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Don’t monkey around with
good pickle or relish recipe

Barbara
WicCreadie

FEW OF us have the time or
the inspiration to can and
pickle vast quantities of sum-
mer produce.

When I was raising small kids, I
‘was at home most of the time and
did a fair bit of canning. It seemed
that no matter how much I did or
how [rationed it, there was never
enough.

My mother did quite a bit when
I was growing up, even though she
worked full-time. My dad pitched
in, although his help was question-
able — he couldn’t be bothered to
wait for juice to seep naturally
through a jetly bag so gave it a
good squeeze any time he figured
Mom wasn't looking.

For those who have never made
jelly, it has to drip naturally or it
turns cut cloudy. We ate a lot of
cloudy jelly, but I never liked it
much anyway. It was mostly
crabapple!

Canning cupboards exist in a
few older homes but are usually.
tumed into wine cellars. My oldest
friend, Olive, had one and she filled
it every year with hundreds of jars
of preserves and pickles.

And, that brings me to the story
of Olive and the monkey.

Olives’ mother was, well. differ-
ent. One day she appeared at the
door, knowing Olive was out. and
gave the kids a monkey. A real, live
Woiley Monkey.

How do you teil your kids that
you'd like to wring their grand-
mother’s neck? Olive’s husband,
Tom, patiently built a monkey cage
in their basement to confine the fit-
ue rotter when he wasn’t out play-
ing with the kids.

He grew quite big, about the
size of your average one-year-old,
only this baby had a long tail that

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he swung by, four hands for grab-
bing things and wore diapers with
holes cut for his tail.

The monkey's cage was quite
near Olive’s canning cupboard.
Both doors had strong, monkey-
proof latches — or so they thought.

By Sate fall, the hundreds of jars
were neatly lined up. With latches
firmly in place. the family went out.

Monkeys don’t like pickles.
Monkeys love jam. Monkeys don't
like canned vegetables. but they
love canned fruit. How does a mon-
key tell the difference’? Why, he
drops the jars from a height.

This monkey tested most of the
jars, T didn’t see the mess. The kids
ran down the street and told me,
“Don't go. near mom. She’s having
a fit!” 1 guess.

The monkey tived on for quile a
while after that incidem. I really
think Olive loved the little
scoundrel, despite the busy hands
and the hole-for-the-tail diapers.

Eventually, he got some monkey
illness and despite receiving care
from the vet who looked after the
Stanley Park zoo critters, he died.

Here are a few pickle and relish
tecipes: two of them are Olive’s.

BRIAN’S ALL-TIME
FAVORITE RELISH
2 long English cucumbers
4 green peppers, seeded
2 red bell peppers, seeded
3 medium onions, peeled
Ke. pickling salt
Cold water
2c. white vinegar
24K c. sugar
2 tsp. celery s*cd
1 Tbsp. mustard seed

Grind or process the vegetables.
{do them in batches in my food
processor. Turn into a very large
bowl or use a stainless steel pot.
Sprinkle with the salt, cover with
cold water and let stand for two
hours.

Squeeze them dry in a colander.
Combine the vinegar, sugar and
seeds. Boil five minutes. Add the
vegetables, bring to a boil, then
simmer and stir for five minutes.

Pour into sterilized jars. Seal
with new lids according to package
directions. Process 10 minutes in a
boiling water bath. To store,
remove the rings: they can be re-
used. This is one of the best all-pur-
pose relishes — great on burgers
and with any meat.

OLIVE’S SWEET
PICKLED ONIONS

5 ths. small pickling onions,
pecled

Brine: % ¢. pickling salt and cold
water to cover

For each jar: 1 dry red chili pep-
per, 1 bay leaf

Vinegar solution: 14 ¢. sugar, 6c.
vinegar

3 Tbsp. mixed pickling spices tied
up in a cheesecloth bag

Prepare the jars. I use small jam
jars —- regulation scaler-type.
Scrub them well in soapy water and
then boil them for 10 minutes. Boil
the ends of kitchen tongs along
with them and use the tongs to fish
them out.

Soak the peeled onions in brine
for two hours. Drain well. Puta
pepper and a bay leaf into each jar
and fijl to within 1° of the top with
onions.

Boil the vinegar solution for 10
minutes. Make sure it’s boiling
hard just before you pour it over the
onions.

Seal with new lids according to
package insiructions. | don't
process these in a boiling water
bath but some people do.

OLIVE’S DANISH RELISH
Vegetables:

1 qt. cucumbers (enough to fill an

8-c. measure to the top)

2 large onions

1 heart celery

1 medium cauliflower
2 red peppers

2 green peppers
Pickling salt

Brine:

3c, white vinegar

5c. sugar

1 Thsp. celery seed

1 Thsp. turmeric

1 Tbsp. mustard seed
Thickening:

3 Tbsp. flour

1 Thsp. dry mustard
Vinegar

Grind the vegetables and sprin-
kle well with pickling salt. Let
stand overnight. Drain and squeeze
out well. Boil the brine mixture for
10 minutes. :

Mix the flour and mustard with
enough vinegar to make a smooth
paste. Stir into brine (use a whisk).
Add vegetables, bring to the boi!
and simmer, stir in for five minutes.

Pour into hot, sterilized canning
jars. Top with new lids, prepared as
directed on the package. This is
quite an old recipe and doesn’t call
for the boiling water bath. If you
like, process the jars 10 minutes in
boiling water to cover.

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