'N a perfect socialist world it
would be the government looking
out for the little guys.
In the provincial NDP’s world of
.,, appeasing big business while trying
“to keep the votes of the little guys, the
“rules of the game are not so straight:
forward.
© Ask former singer and environ-
- nentalist Terry Jacks. He’s the man
... who: has' tried for five years, at his
" own expense, to do the government's
job” of: protecting the little guys
- around Howe Sound from pollution
“from the Port Melfon pulp miil.
One might have expected that the
province’s Ministry of Environment
would have been enforcing its pollu-
tion standards in the face of public
.s interest in: the. environment. Guess
again. It took Jacks'a long time to
onfirm that: the mill had been

“The one ¢ thing about "youth is that youth dosén’t

exceeding its pollution emission per-
mit for years, puinping sulphur diox-
ide and nitrogen oxide into the air to
fall, mostly, in the waters of Howe
Sound. Bur prove it he did.

Given that the government was
doing nothing to enforce its own
standards, Jacks launched a private
prosecution of the mill’s non-compli-
ance. Did the government assist? Not
exactly. In a rarely used legal move,
the Attorney General took over the
prosecution ... and then dropped the
case. ,

Meanwhile, the mill sought and
obtained a relaxation of its emissions
standard, a decision that Jacks has
just appealed.

Win or lose, the Howe Sound owes

- Jacks for his determined fight on its

behalf. It’s a shame we are not able to

; thank the NDP, instead of him.

_ —E- -mail

derstatid what death means. It’s not romantic, it’s not ..

‘It’s final.”

orth Shore, Rescue's s Tim Jones. s on the inabifi ty of the .
young to, comprehend the need to plan for che worst possibil-
ities when playing in. the North Shor °

O Send ds

the basements and the :

es,
hitcheae ‘That's where Bill Gates started. You start there,”
costs low and move out from there.” .

West Van zesident Allan Holender says that one of the sell

ing: ‘points of West Vancouver — which he likens to Sausalito, -
is its healthy‘ business climate that encourages.
eople to start ee their own home business ventures. (From a

O Fac

zl law, officers = Bi
m their current home at the RCMP P building. (From a a 1 De

15 News:

th’

mill emission levels are still too hi

St Coun: Emic Gast hs says a munici-
joved back to municipal hal!

Jay. Clarke, alias ‘Michael Slade, says s co-authoring, especial

iter,” _by: himse
‘This

‘Terry: Ja
for the past five years (From a

' provider, you must
- first be able to

ore mountains. (From a

ving, my sense o}
tion that doesn’t have the banner, “Aryan. -

“Nations Brotherhood,” "emblazoned across
the front page. a

“Now, before we : go any further; I have :

. Jacks has been fighting

THERE should be a law stating **

that if you wish to utilize the ser-

vices of an e-mail

speak the language -

in which you are
attempting to com-

“municate.

I developed this revo-

lutionary and soon-to-be
“ highly regarded proposi-
“tion after receiving an
- < inordinate number of
frankly actionable e-mails ’

from a disgruntled News reader who evi-.
dently doesn’t a preciate my style of writ-
umiour, or any publica- :

to tell you in all honesty, I couldn't give a‘:
fiddler’s diddle what ie have to say‘
about my work, whether in letters to the

- editor or on the men’s room wall at Jack

. will get you nowhere and if your opinions c

are so damned important, why aren’t
writing this column:
‘ Having said that, do, however,
become a tad anxious when cranks and cra
ies begin pouring noxious e-mails into the

“sanctity of my home via the e-mail address

you'll tind at the bottom of this article.
“My home, I tell you. “Where my

“sleeps and where my children play. with

their toys,” as Michael Corleone once
remarked ina similar situation:
Now, I have neither a wife nor a child”
the Lord for latex), but I do ge!

hankering for some Godfather style
vengeance whenever some malcontent with
a brain like an $.0.S. rie ad repeatedly ¢-
me the same obses-
sive gripe from a Web-
based (and, therefore,
rég .» difficult to trace) Hor:

Poiter mail site.
when the missives

~ become progressively’
frantic and harried, like .

Days of
‘Whine &-

‘swallowed a brick of
Newraes

‘time-released metham- ..
phetamine and was wait-'
Ling to blow. “5.

“The worst part is that the degenerates
who launch these campaigns of deviant :
rage are invariably illiterate. They can’t

” spell, they can’t punctuate, they couldn’t __;
lash 2 noun and a verb, together with ar an.
acetylene torch.: _

It really is maddening.

_ I thérefore propose that English place
ment exams be imposed on anyone signing
uP for an‘e-mail address.

.. Essentially the same thing they

weed poison-hearted pig farmers out of
“OUF post: ‘secondary education system, ‘an
" examination of this sort will render chronic

= The entire process would be simple

; enough to implement.

The loogani in question will artempt to
log-on to an Internet service provid
order. to open
so Pve heard): Pop up «
puter screen and read something | like this

Executive Editor

It’s even more unsettling

‘the author had somehow -

45 USUAL, THe FIAST SNOWFALL OF THE
* S80 CATCHES DRNERS WNPRERAROD:

crazies need Englis

or geeks who fail to pass the following:

- examination will not — under any circum:

stances — be permitted to vent their bent:

- headed frustrations and criminal intents
__ over the Internet.” °

The aforementioned logan (sputtering °.”
and seething by this point) will then be ;

‘. instructed to compicte a set of exe

familiar to any 12-year-old

“That is to say, any 12-year: old who di
n't drop out of school, shave their head,
tattoo swastikas on their knuckles and j join

>a white-supremacist group with acc
‘computer and modem (not entirely

unheard of, these days),
The loogan, however, ¥