uw

= —Elizabeth- “Greaves, who
-* uns a hostel for- battered
- ‘women in Toronto, tells. this

story of a woman who ran

.. away from her husband 4nd -

came to the hostel for help.

“It’s hard. to imagine

_my own head,’ he said. His
personality. had changed ©

radically,” she says.

“Ail his life he had been

posessive, but when he quit

working he began com- —

plaining and

an
feel guilty,
somehow provoked the

beatings, or even deserved
them. —

4

. because their
husbands’ promises are so

And

that .-they-

about it, but it’s always been

‘something- that has been

known. - But it wasn’t
acknowledged.” — - us
_ Fhe possibility of violence
is probably raised in most
Marriages, ‘at some inf-

: Page.51, January. 17, 1979 - North Shore New:

“That’s why the whole
question of being battered in
childhood is crucial, because
if somebody was beaten as a

“child, or watched one of
_their parents being beaten,

that's just background. in-
formation to revert

husband is-often- jealous-an:
possessive, and has alienate:
his wife from her friends anc
family.

Battered women are afraic

.of possible revenge by-ther

to when

i
ip

i housekeeper, a good cook.

ca eight

B kone

anyone wanti drinking and a ee ‘Teassuring, most™ of the Once it-has erupted, it is
she says. “She’sanextremely ynusually 8 women return to them-—-__ time for a couple to examine.
pleasant, easy-going, not y- until an eventual point when themselves and their
bitchey woman. She’s just _ they actually. begin to fear. _ marriage, to talk and make _
very mellow, not very T ing-to-find-a plaice for their, and théir ~ changes.
challenging, a passive _ to live, that’s for sure. And “hildren’s, lives.

woman, a good

“It's hard .to> think of
anyone knocking her down a
flight of stairs-when she was
months... pregnant,

which is what her husband |

did.” :

.Why do women wait so
long - before -they finally
decide to get -out of

_ Situations in which they are

being beaten? _

“It's fear,” explains a
woman at the hostel. ."“You
can’t make a decision. You
want to leave. You're afraid.
to leave, and you're-afraid to
stay. It just gets:‘so'mixed up
nobody can sort it out.”

This woman finally
decided to leave her
husband. She is 67.. There is
a scar on her forehead from
a severe blow many years
ago. She has worked all her
life in a blue-collar job and
now lives on her pensions.

Thé day her husband
pointed his rifle at her the
last time it was loaded. “So
was his threat,” she says. “I
think Pll put a bullet through
you and then one through

Ski west

New features of the
1978-79 revival of *’Skifari’’,
Air Canada’s ever-popular
ski program in the Canadian
Rockies, are summed up in
one word -- ‘‘more!""

This winter there is more
varicly in ski packages.
Substantially more!

There are also unexpected
savings in the latest ‘'Ski-
fari”’ programs.

Depending on the date of,

travel and choice of accom-

modation, individual ski
week packages range = in
price from $98 to $335

(Canadian dollars), plus air-
fare.

Programs designed espe-
cially for groups include a
"Skifari Seven Nighter."’
This permits individual tra-
vellers to join scheduled
low-cost group departures.

Skifari Holiday highlights
include a "Banff Lake Louise
Shi Week" priced from $157
to $230, which includes six
miphis’ accommodation
(double occupancy), all air-
port and ski area transfers,
und five days of tift tickets.

Skiers staying at) the
baronial Bantf Springs Hotel
can participate in’ ‘apres
ski’ activides at the hotel

hope to God he doesn’t find
ut where Iam.”

According to Elizabeth
Greaves, weekends are
“battering times.”

“On long weekends in

~ particular,: we can be sure
the phone will ring with calls -

from women who have
either been beaten or are in
terror of being beaten.

1

“It seems the family
structure just does not hold
together then. Invariably,
every long weekend, we
have calls from distress
centres who have women on
the line, calls from agen-
cies...calls from women in
phone booths, police and
cabbies bringing women. It's
just a parade.”

And the husbands: on the .

phone, at the door, weeping

.to see their wives again,

pleading for the sake of the
kids, they'll never do it
again, etc., etc.

Because they are so often
in a weak position that goes
beyond the mere physical
implication, women’ often

this year

such as movies
‘Gluhwein’ party.

~

A “Cross Country Ski
Week"’ in the = splendid
mountainous area is priced
from $98 to $166 (double
occupancy).

and a

An all inclusive ski week at
nearby ‘‘Sunshine Village’
costs from $275 to $335, and
includes six nights’ accom-
modation (double occupan-
cy), three meals daily, ski lift
tickets, airport transfers, and
“apres ski’ activities, in-
cluding a “Swim Night’ at
the Banff Hot Springs.

Skiers who want to ski all
the famous areas around
Banff and Lake Louise and
Jasper can choose a fly-drive
ski week priced from $180 to
$252 which inchides — six
nights’ accommodation
(double occupancy), car ren-
int for seven days (450 free
miles); and ski lift tickets for
all areas.

Ao skt week at) Whistler
Moyntain just 80 miles from
Vancouver -- with its plant
4.280 foot vertical drop
costs from $230 to $290, and
includes seven nights’ ac-
cofmoedation (double occu.
pancy), car rental for cight
days (500 free miles), and ski
Hft uickets.

The incidence of battering
in families, says a founding
member of another hostel
for women, Interval House,
is “fantastically — high,
because it's culturally ac-
ceptable to smack your wife. -
It is becoming less ‘and less
acceptable the more we talk

Wotw

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“If that doesn’t happen,
the chances of it happening
again are much greater. If
there's no discussion of the
incident, ‘no:

- acknowledgement, it’s likely

it will happen again.

“We all know that when
we are angry, we revert to

+ TREAD
DESIGN
NOT
SHOWN

: Scries 22F. |

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om
iy

a
|
elit

-

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Tee ne
>? (3

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TUR
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you're not thinking, when

; you're out of control.”

“husbands, “afraid of

the
unknown and the. outside
world, and do not know
where to go..

The reasons why battered
women remain with their

husbands for so long make ©

up a lengthy list. They try to
understand why = their
husbands are beating them,
and what they could be
Going that is causing it.

But attitudes in genera’
are also important. In one
incident, a woman was. in
tears after her husband beat
and tried to choke her. -

After answering . the
phone, she tried to explain

- to her friend, who was a

They are isolated from
anyone on the outside, also,

and have no support: The

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woman, what had happened.
Her friend responded with
the question: “Well what did
you do to deserve it?”.

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