34 - Sunday, June 9, 1991 - North Shore News prea RC Waitress overheard comments DEAR MISS MANNERS — During the salad course, when my boyfriend Steve and [ were out to dinner at a fine restaurant, we got into a heated discussion of a per- sonal nature. We finished the salad before we finished the discussion, and a waitress came over to clear our plates. My boyfriend, who was in the middle of making an impor- tant but embarrassing point, con- tinued to talk as she piled our plates on top of one another and dusted off the table. it seemed to me (that she lingerec over the lat- ter because she didn’( want to niiss the last part of his point. 1 tried to signal him under the table, via a tap of my shoe on his foot, to pause for a moment be- fore delivering his verba) biow, but to no avail. The waitress freard all before retiring (to the kitchen to bring us our second course. When she returned, we were in a full-blown argument about the proper course of actioa when an intimate discussion may be overheard by @ person serving a meal, ¥ said it is to pause discreetly, wait until the plate is set duwn and the waitress has retired to a proper distance, and then continue with the conversation. He said that this interrupts the flow of the conversation and that ene should act as if no one were hovering around the table. He also said that since the person serving us is a complete stranger, it should not matter whether she overhears part of a conversalion. GENTLE READER — The waitress was stacking the plates on top of one another? Miss Manners suggests you change restaurants. It is not only her shock at the table-clearing procedure that Baer FISHING VESTS Reg. $66.93 W. PEE ; HOT sacs SON Judith MISS MANNERS promots her to say this. You may be sure that the waitress, who takes night classes with your former beau, repeated your argu- ment to the cook, whose cousin is @ roommate of your next-door neighbor. (Miss Manners doesn’t know the restaurant or the people involved; she just knows that it is a Jaw of nature that ‘‘complete strangers’’ never are.) The story, complete with imita- tions of your facial expressions, is even now proceeding along those and connecting chains, to the satisfaction and amusement of everyone. This is one reason why Miss Manners supporis your posi- tion on the matter. Another has to do with the myth of the robot servant, which is what Steve really means when he says the waitress was a strang- er. It is not necessary to subscribe ta the Hi-!'m-Your-Waitress charade to reject the snobbish no- tion that anyone doing service tasks doesn’t hear or understand what the gentry say. Miss Manners suggests you get Steve one of the rollicking 18th- century novels in which servants make an excellent side living sell- ing information. DEAR MISS MANNERS — My son is getting married in another part of the country. The bride and her mother are bubbling with excitement over the fancy wedding reception they are stag- tng. They were so determined to hold it at a particular site that the wedding date was delayed by two months. f don’t care for ostentatious wedding-day arrangements. Ces- tainty | will not stand in a receiv- ing tine. Nor will 1 allow my pic- ture to be taken. (Edo not like the way I photograph lately; recently I had my silhouette done, rather than submitting to the embar- rassment of another picture.) Obviously I am going to make someone very angry if I hold to my principies at the reception. Thas { am thirking of just going to the wedding and not to the party afterward. Which do you think would be less offensive to the bride and her mother — attending the reception in a wuy I can tolerate, or skip- ping it altogether? If t cdo attend, F will not make any negative remarks, but neither will I pretend enthusiasm for any- thing I don’t like. My husband, on the other hand, will jovially go through the motions at the recep- tion, and then come home and See Sense page 35 “FOLDING” PADDED BOAT SEAT * Swivel base plate Reg. $78.09 sate °O9!" “ELECTRIC” No. 250 ROOMASTER SMOKER Smokes up to 40 ibs. Reg. $106.97 Fly rod and reel “‘combo"’, 8% foot #5/6 Micra fly rod. \ black graphite fly reet Reg. $90.96 “COMBO” Get the Hot Shot “FREE” — Included in package Adjustable Rod Holder HONDA CIVIC $8595 AAS TAIN Stree eS 725 MARINE, N. In our continuing effort to improve our CUSTOMER SATISFACTION, we would like you to Join us in a FREE workshop on General Auto Maintenance. We will have on hand our resident expert. 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