22 - Sunday, February 25, 1990 - North Shore News

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Surprise the bride-to-be
with a wedding shower

SOME SOURCES say that the first bridal shower was held
for a Dutch woman betrothed to a poor miller.

for the bride to model on her
head, many people still enjoy such
traditional pastimes.

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Her father had forbidden the
match, so in order to give the
couple the means to marry, the
miller’s friends ‘‘showered’’ the
bride with gifts that would
substitute for her traditional
dowry.

The idea later caught on in
England with people who did not
know the bride intimately but still
wanted the opportunity to give a
small congratulatory gift.

Showers today can range from a
traditional Victorian tea party for
the bride and her women friends
to a co-ed evening party at which
the bride and groom together are
honored. A few items of etiquette
are standard, however, regardless
of the shower’s style: the shower
should not be given by an im-
mediate family member of the
bride or groom, unless no close
friends are able to entertain, and
guests should not feel expected to
bring an expensive gift that would
be more suitable to give as a
wedding present.

When sending out invitations to
guests, clearly mark whether
the event is a surprise, and
write “R.S.V.P” with your tele-
phone number at the bottom. If
you think the bride would prefer
to receive one gift from the group,
fet guests know in the invitation
that you are taking a collection for
a particular item (tell them what
the gift will be, if possible), and
have a card ready for them to sign
when they come to the shower.
The amount of money you ask
from each guest should not be ex-
travagant — usually no more than
$10.

Or you may decide to hold a
“theme’’ shower for the bride or
for the couple, in which guests
buy gifts centering around a par-

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ticular topic. Examples might be a
“fix-it-yourself,"” garden, kitchen
(be sure to note the bride and
groom's chosen colors) or lingerie
shower.

Sometimes hostesses have an
“hours of the clock’’ shower, at
which each guest is asked to bring
something relating to a different
time of the day. The woman who
has “8 a.m.” written on her in-
vitation may decide to bring a
mason jar filled with flavored cof-
fee beans and bearing a hand-let-
tered label, or perhaps a set of his
‘n’ her toothbrushes, while some-
one who finds “7 p.m.” on her
invitation might bring a set of dish
towels to help the bride and
groom with their after-dinner
washing up.

Currently it is popular to give
gifts that express their own theme.
You might wish to team up with a
friend or two to give a pic-
nic-related gift (basket, cloth
napkins, two wine glasses and
portable cutlery, perhaps) or a
romantic getaway kit (tickets to a
play, a box of chocolates and a
restaurant gift certificate).

Activities during the shower de-
pend entirely on the whim of the
hostess and the extent to which
her guests are willing to get into
the spirit of the occasion. One
daring North Shore shower hostess
sent her guests on a car rally
almost as soon as they arrived at
her home. Teams were formed,
drivers were assigned, and each
group was given its first clue to
start them off on the treasure
hunt-on-wheels.

Parlor games are often popular,
but should be tailored to the style
of shower that is being held. While
some men and women are not
very interested in decorating a foil
pie plate with streamers and bows

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game, good for both men and
women, is one in which everyone
sits in a circle around a present —
a box of chocolates, perhaps ~
that has been wrapped with paper
and ribbons about 20 times.
Beside the present are oven mitts,
a hat and scarf and two kitchen
utensils such as a wooden spoon
and a spatula.

A pair of dice is sent around the
circle, and as soon as someone
rolls doubles they leap into the
circle, don the apparel and start
trying to unwrap the present using
the utensils. Meanwhile, the dice
is still being circulated, so soon
someone else is in the circle for
their turn, and, knowing that
whoever finally unwraps the gift
gets to claim it as their own, it’s
not long before the guests pick up
the pace. Don’t be surprised to
see your once-immaculately coif-
fured guests reduced to a scream-
ing pack of excited players ripping
hats and scarves off each other
with wild abandon.

I's traditional to invite the
members of the wedding party to
each ‘shower being held, although
they are not expected to bring a
gift to each one, and it’s a nice
touch to enlist their aid at the
shower. The maid or matron of
honor customarily writes down the
gifts received to make the couple’s
thank-you note writing easier, and,
when tea is being served, the bride
or groom’s mother is often asked
to pour.

Above ail, if you are going to
host a shower, it is important to
keep the feelings of the bride and
groom foremost. if they live a ca-
sual lifestyle, they may not enjoy a
formal tea. If they are stressed
from all the planning and partying
involved with their wedding, a
huge surprise may be the last thing
their nerves can stand.

If your first goal is to make the
couple as happy and comfortable
as possible, all your arrangements
will surely pay off.

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980-1293

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