No stopping t

By Steve Burgess
Contributing Writer

THEREP’S no predict-
ing how the season will
turn out.

Some years, we ger off
easy, and sometimes it comes
down on us non-stop. This
year seems to be particularly
bad -— a constant downpour
of warm, wonderful holiday
advertising. So, I took refuge
by channel-hopping over to
PBS, and an episode of
Agatha Christie’s Hercule
Poirer. If it wasn’t for mur-
derers and jewel thieves, we
would get no break from the
Yuletide wishes of Wal-Mart.

“Poirot was investigating,

the case of a stolen necklace.

. He solved it, in part, by spot-
ting a chalk smear on some

~ guy’s arm (ah, the tell-tale

» chalk smear; it naiis more
crooks than Crime“toppers).
» Chalk, Poirot explained as

. his moustache twitched fetch-
ingly, is used by French cabi-
net makers to help drawers
run smoothly, and so when
the. thief opened the drawer |
to steal the necklace ... The

culprit confessed on the spot.

“You got me, Poirot,” he

id. “This here chalk is a
dead giveaway,” or words to
that. effect: .

Earlier, I'd seen a report

"O.J. Simpson’s testimony

Editor:
-e city is not an appropriate venue

By

Mainland “is ‘already :30 ‘badly -
Huted by. automobiles: that -

cannot. afford to’ stress. it

tter-to the editor). A .

| HEAVY | HEAVY |
-PLUSH. BERBER}

: a
at his civil trial. No one
mentioned chalk. Being an
investigator, Poirot never
had to deal with a jury made
up of 12 credulous chuckle-
heads who could igaure an
entire Ford Bronco full of
chalk, or a line of chalk
leading from the crime scene
to O.J.’s bedroom, or a 20-
foot tall chalkboard -
inscribed, “I killed my wife,
you morons,” in Simpson’s
andwriting.
IT wondered how Poirot

* would have handled the

Simpson case.

“You see, Monsicur, it was
the leetle details that reveaied
the truth. The fact that you,
Mr. Seempson, were tracking
other people’s blood around
like a cockroach at a meat
counter, and had previously
threatened and beaten the

victim, and have lied as

he Moe Show

though vou were about to
bring in the B.C. budget,
made my leetle grey cells
begin to throb. I believe the
killer was ... CNN host Larry
King!” It’s never who you
think it is on these mystery
shows.

Which is probabiy what
Moe Sihota is counting on.
Moe is being attacked once
again, this time for appoint-
ing Herb Dhaliwal 10 the
B.C. Hydro board in 1991,
without disclosing that
Dhaliwal had previously guar-
anteed a $305,000 loan to
Sihota.

Sihora’s DNA has been
found at political crime
scenes in this province for
years, but he keeps coming
back, like mildew.

This time, the RCMP is
investigating. They stress that
it is nor yet a criminal investi-
gation, which is a crucial
point that must be made, in
order to prevent Moe from
taking hostages down at the
post office.

As it is, Sihota has inerely
threatened to sue anyone
who so much as snickers at
his haircut. (He’s begun by
serving papers on Liberal
MLA Mike de Jong.)

As an experienced scrap-
per, Moe knows offence.
Given the choice between a
dignified “no commen:,” and
a cruise missile launch against

the Liberal benches, it’s no
contest,

Between the Dhaliwal case
on one side, and criticism
over his daughter’s enrolment
in a private school on the
other, Sihota has behaved like
Contederate General Nathan
Redford Forrest.

Once, when Forrest was
ambushed on two sides in a
bartle, he instructed his caval-
ry to split up and charge in
both directions.

OF course. the glorious
Confederacy ended up ger-
ng its glorious butr kicked.
Could the nine lives of Moe
S. the Cat be up? He’s
already had to Jeave cabiner
once.

Bur conflict-cf-interest
commissioner Hercule (Ted)
Hughes wiped some chalk
trom Moe's sleeve this week.
Hughes ruled that, according
to the regulations in place in
1991, Sihota acted properly.
It’s just like TV, where things
Never turn out the way vou
expect. The Moe Show is not
duc for cancellation yet.

— The North Shore News
believes strongly in freedom of
speech and the right of ail
Sides in @ debate to be heard.
The columnists published in
the News present differing
points of view, but those views
are not necessarily those of the
newspaper itself.

NT ITE CE COROT OMA ATS B19 Hem TAAM RANA RRA RUN AWC HLA ay ONT POR “VE EL PFONE TUNG Oia HUT cea a We donne

_even further with unnecessary

novelty fires.

In fact, there aren’t_ many
built-up areas where wood
burning is still welcome.

However, even though our
local’ government has rot, as
yet, outlawed the practice,

wood-burners should be aware:
that this does not absolve them

OFF

from individual responsibility
under the law. If smoke from
your fire is making a neighbor
sick, he may seck relief through
the courts.

In Etobicoke recently, the
parents of a young asthmatic
girl were awarded damages
after they successfully argued
that their daughter’s pre-exist-

No PST!

Zemnants to cheose:from

“FREE PAD =
FREE LABOUR

7 SUPER) -
HINESE RUG
ai

Be

here there’s smoke there’s ire

ing medical condition had been
made worse by the smoke from
a neighbor’s fire.

Barbara Cook -

North Vancouver

| 925-5545 (24 HRS)

Sunday, December 8, 1996 — North Shore News — 9

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