page 12, January 26, 1977 - North Shore News

as solushun fer problims

Well, sir, seems like them yo-yo’ s in ‘the }

.

Guv’mint at Ottawa have a lot in common with a

Mi issus Moose.

the

On tuther hand,
Guv'mint. ain't makin’ too
much _ progress. There’s

wesw sean Ls Teas

sell an tons of powdered ‘milk
we cant give away. so the

tine Bi i | Ciark T heory rer .

_ Fixin’ Everything ......
~Includiu’ ~Politishuns.

Now. one of the biggest

headaches is criminuls’bust- .

‘slammers all

s Sees asawe

acrost the.country. so here’s
how shg works:

WE IMPORT CRIMINULS
FROM ALL OVER ‘THE
WORLD!

in’ oout  frizm
Bans areas ae weasa

chariess

First, we- the -
supertankers wot are layin’
idle an we revive the

Canadjun Merchant Marine,

wich the Guv’mint seems to _

have forgot about. Next, we
slams on a 30% Ad Valorem
import duty (plus Federal
Excise Tax) on.all imported

criminuls an make a bundle —
on each tanker-load of a

thousand or so.

To get the bizness, we
offers ev'ry country. a 50%
discount fer jandiin’ an

fanAinw* Pua ee  reens eee tan ed
SUCULEE

solves anuther problim: ‘We.

feed ‘em eggs - poached,

. fried: boiled er scrambled -

an we. fet rid of the 88

ne Foes

Whelan an dealin’ a

Instid of -coffee, wich we.
can't afford ourselves, we
give ‘em powdered milk ...
an Eugene Whelan gets off
-his neck a zillion tons he
can't even give away!

Next,
solushun fer anuther problim
... we bDuvs hack the iittie
rocky isla’ a the Strait of
Georgia

apartments, residential
& industrial service

. Watergate
‘bought up an we flangs | up a
- Sheet-iron.
shacks. This gets” part. of
Canada back’ where it» be-
longs.- Besides, - wot with a .
ten-knot. tide: rip: and a few.

- force,

we figger out the.

ch fellers . frum

* sinkauantinrmiigmyineane oo

djun Armed Forces aircraft,
“-wich has jest been killin’

-. time: ferryin’ Cabinet Minis-
ters back | an: forth with their

ha Ss

‘the. ae rest -
Country

Texas

few’. hunnert:

‘sharks, we save a few.
-millyun. bucks fer’ Maximum
Security -slammers, _ wich —

these fellers don’t seem to _
have. .much . trubble. ‘bustin’ .

out frum.

a

About this time we. go into: |
High’ Gear, becus the money
is pourin® in frum.a rele big»
“spout, wich is sumthin’ new.
fer the politishuns: who only |
unnerstand the spout wot ses.

“OUT!

“A ‘few thousand. Security

Guards go back into the work
becus they ain't

needed -SO we take. a

smidgen of the four.er five ..
_millyun clams we save. and _

we annuin them. ‘chaatiisnn
ve wr, wages rnem. AEN NR REAR
shacks. with sewin' ma-

chines.

one hour.

pay

ours.

We go “to Colonel Sanders
and he is only too happy to

Y’see,
the" Colonel ‘uses all .the

. chicken except ti the feathers -- =.

- ton of feathers, AN HE PAYS
‘US!

bull moose on the prod. The only. diffrunce i is both |
of ‘em go rangatang, bangin’ heads agin stumps
jest to watch the bark fly...but the bull moose -
makes sum progress wen he gets” arount to

Wot with the: feathers an

the sheet-iron shacks an the

cconvicks, we < turn. ‘out:.a

-millyun er so parkas, sleepin’
‘bags an. pack-boards.... an

frum here on, she gets rele
tricky!

First, we takes the Cana-

nannies, an we -air-drop
sleeping’ bags, parkas, Trap-

BI alo nes

‘per NEeiSOn packboaras an a

- millyun er so 5-gallon Jerry-

cans into Inuvik, Tuktoyaktuk -

. West, ‘
, but.

. an points East,
North: and © south -

~ mostly North.

Next, we takes the Canada .
“Council.and LIP Grants wich

vhave been mainly used: fer.” owned lodge at 350 East 2nd

Street was built at the turn of
the century as a hospital. It
has also served as a private

. various .dingbats to write.
. screwball poetry. or make
~ sculptures ‘with ‘holes where |

- the belly. button used to be -

“an we gives the. loot. to the .
Init i in the North Country.

In. ‘réturn they ‘show: the

_convicks how. to cut snow
‘blocks % an make igloos. With —
the wind whippin’ arount an’

the temperature: down about

forty below, ‘I figger’ them
stéam-
- heated. slammers acrost the .
country, wud get them igloos _
up ii in: n jig- -time!

fellers — frum the

“AND: NOW. FER |

lok) ARITY:

: aa. TP a
INANE CLIMACKS!

- Folks j is: worried about ‘oil

- piptines. an. supertankers..an_.
pollushun. -+. SO we sets up’
. ‘BUCKET- |
BRIGADE. IN THE WORLD! |

‘the: BIGGES: T.

“We has a- zillion convicks
trottin” back an forth over the |

tundra;

we: ain't laid .out

, millyuns. fer” pipelines; we
_ ain’t, worried about super -

tankers down -the coastline;

we have solved the egg an}
‘powdered milk problim; we

have cleaned aut ev'ry clam.

eee we eS wate een

mer in the world, includin’

Tie liquid dry cleaning method that leaves carpets dry in

*No carpet splitting and shrinking problems as with

continued steam cleaning. No build-up of soll attracting
9 gticky residue as with many shampoos.

*Handles complote
cleaning of traffic lanes.

renovation,

spotting, - in-betwen

*Cleans both synthetic and natural fibres...including shag.
*Cuts cost of carpot maintenance.
*Guarantoed satisfaction or money refunded.

CY : f .
woe foe he : . \ i ’ Pega i
Vy tah eee ! i re Se een

For FREE ESTIMATES

at no obligation—
_ please call anytime

us fer to take a rele
headache off his neck!

he - onct you. set yur mind tc to it!

_ SEWER CHARGE UP 97%

‘North Vancouver City
.council approved .a_ rec-

ommendation by the City

Engineer to increase the fees —
for connections to sanitary —

sewers by 97 per cent. For:

most -new homes this will.
~ raise. the. connection cost to:

around: $800.

An i increase of 20 per. cent.

artina..a-
in the cost of connecting 2.

‘new building to the city’s.
‘storm sewer system v was aiso .

confirmed.

In other business council's -

finance committee approved
the establishment of an ad
hoc committee. to explore

possible. future uses _ for.
Emerald Park Lodee ‘
BV REE RGIS Park VEY .

bonus, we have solved the

Parole Preblim: if. any. of |
them. ‘fellers figger to. start
walkin’.

south from Unuvik.
wé -jest give them -a free
Pardon. if they make it

problims’ cums. real easy.

any ;
are Wa

oe.
#
ul]

fellers make it,

Ww ich.
stand a few fellers with guts!

eee

“There. are. all. i
‘rumors about -why , council
wants the house saved. It

public would be welcomed.

| Presently empty: the city- |

“an fer a littel extra |

Yessir, fixin’ up a country’s

ROLWHAL
; wa alkin’ south
frum, Inuvik:. we shud _ give
em a life-time’ sentence at
. full. salary in the Guv’mint
. cud snur as neil

fo

He .
[oe
{>

772)

fs

Proposing the committee,
Ald. ° Frank. Marcino = said:
sorts of
may not be worth saving.”’

The building is made of

~cement and reported to. be:
structurally sound. Ald. Jim ~

- =a

Warne said thai: suggestions |

about its future from... the

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