF SCHOOL AGE CHILOREN
Fee: $58/Single; S85/Couple Fs10
Feb. 3-Mar. 9 Westover Comm. Sch.
6 Mondays 3467 Duval Road
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BLENDED FAMILIES/STEPPARENTING
Fee: $55.00/single $88.00/coupie Fst
Feb. 5-Mar. 11 Boundary Comm. Sch.
6 Wednesdays 750 E. 26th St.
7:00-9:30p.m. North Vancouver

CAPABLE KIDS
Fs

Boundary Comm. Sch.
750 East 261h Street
North Vancouve:

Fes: $20

Mar. 2-Mar. 3
1 Mon. 4 Tues.
7:00-9:00 A.M.

PARENTS OF TEENS - HOPING FOR HARMONY
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Feb. 6-Mar. 12 Sutherland Sec. Sch.
6 Thursdays 1860 Sutheland
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PARENTING ADOPTED CHILDREN
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Feb. 3-Feb. 24 Hightands Comm. Sch.
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UNDERSTANDING YOUR ADOPTED TEEN
Fee: $18.00 FS23
NS.F.S.S.

Feb. 15
1 Saturday 303 126 E. 15th St.
9:00a.m.-12:00p.m, North Vancouver
TALKING TO CHILDREN ABOUT
ADOPTION
Fee: $18.00

Mar. 7
1 Saturday
9:00a.m,-42:00p.m.

FS24

N.S.F.S.S.

303-126 E.15th St.
North Vancor

GRIEVING & LOSS
Fee: $44

Feb. 13-Mar. 19
6 Thutsdays
7:30-9:30 p.™.

FS40

. NSF.S.S.

Ste. A-1410 Clyde Ave.
West Vancouver

SEPARATING AND MOVING FORWARD
Fee: $39 Fs45
Feb. 5-Feb. 26 Carson Graham Sec.Sch.
4 Wednesdays 2145 Jones Ave.
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MARRIAGE PREPARATION
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Feb. 6-Mar, 12 Highlands Comm, Sch.
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LIFESKILLS, <..
BECOMING STRESS SMART
Fee: $25 FSS2
Feb. 20-Mar. § Lions Gate Hosp.
3 Thursdays 230 East 15th St.
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SELF ESTEEM BUILDING FOR WOMEN
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Feb. 10-Mar. 2 Carson Graham Sec. Sch.
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WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH -!
FS61

Fee: $37
Feb. 11-Mar. 10 Sutherland Sec. Sch.
1860 Sutherland Ave.

5 Tuesdays
7:30-9:30 p.m. North Vancouver

2145 Jones Avenue -

. 3 Wednesdays

988-5281

FACING ANGER
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Carson Graham Sec. Sch.
2145 Jones Ave,
North Vancouver

Fee: $29

Feb. 17-Mar. 9
4 Mondays.
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EXPLORING YOUR FAMILY OF onan

Fee $29

Feb. 6-Feb. 27 NS.F.S.S.
4 Thursdays 303, 126 E. 15th St.
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ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING - evel |

Fee: $31

Jan. 29-Feb.12 Carson Graham Sec. Sch.
2145 Jones Ave.

7:00-9:30p.m. North Vancouver

YOU CAN MAKE Iv HAPPEN

Fee: $55 Fsce

Feb. 4-Mar. 10 Windsor Sec. Sch.

6 Tuesdays 931 Broadview

7:00-9:309.. Nosth Vancouver

LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF
Fee: $29 fs72
Feb, 13-Mar. 3 Carson Graham Sec. Sch.
4 Tuesdays 2145 Jones Ave.
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_ COUPLES COMMUNICATION - LEVEL 3 here

N.S.E.S.S.
303-126 &. 1Sth St.
North Vancouver

FS3a2

Carson Graham Sec. Sch.
2145 Jones Ave.

North Vancouver

Fsue

Carson Graham Sec. Sch.
2145 Jones Ave.

North Vancouver

DECISIONS: PRESCHOOLS AND
DAYCARES
FS3s

Carson Graham Sec. Sch.
2145 Jones Ave.
North Vancouver

Fee: $12
Feb. 27

1 Thursday
7:30-9:30 p.m.

WHERE DO SASIES COME FROM

Fea: $12
Mar. 3 Carson Graham Sec. Sch.
1 Tuesday 2145 Jones Ave.
7:30-9:30p.m. North Vancouver
TALKING TO YOUR CHILD ABOUT SEX
FS37

Fee: $12

Feb. 18 Carson Graham Sec. Sch.

1 Tuesday 2345 Jones Ave.

7:30-9:30p.m, North Vancouver
NO MORE HOT FLASHES

F
Carson Graham Sec. Sch.
2145 Jones Ave.
North Vancouver

Fee: $12
Feb, 4

+ Tuesday
7:30-9:30 9.m,

“SATURDAY WORKSHOPS:
FOOD JS NOT THE PROBLEM

Fee:$34 Fi

Feb. 8

1 Saturday

9:00a.m.-4-00p.m.

Lucas Centre
2132 Harailion
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DREAM ON
: Fs71
Lucas Centre
2132 Hamilton Ave.
North Vancouver

Fee: $34
Feb. 22
1 Saturday
9:00a.m -4:000.m.

COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY —
LEVEL 1
FS74

Lucas Centre
2132 Hamilton
North Vancouver

Fee: $34

Feb. 8

1 Saturday
9:00a.m.-4:00p.m.

SELF ESTEEM FOR PARENTS
Fee: $34 Fs79
Feb. 18 Carson Graham Sec. Sch.
1 Saturday 2145 Jones Ave. -
9:00a.m.-4:00p.m. North Vancouver

SATURDAY WORKSHOPS INCLUDE LUNCH

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