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4 - Wednesday, September 18, 1985

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- North Shore News

How to stay married
in the age of divorce

THERE’S an interesting book out called Married

People:

Staying Together

in the

Age of Divorce, by Francine Klagsbrun.

For anybody wanting to
stay married, 1 recommend it
highly. Of course, if you're
not interested in staying
married, or for that matter
getting married, forget it. -

‘As a survivor of a divorce,
with absolutely no desire to
go through such an experi-
ence again, I found the book
fascinating. Not revolu-
tionary. Not even particular-
ly startling. It amounts to a
compendium of common
sense stuff, much of it fitting
into the category of thse
“obvious things’ that are so
often the hardest to see.

I should add that this
book isn’t one of those
quicky sociology bestsellers
that bites a piece out of a
topic, then spends several
hundred pages trying to flog
a single insight to death.

According to the blurb,
the writer spent no less than
-15 years interviewing mar-
ried couples from all walks
of life, including divorced
people and newlyweds as
well as marital veterans.

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rolls of in-stock wallpaper in hun

She talked to women mar-
ried to domineering hus-
bands, panty-whipped char-
acters marricd to assertive
females, men and women

“who were. virtual clones of

each other, and others who
seemed to have absolutely

nothing in common, except
that they had managed to
stay married for many years.

She also talked to people
who were into their second
marriage, as well as people
who were driven reluctantly
into marriage, due to an
unwanted pregnancy or
some kind of peer or family
pressure, and ‘others who

money
_ divisive role. Then there are

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leap into the n iptial bed
with plenty of passion but
very little thought.

We all know the various
reasons marriages fall apart.
Infidelity is high up on the
list, along with booze and
other drugs. Tragedy can of
course bring out the worst as
well as the best. Lack of
frequently plays a

niggling .items “like apathy,

of novelty. Happiness, let's
face it, can be boring.

To her credit, Klagsbrun
doesn't come to any pro-
found psychological conclu-
sion other than the one we
all knew all aiong. It turns
out — are you ready? —
marriages that work really
ARE based on trust, in-
timacy and fidelity.
~.- She: found- exceptions, to

“he sure. A prim and proper

strictly personal

by Bob Hunter

boredom, selfishness and

just plain stupidity.

Every marriage, according
to author Klagsbrun, goes
through ‘‘divorce periods’’,
when the eye gets to roving
restlessly. Domestic _ bliss,
even when it’s working
perfectly, can get to be a
drag just from the sheer lack

7

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middle-class wife, for in-
stance, who went with her
husband to frequent orgies
to satisfy his need for sexual
variety. A wimp who, when
the strong-willed wife turned.
into an alcoholic, held the
family together by sheer grit.
But for the most part —

See No

Page 5

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North Shore People

Saturday evening at the Hyatt 960 black-tie guests turned up to
@ honour Vancouver businessman, Tong Loule, as be became the 7
‘first Canadian recipient of the Variety International's Golden
Heart Award for Community Achievement following on the §
heels of former winners Nancy Reagan and Johnny Carson. &
The head table, captains of business and industry, numbered an in-
# credible 29! Leading off the evening was West Van philanthropist,
Andrew Robertson, who said Grace for the multitude. Andy and
wife, Helen, were the first people to donate to the vitally-important
Vancouver Childsens’ Limb Bank and have kept in’ close
touch with the operation. As he returned to his seat, guest speaker [i
m Peter Legge of TV Week remarked, “That was a wondertul §
Mm blessing, Andy, simple and sincere. In our home, it was the reverse. [i
a We prayed after we ate!”..... Emcee for the gala event was the Cana- ff
@ dian International Chairman, Monty Hall, famed game
f show host. It was at the international convention held at the Hotel
Vancouver that Monty was honoured with the Humanitarian &
f Award of the Year zecently at a never-to-be-forgotten evening. &
Seems the organizers wanted the presentation to the tireless and
deserving Hall to come off with as much style and pizzaz as possi-
fi ble. Bridge over the River Kwai producer, Mike J
§ Frankovich, was tabbed to oversee the affair vith assistance fom
B Monty's attractive wife, Marilyn. Actress Angle Dickinson was |
B to be the presenter with Dal Richards and his band supplying the # &f
B music. Marilyn, sitting through one of the organizational meetings, HM Ef
8 asked Dal, if during the evening, he could play Roger's and
Hart's perennial hit, ‘Where or When”. “Sure.” agreed &
m Richards, “Is it a favorite of yours?” “As a matter of fact,” sad §
@ Marilyn, “It's a very special song. Monty and I became engaged many §
years ago as that piece was being played. | always request it so that ff
no matter where we are or how busy Monty is, eventually the familiar
tune comes through and we smile at each other and remember. Con- ff
B, fidentially, | use the song as a gauge to see how my marriage is do- §
G ing.” Finally the big night arrived and after the speeches and presen-
@ tations were made, Richards, with a wink at Marilyn, struck up #
m “Where or When.” Two pairs of eyes were instantly glued onto Mon.
ty Hall, who was deeply engrossed in conversation with the luscious
8 Angie Dickinson. You guessed it - he never looked up! Oh tobe a fly
on the wall of the Hall’s hotel suite a few hours later, | can hear him J
now, “Aw, c'mon Marilyn, let's make a deal?”.........00 “
akkk
Another fun party Thursday afternoon as West Van architect, Rick
Hulbert and his crew celebrated their fourth annual Ice Cream &
Extravaganza and the news that they'd just been awarded the &
$50 million contract for the design and planning of the new Hyatt &
Hotel complex on Australia’s Gold Coast. On hand to press
the flesh and sample.some frozen delights were West Van MLA &
M John Reynolds; WV Mayor Derrick Humphreys;
m@ Lonsdale Quay boss, Eric Martin; Dep. Min. of Lands and
Housing Bob Filtton; Sahalee’s Ted McLean; Urban
Development Institute V.P. Michael Audane; longtime
Tory supporter, Jake Brouwer; Shirley Schmidt, Pres.
Canadltan Co-op Housing who was celebrating her 34th wed-
ding anniversary; and several execs of the Canadlan Home
§ Builders Association including national president, Neil Ziola
deseee Deepest sympathy to John Reynolds and his family on the §
B death of his 66-year old-dad, Douglas, who died last week in
Toronto after a year-long battle with cancer......Jncognito guest at Ff
& Gordon Chow's Internatlonal Plaza Friday and Saturday §
night was Genera! Hospital soap star, Kevin Bernhardt who §
® entertained a packed crowd of 350 at the Lynn Valley Centre
Sunday....... Welcoming Impertal Potentate Walker
Kisselburgh of Torrance, California and the man who heads §
almost one million Shriners in North America, was Gizeh §
lm Temple Potentate Ken Smith of West Vancouver. Ken and &
@ wife, Shirley, presented their illustrious visitors, Walker and wile, .
@ Neita, with Cowichan Indian sweaters at a private reception al J
Mm Burnaby'’s Gizeh Temple Sunday....Spotted handsome and
A talented Rick Honey of ‘NW dining with his family at Graham §
Abraham's busy PJ Burgers Friday. The spot made famous by
their super Academy Awards Night is doing even better with the
R introduction of their new video operation.....And congrats to the
M Hon. Jack Davis on grandchild no. 3. Jack and Margaret's §
M daughter, Marilyn, gave birth to litle Susan Lora last week in
a Toronto......And finally always remember, experience is a comb life
Mm hands you after you've lost your hairt........ Cheersl..........

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North Shore Real Estate
Market?

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Specialists...Sussex
Realty 984-9711