WEWS photo tthe Wabofiesd

THE driver of the car on the ieft parked within the lane stall martdngs but felled to
centre his car in tie space, putting his passenger side at risk of lasing paint chips.

Parxin’ poop

PARK or get off the pot

I always say.

Well, not always — in fact,
never — but it sets up the
theme of this column quite
nicely.

Every time you take your
car out for a spin you must
eventually park it. A serious
chore for some and a sceming-
ly impossible task for others.

Parkers poorly parking are
a great frustration for many
motorists, especially me, who
even has the luxury of venting
traffic woes in this here back-
page-type column.

While there is a major lack
of patience on our roads
today, some motorists really
know how to push the but-
tons. Even the most unruffled
drivers start to steam when
suddenly confroated by a dri-
ver that absolutely must take
that one paraile] parking place
— even when said place is
presently occupied. Sure,
there’s someone loading gro-
ceries and looking for car keys
and, yes, this usually means
the space is soon to be a
vacant, but gosh, folks, ever
notice the line-up of cars
behind you, blocking the
intersection back there, and
thar one to blocks away to
beot?

These selfish and/or oblivi-
ous drivers just Goze indo-
lence. Too lazy to drive
around tie block and find a
different spot or too lazy to
park a few more spaces away

, STRUT

and walk a bit. Ir’: a wonder
they are never run into by
another driver too lazy to
stop.

Then, of course, there are
those drivers that never
icarned to park in the first
place.

‘The ability to park is sup-
pose to be another one of
those elementary driving skills.
Too often, though, are we
stuck behind a umid parailcl-
parker who must wait until
everyone behind him or her
has gone away, which can be a
very long wait at nies.

Or there’s the parallel-park-
cr who pulls into a space nose
first and then proceeds to wig-
gle back and forth seventeen
times trying for the pericct fir,
using part of the road in the
process and causing everyone
else to swerve or stop sudden-
iy and/or dangerously.

Or there’s the dri
invariably in a larger vehicle,
who pulls into a curbside spot
nose first and drives up the
curb and down again, making
the park a one shot, off-road
experience. I kind of admire

GIS

neriuri

that manocuvre although it is
potentially dangerous and
completely illegal.

Then there’s my personal
favourste: The driver who
takes no time at all to parallel
park yet still manages to be
four feet from the curb and
somewhat askew. This bizarre
positioning, doesn’t perturb
me — I mean them — at all
and they’re out of their car in
a flash and dashing away with
much more important things
tu do. Very nice. Let the fittie
people woiry about it, you’ve
got some banking to do!

Mall parking lots? ft
amazes me to no end the
aumber of people who don’t
know the actual size of their
car. They'll wiggle and waggle
back and forth over an az
ihe size of 2 doormat for fear
of hitting other cars nearby. A
worthy fear, to be sure, but
just once I'd like to sce these
spatially-challenged drivers get
out of their vehicles and take
note of the extra fifty-five feet
at their disposal.

No actual advice on chis,
folks, except maybe: Learn to
drive! Parking is as much a
part of driving as puttering
down the freeway or blowing
stop signs, Get on it. Maybe
take a refresher lesson from
someone keen on helping you
to gett dght (1 recommend 2
very expensive lesson, keeping
in mind that you get what you
pay for).

Park it or get off the pot.
Re safe.

WS LIRAITED |

26

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he.

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