FG Ia RA Tet Nae weil fad “erate le My ke lover is in his s mid-20s, but whe: we make love he is '. only partly aroused and once he has climsxed, that’s it. No ‘such thing as another round with him. I ket him think I- consider this “acre, but isn’t it a form of im- -potence? Other guys I have deen ‘with could go at least twice. Don’t “gay.see m sex therapist because I - foald never ask him {0 go to one. - A. I think you are faking, maybe?, , Or‘how do you convey to him the ‘idea that his performance was OK?. This is no ‘@ crime, but you have to find a- = talk to him about this at a time when you are not engaged with him sexually. Choose some neutral time, when you are both clothed and in a friendly, relaxed mood, because he can be more helpful to you in many ways “~ besides. having two or more en-" counters. Maybe you ‘should talk to a - therapist by yourself to learn more ‘about what can be done — and also how to-approach him about “your: shared lovemaking. It: is’ all too, comznon for problems: to arise . when * you . -compare’ ‘your present. _ _ lover to others.in the‘past. Lovers _ are'not ‘alike; but-if, you love this. man he can’ be a 1 fabulous’ lover to me ‘you in his own way. Q. ‘There is one form of sex play a ‘pies '1/feel: sure it’ would just-be.~ - another: thing if she would : ‘only give It her OK.” “| show. her book. -afier book ‘showing: that this: practice is not. - perverted or anbealthfei, but this - , has no. effect. She snys it is some- “thing she can: make up ker own Most of 39ers are now in 70s From page 35 He returned to civilian life and joined the Seaforth reserves from 1946 to 1972. “I did two tours of command as. liewsenant-colonel and 13 years ago I was appointed honorary lieutenant-colonel of the regiment,”’ Fairweather said. - With most of the 39ers in their 70s now, Fairweather thinks the past weekend’s call to arms may have been the last large event of its kind for the Seaforth Second, World War vets. Said Fairweather, “We are vealizing that we're get- ting on. 1 was 19 when I joined. I will be 70 this week. My contem- poraries are all 70 to 75. This is likely one of the last big do's that we're going to have with this large agroup.”’ “to fet ya mind shout, and if ail the books in the world told her to do something stupid abe wouldn’t do it. Can you think of a persuasion I might use? ‘A. While I do understand that - you want that particular activity very much, you must take care not urself become obsessive about it. And we do have contro! “over that. We don’t have to become obsessive about things. In- stead of srooding over that one thizg you can’t have, think instead of the 99 things that are granted to you. You are not, after all, among the world’s sexually deprived! It is your responsibility, not your wife’s, too keep you from becoming obsessive. Please realize thac the lower part of your body, at the height of sexual excitement, does not differentiate between this possible cause of exciternnet and another one. Your body doesn’t care which position you have used to reach sexual satisfaction. It is in your mind that this one activity may get to be such a big deal. Use your erotic imagination in some other way, to enrich another position with fantasy. Also, while having sex one way or another that is agreeable to her, you can use that imagination to make believe you are doing the thing that you would like. 1 don’t suggest 2 steady diet of this but it is plausible some-. times, and you know that images and pretending are part of your sex life. I can guarantee ‘that thi pretended activity will be more ex- citing and closer to expectations than getting your way and having | what you want in actuality. You really have to stop putting pressure on your wife about this. It can only have a negative effect on her and on her attitude toward . your shared pleasures. And if she were to give in to you in this mat- ter, you can bet she would do it with resentment. : gfand, full symphony performances. -. Kazuyoshi Akiyama - joined by some of the world’s great conductor! «young American, Andrew Litton and rising TAKE A TRIP TO THE STAGES - _ OF BROADWAY, THE GRAND HALLS OF EUROPE, AND THE MYSTERIES — _ OF DISTANT LANDS... * a ae “WITHOUT LEAVING VANCOUVER. - The Vancouver Symphony's 1989/90 season begins October 5th in the Orpheum. — Come with us to the banks of the Danube and the glory days of Hollywood, to the country delights of England and the operas of Rome, to the cabarets of Europe and the innocence of childhood. VSO series tickets are your passport to 2 magical musical adventure. See you there! , - ~~ weer eerwn ew - . The 10-concert Masterworks presents ; : ~ . Airc Canada Classics ® Every evening ‘safuomsy. AirCanada Travel to the Russia of old with Tchaikovsky's towering 1812 Overture, “dance’’ to the “Joie de Vivre” of Spain, and listen to Mozart's Piano Concerto No. 21 made famous in the Swedish film Elvira Madigan. and Peter McCoppin are artist combinations: the prodigiously talented young violinist, Joshua Bell; popular Karl-Anton ” Rickenbacher and electrifying violinist, w Nadja Salemno-Sonnenberg. A special combination: Great Romantics and Mozart Flus The impressionistic repertoire of Great Romantics presents conductor Neeme Jarvi and young inter- national virtuosos Cho-Liang Lin, and Reiko Watanabe, making her Canadian debut. The classic programmes of Mozart Plus feature the music of Mozart, and an impressive roster of Canadian and international artists. seagram Pops takes youback othe glory day, . Co-sponsored by London Drugs. Come back with us to the eras of Gesshwin, Big Bands and ‘ Cole Porter. Guests in the series include Shirley Jones, and the unique ' ‘ Royal Canadian Air Farce. - Four majestic performances. - - Oe Imagine the Orpheum stage overflowing with the VSO and the 180 voices of the Vancouver Bach Choir! Performances include Handel's Messiab and Bach's St. Jobn Passion. as Afternoon Tea & Trumpets — . So very elegant! 2 You are cordially invited for afternoon tea and cookies, travelogues by the incomparable Otto Lowy of CBC's “Transcontinental”, and . a musical journey around the world. Peter McCoppin conducts two of the programmes. Not to be missed in 1990 in the New Year, three more popular VSO series will begin: Grand Matinees, Kids’ Koncerts and the cabaret-styte Cafe Royale. Call us for details. For a copy of our 1989/90 season brochure, call Peter McCoppin Principal Guest Conductor Kazuyoshi Akiyama Conductor Laureate