SHE'S NOT EXACTLY INEXPERIENCED

Almost 16 and not on the pill

QUESTION: My girl-friend’s
parents absolutely refuse to
give her permission to be on
The Pill. le seems to me a
very dumb decision for them
to make for their daughter
who [fs almost 16 and not
exactly imexperienced,
which they know. They also
know that Vikki (not her
name) is the kind of girl that
is going to do what she wants
to. So - under those cir-
cumstances, what is the
sense in withholding her
from The Pili?

Well anyway, seeing she is
not on The Pill, | want to get
your idea of what the good
points and the bad points are
in what we are doing. I'll tell
you exactly what we do so

Always

QUESTION: I am a person
who is continually getting
into ruts. There are so many
things about me that are
exactly as they have been
ever since | can remember.
My Saturdays are always the
same; I always use the same
brand and shape and colour
facial tissues; my brand of
cigarette has been my brand
for 17 years now; as a long
time companion of ‘miles’, I
find that I hate kilometres
more than any one else I
know; my family have been
Presbyterians for four
generations that 1 know of;

you won't have to guess
about what I'm saying.

(Note from Hayden: At
this poimt, the writer does
what he says he'll do and in
very explicit terms describes
the details of his love-
making experiences with his
girl-friend. What he
describes fits into the “coitus
interruptus" method of
avoiding pregnancy). The
writer continues: Now what I
want to know is whether
there are any unhealthy
results of this method.
Anybody would know that it
is a good way to avoid
pregnancy, but are there any
side effects?

STEWART: You are
jumping the gun a bit when

you say “il 18 a good way lo
avoid pregnancy.” As a
birth-control method. it

actually does not rate very
high. You had better not
bank on it.

There are no important
physical side-effects for the
although

man, the

psychological side-effects
and the pattern-setting
effects on him should not be
ignored.

Like any) sexually
stimulating experience thal
is prolonged yet does not
result in orgasm, the result
(for the woman) May be

getting into ruts

bacon has to be crisp, my
cars have all been blue; and,
as I thought about it just
now, | became aware that all
my friends are friends of
long standing. Literally, |
have no new friends. So you
see what 1 mean about being
in a rut. | have been vaguely
aware of being like | am, but
only recently have I been
clear about how pronounced
my problem is. I don't like
being a stick in the mud and
want to change. Have you
any ideas about how I can
proceed with getting out of
the rut?

STEWART: Youve made a
start already! You have seen
what you are like: you have
felt that you want to change.
and, now, you have started
something by whiting this
letter.

Wanting to change 1s a
powerful beginning. Now,
the decision to doit. Are you
ready for that?

A good starting place may
be connected to the ruts you
have described. Chimb out!
Do something different this
Saturday: use a new sort of
facial tissue for a while; BE

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The show continues to
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Theatre costs will amount
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no grant os
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and promotion
of the show will take about
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the changes you want lo see
happen. You may find that
some of vour ruts are quite
valid and worthwhile (e.g. -
keeping your old fnends)
and some of your ruts are
not rewarding to you at all.
(e.g. - not making new
friends).

Wanting something comes
first. Deciding to give
yourself what you want 1s
second. Third (and the pay-
off) is DOING IT.

Happy new discoveries
and freedoms'

C7 - Wednesday, April 28, 1982 - North Shore News

congestion of blood in her
genital organs. and,
possibly. chronic pelvic pain
and other gynecological
complaints (''Human
Sexuality” by James Leslie
McCary).

Dr. McCary. who = is
Professor of Psychology at

é

ask hayden stewart

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242
for appointments for individual, family or group counselling.

the University of Houston,
goes on to say, “Probably the
most distress-aspect of
coitus interruptus is the onus
on the man” who must judge
wisely and well when and
how to completely reverse
the natural male impulse to
do other than proceed with
coitus interruptus.

Additional comments
might be more apropos, but
[ have kept to your
questioning because, as you
say. Vikki is “not entirely
inexpenenced” and is “the
kind of girl that is going to
do what she wants to”. Other
procedures are open to you.
You could both change you
know. And for that matter,
so might her parents.

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