page 12, July 28, 1976 -

Freelance Counsellor, Hayden
Stewart does private counsel-
ling as well as a great deai of
group work. He can be
contacted at 261-6242 for
information and appointments.
Letters are always welcome.
Mail them to HAYDEN
STEWART, c/o the North
Shore News, #202-1139 Lons-
dale, North Van.

QUESTION: How do you
transfer your head know-
ledge to. your feeling know-

ledge? I’m convinced we —

human beings are all one
family, we are all a part of all
,the others. I think we are
“selves”’ only to the degree
_that we recognize that we are
part of a larger self—which is
the whole human family.
That’s what | BELIEVE, but

is not what I FEEL at all. Ido .
not feel a part of other .
people. I have a few friends
and I’ve even.had a couple of.

affairs. Those experiences
_ had their rewards but the
truth is I don’t feel at one
with anyone in the world. I
socialize quite a bit and don’t
believe anyone'.would think
of me as a “loner,” but the
trath is, that Is exactly what I
am—a, loner: Why do I, who

...another has no wish

‘QUESTION: 1am a natural
doner. I live alone. I date
very little. Mostly I keep to

‘myself during coffee breaks -

at work. I have no social life

or sex life to speak of..
BUT—I am not complaining. - ;
That’s the way I want It to °

be. My problem. . arises
‘because no one: will belleve
me. My friends keep trying
to get me to parties I don’t
want to attend, or fix up
‘dates for me that I am not
interested in keeping, or
voluntecr me _ for
committee I'm not interested
in serving. They try to get me
Interested in politics or
church or square-dancing or
Toastmasters’ Club or what-
over,

: 1 tell the truth. ['d rather

read or listen to music or —

‘write or go for walks. I'm not
& sourpuss, nor am I waging
my private war against
humanity. I really = Ilke

people, but I simply want to
be alone more than most
people do, I never go to
church, although I am quite
religious, I don’t sing or play
an instrument, although I am
' quite musical, I see myself as.”

some. A

North Shore News

QUESTION: My husband
is a real man with a lot of
drive and gumption. He’s no
jelly-fish. I like that. But can
you explain why he seems to

“be like that with everybody

except me? And why am I
bossier with him than with
anyone else? He says I’m too
aggressive and take the
initiative too much. He says
I’m like that in our business
affairs and our social life and
even in bed. He calls me the
“‘take-charge-girl”” and I
think he’s even more both-
ered by it than he lets on. He
doesn’t oppose me really, he
just sort of backs off and lets
me go ahead, but he doesn’t
like it. I don’t want to be the |
boss, so why am I like that
with him?

STEWART: When two
frightened people, not trust-
ing themselves nor each
other, are together a lot,
their relationship can be-
come most uncomfortable.
Apparently YOU cannot trust
yourself enough to take the
risk of trusting him. He
seems unable to trust himself
enough to give you ample

- reason for having faith in

him. If you were to push and

ms to be more FRUERRCHED. 2.

am convinced of our oneness,

live a life of relative
. aloneness? ee
STEWART: 1 admire. your
**head-knowledge’’. stance.

Stick with it. Your ‘discovery
of the best. ;ways*to imple-
ment your’ head-knowledge
seems slow to you, and, of
course, is hard on you, but it
is also a terrific challenge to.
you. The whole human
family is waiting for you (and

millions like “you) to move.

from your magnificent intell-
ectual © conviction
equally magnificent activa-
tion of your conviction. That
may. not cheer you, ‘but I
hope it will support you in
your struggle to become, in
flesh and blood, the warm
sharing: person. you -*‘think”’
you are intended tobe.

soniething of a “helper,”
although I don’t work

through any of the agencies. -
My feelings for people are”

warm, but I express them
best in my writing. =

can’t they be content with my’
keing the sort of person I
7°. Doh

STEWART: Perhaps they

feel you-are kidding yourself: :

about wanting so much

* solitariness and that you
. would’ be ‘better off and —
happier if (in their way of

thinking) you doined the
human family, -

Make sure you are not
talking yourself into being a
loner (because of

wise) and then pretending
you like it that way. Is there

any possibility: that you are |

shunning people because you

are untrusting or. bitter or

manipulate him less, things

. oOwn-—-and concentrate on the

-your intellectual insight. Roll

into an ~

_ fallow your chosen course as”

- well as you can. It will never
Now,, here's my’ question:

\ Why.oh why oh why, oh-why,

do people feel sorry for me_
‘and try to changé me Into °
some sort of person I am not
and don’t want to be? Why

» friends’will always keep on
trying, to rescue you ‘from

. hard to do either while: you
are fence-sitting.

the —
difficulties of being other-

would be better. Find better
ways to exercise your stren-
gth and it will be easier for
you to get off his back. You'll
never draw out HIS strength
by playing the role of
‘‘take-charge-girl.’” He is far
more apt to discover his
strength when it dawns on
him that you need him-—and
you do need him don’t you? I
am not suggesting you
should bury your own stre-
ngth or pretend you don’t
have it, but rather, you can
discover more appropriate
ways to use it that will be
beneficial to both of you.

Professional
Service at

the most
reasonabie prices

open daily for your.
convenience

Renting or Truck?
See us first.

*Most reasonable rates
on the North Shore

805 Marine N/V

Relax and be pampered
by professional hair
stylists - 2
| All'styling including cutting t
| blow drying, colouring, body
| waving
Deluxe Modern
Coiffures _

1199 Lynn Valley N/V

According to him, there
are at least three areas in
which you can start discover-
ing and practicing better
ways of using your own inner
ego-strength (ways that will
bring out his strength, rather
than burying it) and they are,
‘‘your business affairs,’’
your. ‘‘social life’? and ‘‘in
bed.’* Why not START with &
them? If you feel you need —
help in those areas, go after
it. Get the counselling you
need, but remember that in
the long run, it is in your own
hands.

Sports & imports Specialists
—complete collision & frame repairs
—Factory match painting

—ICBC Authorized Repairs

980-4310 164 Pemberton N/V 987-4221

KUSTOM

OFF-ROAD
SPECIALISTS
*Complete off road
preparation
*Big Super

Bars
“Skid Plates,
Wheels & Tires.

Specializing
*Cleaning—Reparing
Recovering
“Heaters—Gas Tanks
Repaired

DRIVE-IN SERVICE _
North Shere Radiator |
Co. Lid.

‘ff 320E Ezplanade N/V

Volkawagen & 4
wheel drive acc-
essories

1161 West 15th N/V
988-5311
988-7224.

~ RULES
YOU AND MEMBERS OF YOUR FAMILY COULD WIN A DAYS ENTERTAINMENT
FREE AT THIS YEARS PNE. SIMPLY READ ALL THE ADS AND FIND THE ANSWER ©
TO THE WEEKLY QUESTION PROVIDED. DAYS ENTERTAINMENT INCLUDES

“Free rides for the kids ‘Free parking ee
y _. "Free ground entry *Free meal for the family - F
*Free Passes to the show Spectacular oak) |
Just Clip. out the ad that has the correct answer and send:in care of the PNE Editor, North
Shore News POST OFFICE BOX 952 NORTH VANCOUVER

Roll
980-6916

- Take your- conviction for
granted—accept it as your

maturing dnd fulfilling of
your personality, your emo-
tions, your temperat fad
You might very wel vind

them steadily and. ‘surely |
becoming more at one ‘with &

up your sleeves, take a big
breath and begin ‘‘practic-

WEEK #1. WHAT WAS THE ATTENDANCE AT THE 1975 P.N.E: FAIR?
ing” the business of being

warm and giving and accept- © | eel | H On the North
ing of others. I would love Wh | Alignment Shore consider
chatting with you about ways that’s our business Renzo for the
at are open to your for this : .

exciting and profound exper- “Front End Parts finest In mens
ience. But please—don't just *Complete - wear .
think jen it. Start doing it. Accessories *Most reasonable
‘today

*Shock Absorbers etc. prices around

Forecast: Sunnier and- 4 Lonsdale Wheel Alignment | Men’s Wear
warmer. | Westlynn Mall N/V
224 E. Esplanade, N.V. 980-2117 1,287,201 987-2442 aun)

On the North Shore visit
Terry Higgins your Sport &
Import Automobile Repair
“ Specialists

Auto Repairs at reasonable
ratés

¥ Aintree Carriage Lid.

2505 Marine, N. Van 7

.Lonsdale |
Chevron . Service
Hours: 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. Mon.
10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sun.
® Tuneups ©.
¢ Transmissions
» Brakes.
‘e Electrical Service
. * Exhaust Systems
¢ Complete Maintenance Service

Mechanic on duty
A 2030 Lonsdale [at Queens) N.V.

to change

‘afraid or self-absorbed? If §
you can tell yourself, with 9
integrity, that none of. those «fj.
is your reason for being a ~.

loner, then by all) means

Prices to sult
your pocket book

Northlon Service Lid.

1479 Clyde Ave W/V 022-4444

‘be easy for‘you because your

026-201 0

yourself, You must learn‘how ,
to handle them. They may be =f)
well-meaning, but they, are

busy-bodies.

See our complete supply of
*Plano Course Books
. *R.C.M. Course Books

*Popular Music Books. |
*Guitar & Lessons

North Shore Music.
Ltd. . 088-8441

‘Export Auiomobile Painting

Dust Froo~Factory:
Matched Painting

Your, hope lies in: being a
more ‘committedly a ‘loner’ :
(and for reasons that ‘deeply.
please you) or in being more
commitedly involved as a
member of the human family
(again, for reasons that leave
your integrity intact): It is

088-6787 | 1923 Lonsdale

By the way—has: it ‘ever
occurred to you that almost
everything . worthwhile: that
has ever happened in’ the
long story of man has lid its

Complete Frame
steering and wheal
n _Mlanment service

“ Unicutters [+

START in the spirits and “north van. | west van. 7 Ge ab Pp i Ce a t OoK
inds of people who! tr A oA
had. “reanings, * simile to 980-9611 926-7555 Q

or

re

yours. K's a thought.”

fro ote bb baeek dpe

Pt eminem mmm mAR FOF to

Ceererect ant i eee ce ee ee