46 - Wednesday, January 13, 198% - North Shore N Lifestyles. Q. MY FIANCE (he is 53, Fam 41) laughed when J said I wes going to write to you about this, but he said it was OK with him. T have his ring and we plan to get married but I am worried that he is losing interest in me and the wedding won't come off. He does not want sex the way he did in the beginning, and his per- formance has been off lately. He says he still loves me and adores being with me sexually even if he loses his erection or fails to ejaculate. But I can't help worry- ing. A. | would worry, too. Not if in the beginning he had shown that he didn’t want to have that much sex — that would be one thing. But since in the beginning he was sexy and desiring, and since then his interest has tapered off, I think you have good reason to worry. I would worry and I would go to a marital counsellor or therapist. | would find out if I really wanted to marry a guy who has Jost so much interest in me. And I would do that now, not after the wedding, because now you can change your mind about him without having to consider all the hardships of divorce. Q. i am 20 and my fiance is 26. We tried having sex a few times but he always comes a5 soon as he tries to enter.This is no pleasure for either of us and it has bothered him a lot. I worry what effect it will have on our future relation- ship. A. Take him by the hand and lead him to a sex therapist, because if premature ejaculation is the sole problem in your sex life with him, that can be cured in a short time, NORTH SHORE FAMILY SERVICES LIVING Wii AN EXPLORER When your intant begins moving about, a whole now work! ia opened up. Along with this comes changas for both you and your child. You need to learn about changos ‘in disi, bediime routines, developmental growth, play and safety neads. As well, youll discuss how to set limits in a way that will prornote good lectings: between your explorer and you, 650.112. Feb 1.-Mar 2t-- gf & Mondays, 7:30-9:30 ~ . L, Boosen PARENTS OF TOTS & PRESCHOOLERS It ts a challenging world lor the 2-5 yoar od group. It is equally challenging for their paronts. This group will focus on the world of the pse-logical preschoolers with + some practical tips on discipline, communication, contidence-building and socially acceptable bahavour, Fee: $35/Singlu; $60/Couple Ridgeview School, 1250 Mathers Wes! Vancouver ° 650.113 4 Jan 20-Mar 9 8 Wodnesdays, 7:30-9:30 AR Boucher ‘POSITIVE PARENTING Being & parent ts one of the few Jobs lor which there Is no training, yet i requires a fol of thought, energy, time and commitment. Join us tt discussion on how to implement discipline in a way thal respects parent and chii, the use of positive parental power, helping children develop values and developing family communication skills. 650.115 * @ Thursdays, 7:30-9:30 D. Colodey | PARENTS OF TEENS—HOPING FOR RARMONY Rl Power struggles on the Home Front? While adolescents + have to be very assertive, parents have lo learn effective Measures of control. Understanding the range of normal - behaviour helps, as does learning about communication skills, and positive use of parental control and conflict : Foe: $35/Single; $60/Couple © Jan 27-Mar 16West Van Sec. Sch., 1750 Mathers Ave, - » West Vancouver: : fesalution, 650.116 8 Wednesdays, 7:30-9:30 Cc Uren « . PARENTTEEN COMMUNICATION The combination of sdolescents and parents can oiler de filled with conlusion and conflict. Loarning to appreciate each other and to use simpla communication skilts can enable adolescents and parents to begin the process of building a new relationship or improve on existing ona. * 650,114 Feb 13 1 Satutday, 10:00-4:00 ud. Schneider Name Address City ~.. Fee: $3S/Single: $60/Couplo "Highlands Comm., 3150 Colwood Dr, . North Vancouver Foe: $35/Singlo; $60/Couple Jan 28-Mar 17Seycave Comm. Sch., 1204 Caledonia Notih Vancouver Fee: $25/Family NS.FSS, 303. 126 E. 15th St. Notth Vancouver SEPARATING—A KEW BEGINNING Facing lite af iha end of a marriage can bo vory diticul. - Rogrets ate mixad with relict, anger if mized with hurt, dittemmens is mizod with resotva never to make the same mistake again, This group tor both men and women wik help you tace theso conilicting emotions as well a5 acdressing the practical issues of buiksing a one lite 650.107 Fee’ $40.00 Fob 4Mar 24 NSFSS, 303, 126 E. 18th 7:30-9:30. North Vancouver A. Kisa GRIEVING & LOSS When you lose someone you fove, you sometimes feo) overwhelmed by grief, lonetiness and fasr. it you ato untamibar wilh the gtief process, you can alse become frightenod by the impact of such teeltngs. Grieving individuats often find comfort In talking with others who have had simitar experiences. This group provides both Personal support and unL¥standing ol grieving stages. 650.105 Fee: $30.00 dan 13-Feb 17 6 Wednesdays, 7: 30: 9.30 A. Franklin AGING PARENTS—COPING & CARING Adult children nead information aboul aging —- their own and their parents, They need to know about normal aging, the changes that con be expected and how thay can be handled. Knowledge gained Irom ths course will load fo imptoved sel! confidence and greatly inprove telationships with aging parents. Fee: $30.00 650.109 Jan 25-Feb 2% N.S.FSS., 303, $26 E. 181h St. 6 Mondays, 7:30-9:30 North Vancouver B. Robertson SINGLE PARENT SUPPORT 6° <4" a One parent familias — you are not arse, Fat: port and practical ideas fot coping in a cha: ng ‘stuation, Child care provided. 650.108 Fee: $2.00/session Jan 35 Queen Mary Comm. Sch., 230 W. Keith Ad. ongoing North Vancouver Kendtick/lzat NEW: PRE-MENSTRUAL SYNDROME A support group ‘for those who ate attected by the Novth Vancouver symptoms of PMS, Join us to learn ways of dealing exercise and vitamin positivety through diet, supplements. 650,419 4 Tuesdays, 7:30-9.30 M. Pickering NSFSS . 303, 126 E. 15th, Fee. $25.00 Feb 9-Mar 1Catson Granam Sec. Sch., 2145 Jones Ave. North Vancouver using exercises that the therapist recommends. But don't fet the matter slide because this condition does not go away of its own ac- cord. Real premature cjaculation is not the same as initial excitement and overenthusiasm, which often makes bridegrooms finish before dr. ruth Ruth Westheimer they have begun. That kind docs stop happening before the honcey- moon is over. If your fiance's problem persists, do find a thera- pist through a local hospital or sexuality clinic. Education about sexual matters is important in a relationship. if you want more information, | have written 2 pamphlet, How to Im- prove Your Sex Life. To obtain a copy, send $] and a stamped, self-addressed, legal-sized envelope to Dr. Ruth/How to improve your Sex Life, P.O. Box 19709, Irvine, Calif, 92713-9709. Q. What ts orsl sex? I have seen it mentioned several times and everyone seems to know what this is except me. As Tam a male senior citizen [ am ashamed to ask any one but you. A. I like it very much that you ask me! But I would like to urge peo- ple to find the big sources of in- formation fike libraries, book shops, gynecologists, urologists, marital counsellors and sex thera- pists. Of course the least expensive sources are the places where you get reliable books on sex — libraries and bookshops. What they call oral sex is Classifieds Sell 986-6222 UCATION PROG AGN Ee 1958 E borracheance ASSERTIVEXESS TRAINING taking of retuming toquesis Of frignds, isrmely Bad co workers can olten be 8 source of ansioty. Gormetimes propia ate alfied to astext thomsetes for ies that people will think they're aggresive, and sometimes People wish they had aloud ug for themnzetves more. Assertivenent taining helps you entity your ngnts, Specity your Needs and Commuricais these etlectiey ty others 650.103 Feo: $3000 Jan 16-Feu 22 Suitertand Sac Sch., 1860 Sutherland 6 Mondays, 7:30-9.30 North Vancouver COUPLES COMAIUNICATION The rewards of a caring relationstup can be fost in the frusttation of misunderstandings, i failure to wpress what you wom of in not hearing the other person correctly. With senple luis, partners can become acta sather than (eactive egents in buikhng @ retstonsnip. 650,101 J. Schneier Fee: $60.00 Jan 26-Mar t NSFSS, 303, 126 E. 15tn 6 Wwesdays, 7.10-930 Norlh Vancouver STRONG FARTLEES DON'T JUST HAPPEN Ye be strong, tamuty Is not to ba wathouy troubles. Strong familias possess six Quahtes thal help Inem deal with the challenges and crises of tarnity tile: commitment, appreciation, communication, coping abiiity, spiituat well-being and valuing lime together. This course will further devolop existing siulis in budkkng and maintaining a strong tarmily, 650,125 J. Fartis Fee. $25 00 Feb 16:Mar 8 Carson Graham Sch. 2145 Jones Ave. 4 Tuesdays, 7.30-9:30 Norin Vancouver SELF IMAGES— FOR WOMEN ‘Wornen as winnets — are they born or made? Who am 1 — in work, im friendships, in relationships, as a daughler or mother? Many women experience doubt and anxiety about who they are and what they're dang. By inspecting ihe messages we've recorved as wornen in our famiites and in society, we can appreciate and build on our strangths and develop a better sense of self-esteem, 650,130 O. Prieur Fee: $15.00 NSFSS., 303, 126 E. 15th St. Feb 6 1 Saturday, am-4pm Noxtn Vancouvet WORIEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH (Level 1) Inspired Sv the best selling book “Women who Love Too Much” “Wi Go > many women become obsessed with the wrong men — men who are emotionally unavailable, addicted to work, alconol of to olher women — Men who cannot love Inem back?” This group is for women whose felationships with men have, untit now, * been paintul and destructive. 650.136 J. Easton Fee. $30.00 Jan 2t-Fep 25 NS.FSS, Suite A-1410 Clyde Ave 6 Thursdays, 7.30-9 30 West Vancouver 1. Burns TO REGISTER BY MAIL Please mail your registration at least seven days before start of course. Indicate charge card number or enclose a cheque made payabie to “ Home Phone __. Bus. Phone Postal Code NORTH SHORE FAMILY SERVICES #303, 126 East 15th Street, North Vancouver, B.C. V7L 2P9 650.139 A Kiss NEW: HEVER FUT OFF TO TOROSROW WHAT YOU CAN PUT OFF TO MEXT WEEK Lot's eaploie the tendency to delay and poatrone, With WNC nated Under stenheg and some helptiad techniques: yOu Can be more products, finest yout prosects and them your deadinws. NO izat Fot 20 Fea $25 (inches bunch) Carson Granam Scn,, 2145 Jonen Ave. + Saturday, Qemtpm earth Vancouver ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING Sometimes prope ata atradd 10 asier! inemsetves lot fwar that penple wil think they're aggressive, and vometmes “peole wisn they had stood up for Inetngoives more Assetinoness taireng nope you AGenlify yout aghis, spewcily your Qeed and correnumcate these oltactvely to others. dA. Neat Jan 30 Fee $25 (inchiges luncn) Carson Granam Ser., 2145 Jones Ava. 1 Satutday, Sam 4p North 'tancouver MEW: WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH (Level H) Whats: Women who look Leva! 1 teft olf. A furitrer exploration of our own pattetns of behaviour. 650.138 Mar 3-Mar 24 Catson Graham Sen, 2145 Jones Ave. 4 Thutgdays, 7:30-9.30 J. Easton Fee: $25.00 Hoeth Vancouver NEW: URDERSTANDING YOUR ANGER Many people avok! expressing anger becaute they are atraxd of the consequences. Others are unable io control their angry feolings and offen regret the results. This Course wii enable people 30 ently Origins of tnew anger. how they Gaal with if and how to express their anger appropriately and wih case. Fee: $25.00 Jan 16 NSFSS., 203, 126 €. 15th $1. 1 Satuntay, Sam-tom North Vancouver & Jan 21. 28. 2 Thursdays. 730-930 Coping with tne menopause and the mid-life stage can I, be athicutt, This evening wilt focus on the emotional and enviconmantal aspect of this slage of lite. We wall show you how 19 deat with your concerns 1 a positive an supportive manner. 650.132 M. Pickering Fee: $8.00 paar & Carson Granam Sec., 2134 Jones Ave. 1 Tuesday, 7:30-9.30 Nortn Vancouver NEW: WELCOMING THE SECOND CHILD bn comparison to the first time, the arrival of your secon child will ba a unique experience with its own sets of tawaids and challenges. In Ihis course we will examine the sues concerning what a new baby wilt mean to the whole lamily -~ parents and siblings. The content will be geared toward parents who are considering, of are expecting the ain ol their secand {or sudsequent) chikd. 650.131 L. Boasen Fee. $8.00 Jan 27 Catson Granam Sec., 2145 Jones Ave. 1 Wednesday, 7 30 #30 tortn Vancouver NORTH SHORE CONTINUING EDUCATION. Do not enclose cash. Receipts witl be distributed by instructors at the tirst class. I wish to register for the following courses: Course Name Course «/School/Tescher/Day WV te _— — 2 3 ChWSA_ Mastercard _. covered in lots of books. People who like to speak precisely say it should be called oral-genital sex, because it is one person stimulating the genital nerve ends of the other with lips, tongue and/or teeth. This can be part of arousal tech- nique — foreplay. Or it can be a sexual event in itself, leading to orgasm. Or it can be after inter- course, a way of bringing someone to orgasm who has missed it dur- ing intercourse. For thousands of years this has been a sexual custom, and is part of the lovemaking of millions, of people today — but not everyone does it, not everyone wants to do. it, and some people feel that. their. traditions forbid it. It absolutely doesn’t have to be part of anyone’s sex life. You can have a_ terrific sex fife without it, fearful age it is rated as a high-risk activity if performed with anyone but a long-term, trustworthy, uninfected partner. os