SOMETIMES I feel like reguiyitating a story, and today is one of those days. It allows more time for drinking, if drinking hasn’t become a bad word already. Which | fear it has. Long ago, when I was working as a no account editor for another newspaper, 1 got a snake by the tail, which is to say I had a snake tale the like of which had never been told before. For this story concerned the venomous one-eyed trouser snuke. , EEE Ta Doug Collins @ get this straight ® when Worrell started his hazar- dous occupation, Australia had an antidote only for the tiger snake. Now, thanks to him, it has antidotes for practically anything. But not for the venom of the deadly one-eyed trouser snake. At that point in the story there ee ab At “Our Australian snake hero, beside whom Crocodile Dundee is a wimp, if you ask me, insisted that members of his staff take at least 30 minutes off after milking 30 of the dear things.’’ Datelined Melbourne, the copy came in on the Canadian Press wire and introduced us to the in- trepid Dennis Worrell, who “*prefers one in the hand to two in the bush’’ and had been milking | venomous snakes since 1950. Worrell, we were informed straightfaced, owned the Australian Reptile Park north of Sydney, visited annually by 250,000 people who came to sec dangerous species of the snake world. The story didn’t say so, but it was quite clear that Gosford was “the snake capital of the world, easily beating newspaper offices and similar centres of research in the production of socially useful poison, Worrell’s reptiles, we read, in- cluded native varieties like the deadly taipan, the tiger, the death adder, and brown, black and cop- perhead snakes. There were also imports like the cobra, the rat- tlesnake and the mamba. We scanned on, to learm that was a strange hiatus, and we were not told why Worrell failed in this, his greatest challenge. We were not even told what research he was up to on that snake. All the story said was that the incredible Worrell’s wife was working for him on a special project. Would there be a breakthrough? The story didn’t say. We didn’t even learn whether ’ the deadly one-eyed trouser snake is peculiar to Australia or whether it is ‘to be found elsewhere. In B.C., for instance. Instead, the anonymous writer, who had leapt into the wire story uninvited, returned to more mun- dane things. Such as the fact that it takes the milk from 10 taipans, 50 tiger snakes, or 500 brown snakes to produce a single gram of dried venom, and that Worrell’s record for snake-milking was about 10,000 in one year, while his best effort over a 24-hour period was 600. ; Damn ail that, i told myself. NEW YEAR'S Restaurant Spend as iittle or as much as you like _Fine A La Carte Dining <4 Tel. 987-7222 127 Lonsdale, N.V. § Open Boxing Day for Brunch Complimentary Champagne at 12:00 midnight Party room for 50 available | Classifieds Sell "986-6222 Who cares, when that other in- teresting snake is loose? It could have been, I thought, that the reporter who covered this story wasn’t used to the big time, and didn’t realize what he had on his hands. He did give us the fascinating news, though, that no one should attempt to milk as many as 600 snakes in one day. It’s too risky. That’s what Worrell was quoted as saying, anyway, and he was ina position to know. Even he was frequently at the end of his tether, he said. ! Our Australian snake hero, beside whom Crocodile Dundee is a wimp, if you ask me, insisted that members of his staff take at least 30 minutes off after milking 30 of the dear things. Whether that included work on the deadliest one of all was not stated. This scoop originally appeared in The Province newspaper under the headline MILKING SNAKES IS A VENOMOUS BUSINESS. What happened, it seemed, was that some unsung genius had been practising on the then new com- puters and ‘‘horned in,"’ if | may use that expression, on this snake story. Having exercised his talent by making the happy inserts, he pushed the button that sent stories to the computer’s ‘‘kill’’ cue. But the computer wasn’t listening and sent it to ‘‘compose.’’ It was found there by a desk man who didn’t do a lot of reading and wanted something of exactly that size for the science page. In it went, It was a real scoop, and but for my eagle eye no one would ever have noticed it. Who reads science pages, after all, except kids and professors? Rut it gave me a col- umn, and seeing that it’s Christmas I’m giving it to you. Re rere S84 ay REELS fA) ih Rear LE. eed - 67) 4a 9 — Wednesday, December 23, 1987 - North Shore News FEDERAL LOAN and builds housing A FIVE-unit family housing development will be built by the Burrard Indian Band with federal government help. The announcement was made recently by Chuck Cook, MP for North Vancouver-Burnaby, on behalf of the Honorable Stewart McInnes, minister responsible for Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation. A portion of the capital cost, $298,000, is being met with a 25- year mortgage loan from Morguard Trust Company. This loan has been insured by CMHC, the federal housing agency, under the National Housing Act. AIRPORT PARKING Federal assistance will take the form of 4 maximum annual sub- sidy of $27,325, which will reduce the mortgage interest rate to as low as two per cent. This assistance is extended to keep occupancy charges affordable for the residents. The Burrard Indian Band is located in North Vancouver. The project will consist of 4 three- bedroom and | four-bedroom single-family units. “By funding this family hous- ing, the federal government is con- tinuing its efforts to help Cana- dians solve their housing pro- blems,’’ Cook said. PARK & FLY $ 4450 per day 8311 Sea Island Way, Richmond BC. (next to Segal Furniture) Express Shuttle — 24 hrs., 7 days 500 CAI Bonus Points for 3 days parking 278-8311 WHEN IT COMES TO THE CRUNCH if you've been injured in an accident, you may be entitled to compensation for out-of-pocket expenses, lost income and pain. If so, call Patricia Armstrong or Howard Bradbrooke, our personal injury claims team. They're experienced at providing valuable counsel and representing your best interests. What's more, they'll work tor a fair and reascnable fee; either an hourly rate or on a percentage basis. For a free consultation on these and other legal matters, call us at 980-8571. BRADBROOKE CRAWFORD & GREEN Andy, Mark, David Dustan, Cal Campbell, Denis Chapman, Bill Ozzard, Gary. * ALLOY.WHEELS. NAIL Kelly Tires