HERE IS a story to cheer up the two-fisted drinkers who view Christmas as the ultimate game of hide and seek, plotting ever more ingenious strategies to avoid the road- blocks. At one of the more comprehen- sive breathalyzer setups this past holiday season, the police endured wet weather and heavy traffic. Several of the drinkers argued their way into the back of the truck, while some of the more polite and cheerful were simply warned to drive carefully. Many cars were waved immediately through just to keep traffic mov- ing. The occasional! motorist was charged with impaired, but more were just given 24-hour suspen- sions. All was going well until a police officer on the point noted what appeared to be a stalled vehicle some distance down the road. Cursing under his breath, the po- liceman hurriedly walked toward the stationary car. When he reached it, he noticed a well-dressed man sitting quietly in the passenger seat. When the - policeman opened the door, he *was engulfed by whisky fumes. He asked the obviously drunk man what he was doing. The chap stammered that a friend was driving him home from a party, When the roadblock was spotted, he said, ‘‘He just took off and ran away... saying he was too drunk to pass a roadblock.”” The young officer smelled a scam, When the man presented his wallet, identification revealed that he was the owner of the car. Questioned about this, he said he had asked a stranger at the party to drive him. He remembered only - that the guy’s name was “*Tom...or John.” The young officer radioed for the help of his sergeant, When he advised the boss that this driver was obviously lying, the NCO tried to extract an admission that the man had simply changed seats when he saw the roadblock. All he could get were some muted grunts. This caused much consterna- tion. A rambunctious youns po- liceman suggested that forensic work (cloth fibres on the seat, fingerprints et al.) and interviews of people at the party could pro- vide enough evidence for a con- Gary OPEN LINES viction. The sergeant advised that they were not dealing with the Green River murders here. The car was parked and the di iver was sent home by taxi. it is called ingenuity. It seems that the object of traf- fic enforcement is to keep the police from going home without scoring goals. This is measured not in the number of accidents prevented, but by the number of traffic tickets handed out. It is certain that next year more traffic tickets than ever will be issued. There will be more im- paired driving charges. The penalties and jail terms will be far more severe and costly. And there will be many more accidents. But the passion is never to question the way we do things. When the police don’t score enough goals, we invent a machine to help them generate an avalanche of tickets. Radar. Air- craft. Breath analyzers. Video scanners. We send out trucks to paint aircraft bench marks on roads. The new minister responsible . for ICBC, Moe Sihota, has come up with a highly intellectual solu- tion to the accident rate. He will 550,000 people work hard to _ protect Canada's endangered species. You can help too. ati consider making radar detectors illegal. Iam unaware of any accidents caused by radar detectors. But many times, either in my own vehicle or as a passenger, I have seen them slow people down. This reduces the number of speeding tickets. But this evades the point of traffic enforcement. The point is to help the police score goals. We will have bushels more tickets and all these young unifcermed people can go home with the warm feel- ing that they have saved humani- ty. Many years ago, when the toadblocks had become highly sophisticated operations, the police were irritated when they saw many motorists in the distance pulling out of traffic, taking a U-turn and then rushing away. This was considered to be unsporting of them. Surely their duty as citizens was to stick their boozy heads under the guillotine? To combat this evasion, the roadblocks were given full military treatment. 'Manpower was in- creased. Patrol cars and motorcy- cles were assigned tc monitor the periphery. A U-turn assured ap- prehension. Today, the heavy manpower requirement for impaired driving enforcement has devastated police budgets, severely curtailing ser- vices dealing with every other kind of criminal offence. Burglary to- day gets only lip service. And, contrary to the high media profile and public impression, the fuli scale roadblock is a relacively rare event. As for the clever drunk who jumped to the passenger side of his car. What will the police do now? This would strike me as a useful tactic for cthers to try. This is far cheaper than hiring a lawyer to fight in court. The police might seek an emergency budget from the eager new government. They can post sentries to watch the cars waiting at the roadblocks. eee We close on a different topic. Now that Gordon Wilson has ted — the Liberals out of the wiiderness, * it’s nothing short of amazing how _ many prominent party members seem determined to replace him. Sunday, January 5, 1992 — North Shore News - 9 Roadwork: Helping the police score goals Most are touting West Vancouver Garibaldi MLA David Mitchell as the leader in waiting. This is just about the best news the Social Credit Party has receiv- ed in a long time. A leadership battle among the political virgins in the Liberal Party would be cer- tain to destroy an embryonic movement. 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