38 - Wednesday, March 14,

1990 - North Shore News

Offer kids alternative
to hanging out in mall

Q. | AM constantly being startled by how the 20th century

catches up with me. For instance,
twice and have two sets of kids.

Now I have a good marriage
and some other guy’s kids. My
present wife and I moved to a
small community where things are
pleasantly out of date: for in-
stance, no malls where the kids
hang out and learn (o get pregnant
sand use drugs,

Now a developer has moved in

Dr. Ruth
Dr. Ruth Westheimer

on some farmland, and 4 big mall
is going up. Kids who don’t know
anything else know that they are
going to hang out there, and my
so-far innocent stepdaughter can’t
wait for them to roof the place
over and move in the jeans mart
and the tapes corral.

How do I talk to my wife and
her kids about the problems this
invasion is going to bring into our
lives?

A. The malls don’t make all the
trouble in family life in the present
era,

Malls are just a convenient way

I have been divorced

to shop. When young people hang
out in them, the reason is that
nothing else is around for them to
do — sucit as home-centered gath-
erings of people young and old,
talk around the dinner tables,
school activities that take in all the
students, church or temple go-
ings-on, people taking genuine in-
terest in school and homework,
and teaching about such realities as
sex and careers and values.

I feel for you with your two
ex-wives and two sets of distant
kids and all it costs you, but it isn't
just a matter of talking to your
new family to make them safe
from the mall.

You have to spend time and no
doubt some money to give those
lively and avid young minds and
bodies more constructive things to
do than hanging out.

I would not rule out talking to
your wife about limiting the time
her children can spend hanging
out, but unless you have something
to offer them as an alternative,
they will undoubtedly spend most
of their after-school time looking
for mistakes to make instead of
learning good things.

Q. Is it true that older men can
keep an erection longer (han young
fellows? And if so, where do I
learn how to do this?

A. Some older men who have
kept their interest in lovemaking
alive do have a remarkable ability
to achieve and maintain erections.

But this is not a universal ability
among grandpas and not every
male senior citizen is so lucky.
There are illnesses that limit the
ability to make love.

The sexually literate man is more
likely to find this blessing in his
golden years than the one who
thinks it will! happen automatical-

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