QUESTION: For almost two years now I have been as close to real hate as you can get. The circumstances that produced the feelings J have and the ways in which they have kept alive and even grown stronger do not really matter for now because what rd like vou to discuss is how I can go about getting free of any hatred. - never been so helpless and consumed by my feelings as I have been since I got se thoroughly screwed and cheated and hurt two years back. I have considered suing. ['ve pondered about getting revenge, or punishing. I have thought of how to promote a wave of slander against this person. ask hayden stewart freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242 jorappointments for individual. family or group counselling not to hate known that I was way off the track. [ve just sort of “known” that there was a better way. So, my question is, how do I go about shifting my direction in a complete U Turn so fm not hateful? | really don’t like it. What do you suggest as a programme of change? Perhaps nothing will help much because ['m to be md of your hate will probably take a while to mature. in the meanwhile, as you say, the hate will be getting stronger and your eventual liberation from it will be more difficult. However, it’s extremely important not to PRETEND you want to quit hating, while you know full well that you are stil hateful. So start where you are. It’s too soon for you to say, with integrity, “Il want to stop hating”. So go along with your reahty. Do you think the first step for you will be to WANT to want to rid yourself of hate? Hang out with that idea a bit. If you can start there, here are four steps for your ex- ploration. 1. Want to want to be free of hate. 2. Want to be free of hate. I have always been one to have strong -feelings, both good and bad, but I have QUESTION: I am 17 years old (female). My problem is I'm having a terrible time at home. My mother has remarried and | don't get along very well with her husband. I was having troubles before she married, too, but now it's worse. I've been planning to leave home but made up my mind not to do it until next spring or summer when I finish school and get together some money. fve got a part dme job that helps a little but ['m not really getting ahead very mach. Things are so bad at home | don't see how I can possibly hang in there until summer. | want to leave a lot sooner than that. But if I do, I can't see how I would manage, or where | Tve really been very very hateful. But all the time I have been entertaining these kinds of revengetel thoughts, I have somehow would live. Pve got a boy- friend who wants me to go with him, but frankly he's wimpish to say the least and 1 see no future there. I am really in a gross scene and I've got to do something. | couldn't possibly last out und summer. What tn teil can I do? STEWART: Your original plan sounds wise to me. | have a feeling you'd better stick with it. These are extra tough times to be on your own without money. It would be very hard on you to find tt necessary to go back home agam, especially if you had left home against your mother’s advice or without her approval. It would be equally rough on you to go live with your boyfmend when that ts not what you OLID OAK FACTORY A End Table S149 SAVE $820 3 Colles Table S169 SAVE $30 € Sota Table S179 SAVE S40 Phony cane yu pereounpoteage Susmdlrecetye 2O% OUP total porae’ Seale fr stoke tolaa daa ae chk che entbeadabe nei oe ate Veetot woes wobaggdacdy Lesggbeae gaa tae SOLID OAK FACTORY (anqpuiltiany an nate ‘ Nb wpe cee 2 , Hic honomnd bere she. aro 7706 tian not all sure I want to quit hating. — STEWART: Good thinking: Hf you don't WANT to quit hating, your niggling desire out of a gross wanttodoat aH. The six months you onginally planned on must seem like a century to you, but they will go more quickly than you expect if you use the time to prepare for a graceful and planned home- leaving atthe righttime. | You would be smart to get some counselling on how to handle the next six months well. You need help in living as well as you possibly can 3. Choose to be free of hate. 4. Accept the gift of your freedom from hate. Obdviousty, I have shared with you a blatantly over- a while you are still at home and you need help in preparing for your new life. It would be extremely valuable for you to get help on how to leave home without some sort of battle with your folks. Leaving home is not something to screw up. Do it well! (And in YOUR case, I think 1t would be smart to do tt at the Gme you've planned on.) PRE-SPRING CARPET SALE 30” - 60” off NYLON SAXONY $95 [TOA 50 yd. 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But don't let that encourage you to turn away from it. As you explore each of the four steps you will experience a yourself of your hatred. GO! Is Your Electrolysis up to PAAR? If you have unwanted hair we can get to the root of it. Call today for your FREE consultation and com- plimentary treatment... PAAR ELECTROLYSIS NORTH VAN. VANCOUVER 988-2404 _ __ 688-6526 growing power to do what you deeply want to do - nd On your mark. Get set. 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