TIMES ARE CHANGING QUESTION: I assume from your picture that you are a senior citizen. As such, I would like to get your reaction to an opinion I have about the attitude of young people these days in regard to older people. I am disappointed to note that young people are not showing the. respect for the elderly that they used to show. They don't seem to give any more consideration to the older person than they do to the middle aged, or young. I think that is too bad. How do you feel about it? Have you noticed a lessening of respect for senior citizens on the part of the young people? STEWART: We are in the midst of a tremendous’ period of change in sO many areas of human interest. It is difficult for all the age groups to feel sure of how to behave with each other and how to respond to the changes that have caught us up in a very fast moving time of tran- sformation. I have the feeling that young people are showing less respect to older people, AS OLDER PEOPLE, than they used to, just as they are showing less respect for teachers, politicians, parents, policemen, ministers, coaches, referees and you name it. Their apparent lack of respect seems to me, however, to relate to the authoritive Positions those persons hold, rather than to the persons themselves. Perhaps I am getang less respect in 1982, as a senior citizen, than I would have received as a senior citizen 20 or 30 years ago. But the good news is that I am _ getting more respect AS A PERSON, now, than I would have received, from young people 20 or 30 years ago. If I seem to be splitting hairs, I want you to know that I think the hairs I am splitting are in great need of being split! It is not all bad, believe me, when young people are smart enough and sensitive enough to respect ME, as a person, more than _ they respect my particular ask hayden stewart Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242 for appointments for individual, family or group counselling. The cruelest of violence QUESTION: I think one of the cruelest and deadliest kind of violence fs not usually thought of as violence at all. It's the kind of violence in which the boss, or the rich guy, or the con man, or whoever, manage to scheme out a way of putting a person in a _ position of being obligated. You are in an awful position when you owe someone something and you suddenly discover that is what he wanted all the time. He didn't help you out to be decent but to put you in a position of being beholden to him. He doesn’t even want the money back sometimes, he just wants to have you ander his thumb. He just wants to have the upper hand and control you. It's like he is saying, “You owe me one boy, so keep in line”. That's one of the worst kinds of violence I think. Do you agree? STEWART: I quite agree with you that the kind of performance you speak of may quite properly be called violence. And a powerful kind of violence it is too. However, you may be blinded enough by what's going on to miss seeing that the other guy cannot make you feel obligated and beholden and under the thumb. You are the only one that can do that to you. True, if you owe a valid debt, you are “obligated” to pay it, but you are NOT obligated to feel subservient But not lonely QUESTION: 1 sometimes like being alone, by choice, but I don't ever like being lonely. Have you anything hopeful to say to people who tend to be loners, but who really don't like ie? STEWART: Some of us, in practice. tend to be social beings to a far greater extent than others do, and that’s the way itis and will be However, it seems to me that by nature we are basically social and need and enjoy each other. That ts the hopeful thing | have to say. As a human being. it is natural for you to relate and interralate. Perhaps you find it difficult, but I feel certain you can learn to work out the balance that is enjoyable and useful to you. Liking to be alone is perfectly OK. Being lonely 1s a heaviness of its own kind. You can find a balance that 1s just mght for you “Be the change you want to see happen” Respect) your true nature and you will not suffer from loneliness. west @ust Woman or under control. There is a vast difference between feeling grateful to someone who has helped you out and feeling obligated to them for doing it. You may quite properly and warmly express your thankfulness, but that need not every include putting yourself under someone's thumb. ‘ someone _ else’s Goose Down Specials 100% Cotton Cover Channeled Construction C7 - Wednesday, April 21, 1982 - North Shore News “status”. Right? On my birthday, a bunch of young people pretended (with a candled cake in their hands) that they were going to sing to me, “Happy Birthday to you”, but what they actually sang was, ‘““The hat ever happened to respect? old gray stud, he ain't what he used to be, many long years ago”. Great! 20 years ago they'd have got in wrong for it. In 1982, I was delighted by it. The times they are a-changing - thank goodness. Hair Removal Ltd. / IS PROUD TO ANNOUNCE... FROOGH HAGHJOU European Trained, 10 years experience, B.C. Licensed Electrotysist. 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