14 - Sunday, July 12, 1998 - pen) NEWS OF THE WEIRD Compiled by AP. McCredie IN a recent story on internal theft in the local school svs- tem, The Times-Picayune in New Orleans reported on Edwards elementary school employee Ernestine Falls, who in 1994 stole a retriger- ator from the school and then, when she realized it was broken, called the schoal systent’s maintenance department to come fix it. Then, when the worker told Falls that he knew the refrigerator was stolen, Falls not only did not offer hush money but didn’t even offer a tip tor the repair job. Not surprisingly, he ratted her out. eee The U.S. Food and Drug Administration recently voted 5-to-4 to continue approval of the human skin replacement patches made by Organogenesis Inc. The Massachusett compa- ny’s technique is to cultivate and harvest the fastest-grow- ing source of raw material: circumcision residue. One snipped foreskin can eventually produce 200,000 three-inch disks of fake skin. The Economist magazine called this use of foreskin “the most profitabie... since David presented Saul with a sackload” to gain the throne of Isracl. @ee Actor and proud philan- derer Jose Estrada was recently chosen president in one of the Philippines’ qui- etest elections ever — only 45 people were killed in campaign-related incidents. Former first lady Imelda Marcos dropped out of the race in April, but got back in, she said, to prevent the sui- cides of several of her sup- porters, Among the presidential losers was Mario Lagazpi, who stayed in character as God, claiming he had taken a leave. of absence from Heaven to help the country. Soup cook Jose Grimal, 46, of the San Francisco Hilton Hotel, was recently charged with biting off the end of a supervisor’s finger during a fight over access to a storeroom. eee Durham, North Carolina _ Waiter Joseph Drummond, 27, was recent- ly charged ‘with assault for allegedly stabbing a fellow waiter who had taken a hot potato off one of Drummond's trays instead of waiting until a chef gave him his own porato. eee Knoxville, Tennessee — Restaurant cook Harold Jack Sutton, 70, was finally arrest- ed after cluding police for 22 North Shore News vears ona Delaware murder charge for allegedly killing a fellow cook in a predawn carvings knite duch oan the parking lot. Washington, DiC. — TV station WILA recently aired aostory oon Government Printing = Office (GPO) bureaucrat I. Emory Crandall’s complaint that his bosses had refused to give him more than three days" work in the last cight vears, despite a $90,000 salary. The station videotaped Crandall at work reading, mapping and playing com puter games. ULS. Rep. Scott Klug of Wisconsin, who was a teporter at the station before being clected to Congress, has demanded a GPO expla- nation. eee York, Virginia — Rev. Joyce Mines of St. Stephen's Pentecostal Church, recently distributed leaflets in’ this townhouse community, intending to save souls and inerease her church's mem- bership. Instead she drew criti- asm. Mines said the tliers were aimed at girls and young women but asked readers, “Did your grandma have ways hike a whore?”; “Did your mather have ways like a whore?”; “Do you have ways like a. whore?”; “Are you now raising a whore?” Mines said no offense was intended. @#ee Still more people who would be free today if they had kept lower profiles: If you’re smoking mari- juana and have arrest) war- rants outstanding, vou shouldn’t just say “Come in” when someone knocks on the door (two Missouri men; at the door was a former police officer out door-to- door campaigning for mayor). If you’re carrying heroin and marijuana, you should- nt cause a disturbance by constantly spitting on che front. window of a_ bar (Vermone’s Ruben F. Adams, 20). If you’re on alcohol-clean probation for DUI that caused a death, you should- n’t pop into a local bar and shout, “I’m here to get drunk,” because the prose- cutor who convicted you might be at the next booth (North Carolina’s Jennifer Hardin). Saratoga Springs, New York -— Police arrested Tracey L. Wilcox, 18, and charged him with possession ofa counterfeit $50 bill. According to police, the cashier tried to talk Wilcox out of trying to pass ity but Wilcox insisted he take it, despite the fact that the bill bore a picture of Andrew Jackson (the $20 bill man) instead of Ulysses S. Grant. News of the Weird has frequently — reported an unusual DUT cases. Among, the latest: Justin Carbaugh, 27, was jailed tor riding his tractor mower drunk down Route 116 in Pennsylvania; Robert Rowland, 42, was charged with DUI on horse- back on state road 280 in Calloway County, Kentucky; city of Orlando, Floriga, was eee Ricky Hall, 35, was idea to put discarded hair charged with drunk-driving inte mesh pillows, and a taking a big risk to sponsor The new “baggy” con- mo camel in’ January in’ NASA researcher determined the regent “Gav Days” tes dem produced by Maver Oodnadatna, Australia. that 1.4 million pounds of val. Laboratories in’ Oakland, eee hair would have soaked ur “Eo would warn Orlando California, went on sale in the Valdec'’s }] million gale that vou're right in the way the Netherlands in May, but lons in about a week, of some serious hurricanes.” company president David By contrast, Exson Corp. he said, “and P dom think | Maver said it will be at feast a spent $2 bilhon over severah Pd be waving those iGay oo vear before it gets FDA sears and caught only about) Days Toged flags in God"s approval tor sale in the U.S. erthat coul] have cleaned up 12% of the off, face if P were vou.” The condom is tighter at the disastrous 1989) kyon eee Homosexuality, he said, the base but otherwise much Vides spill in about a week. swill bring about terrorist, looser than current: con- A) Huntsville, Alabama, Religious broadcaster Par bombs, ivll bring earth. doms, providing “more sen- hairdresser named Phillip | Robertson told his “00 Club quakes, ternadvcs and possi sation,” said Mayer, and sells MeCrory came up with the TV audience in June that the — bly a meteor.> tor about twice as much. == JIM PATTISON TOYOTA The Now York Times reported in Tune that NASA has recently successtutly field tested an ol-spill-catch, Power windows, & locks, air-conditioning, AM/FM cassette dual airbags poe! 48 mo. lease: 46 : 48 mo. lease - 183 HP DOHC V6, air-conditioning, p/windows, locks and mirrors, A.B.S. 1998 RAV4 time 4WD, tilt steering, AM/FM cassette, 16 valve DOHC engine 04 on SATA Yt tind GAVAGE PELE alot 8 mo. lease 188 48 mo. lease . 1998 Tercel ° ; Passenger, 1.5 L DOHC 16 valve engine, 51 MPG Hwy, AM/FM cassette 1) $3,000 dn, TP $16,152: 2) $4,000 dn, TP $26,080; 3) $1,490 do, TP $14,834: 4) $813 dn. 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