4 - Friday, February 22, 1985 - North Shore News

Joe Clark, astronaut

a bit

become the first Canuck in space.

But, gee, he ‘twasn’t sure’’
if he} could make out the
lights § f Kingston when the
city flicked them on and off
in a greeting, he didn’t suc-
ceed in barfing, which is what
he was up there to do, and
worst ofall, he didn’t have a
religious experience.

What * 3 waste! I would »

have done‘all of the above.

Still, Ghrneau’s involve-
ment in the U.S. space pro-
gram gave, me a terrific idea,
although, ‘actually, it'was the
news that the. Americans are
sending a senator into space
that really gave the idea the
extra dimension that makes
some notions great.

‘First, it would be nice if :

District.

By JOANNE MacDONALD

A MOTION calling for the
reinstatement of the right of
the District of North Van-
couver’s. municipal

Mianagement. to :handle. the -.: .:.
hiring. of regular, :new. or?“
replacement -. ;
defeated iifter heated debate

staff "was.

Canada could sent its entire
Senate into space. Now that
there is a plan afoot to send
people's ashes into orbit, it
makes perfect sense to Jaunch
the Upper Chamber to the
high frontier. Of course,
we'd have to cremate them,
but most of them are close
enough to being ready for
cremation anyway.

I can just see it: a coffee
thermos-sized capsule in or-
bit around the Earth for 63

_ million years, with the words

emblazoned on the side: THE
CANADIAN’ SENATE,
R:LP.° Maybe with some
suitable epitaph, like: THE
LAW IS AN ASH.

But I digress. What we

retains

tion on the grounds -that -

council. had been elected to
closely watch the hiring
‘policies of the District.

arc Garneau was of a dis-
appointment. I mean, obviously he had
the Right Stuff or he wouldn’t have

should do is send Joe’ Clark
into space!

For openers, “he’s the
Minister of External Affairs.
Outer space is his natural do-
main. He wouldn't have to
worry about moving em-
bassies around because there
aren't any yet. There’d be no
problem of bumping into
anybody’s bayonet because
they don’t use bayonets up in
space, they use laser beams.

As a politician, his com-
pulsive urge to shake hands
could be accommodated by
introducing him to the
Canadarm.

If he wanted to ask about
the totality of anybody's
acreage, I’m sure the kind of
folks he'd run into up there
would understand him
perfectly. They ail talk kinda
funny anyway.

Joe’s the right age. He's in
good physical shape. He likes

hiring

Mary Segal, meanwhile,

said she agreed with the in-
tent of the motion, saying
Manager aiid

the District

and by a four ..to two’ vote
Monday by’ District Council:
The motion’ was ‘an effort

by Ald. Ernie Crist to, res- '<
cind a ‘council resolution’ of ...

Decembér, $983, which’

‘stated. no_ hiring of recular, 2

new or replacement staff wa:
‘to be underaken without. the
approval of. council. :

Crist said his intent-was to -. |
Teturn to maiaagement the» :.

ability to-Hire employees ‘at
all times throughout the year
without . council... approval,
except. during the months —

usually‘ January to May — in s
which council operates under.

a provisional budget.

~ Ald. . Murray. -Dykeman, g.

Craig Clark, .Joan- Gadsby. §
and Mayor Marilyn -Baker

‘voted ,against’.the motion,
“with: Ald i
"Segal in

Gadsby said she ° did not. |

feel the current’ policy sub-
tracted from. the efficiency
and business-like operation
of both staff and council.

She called council, ‘‘the
ultimate Management,” of
the District, saying since

about 50 per cent, of ; the ;

District’s.. ‘budget goes
toward salaries that “it is
too big: an amount to be
dealt with at the staff level.”’

Clark protested the mo-

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to travel. Maureen wouldn't
be able to come along,. but,
heck, a man's gotta do what
he’s gotta do, ch?

The reason, of course, that
Joe comes to mind as the
logical choice of the next
Canadian in space is because
of his recent comments that
there is no way, ever, under
~-the sun, cross our hearts and
hope to die, that Canadians
would soil themselves by hav-
ing anything whatsoever to
do with Ronald Reagan’s bad
old Star Wars scheme.

’ That’s all very. wonderful,

and it casts Joe as Luke
Skywalker in contrast to
Reagan's Darth Vader,except
that, um, I’m not quite sure
what bearing it has, if any,
on reality.

There is alreacy talk
among the Tories of setting
up nuclear-powered batteries
in the Arctic to keep a new
generation of DEW Line sta-
tions in operation. What with
the Yanks being deeply in-
volved in that—so far,
they’ve paid for the entire
operation—plus our intimate
involvement in NORAD, I
really don’t see how Canada
is going to lose its virginity by
turning up its nose at a space-
based missile defence system.

i

power

others at the management
level on staff were compe-
tent enough to handle hiring
of employees.

VISA

If Joe was really miffed at
the thought of Canadian
moral purity being rendered
degenerate by any sort of
dalliance with Yankee
militarism, I would expect
him to order the Canadarin
dismantled and shipped
home, since it was only last
month that the Americans us-
ed it on a supposedly secret
military mission in space.

Likewise, Marc Garneau’s
studies of space-sickness, in-
complete as they were, can
easily be interpreted as giving

oo oe |

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aid and succer to the mad-
dog strategists in the Pen-
tagon. No, Marc, don’t stick
your finger in your throat!
It'll only encourage them!

Maybe what Joe needs is a
bit of perspective. Or a holi-
day. Either way, a trip into
orbit would give him a
chance to see where all these
various countries he’s now
responsible for interfacing
with actually are.

Also, on the space shuttle,

there’s no way he could lose

his luggage.

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