REJECTION, YOUR initial smile.
‘ freezes, wavers, then fades like the
vanishing picture ona television
“screen.

‘..By Susan Goodman
“4. Contributing Writer
Ps That stab of emotional pain and
«embarassment makes you want to
“disappear.

That sense of disbelief, if: you
et it ‘or, can’t stop it, siowly
; erodes your. self-confidence sntil
the incident confirms all the bad
things you secretly believe about
yourself,

. Even worse; that sense of. paral-

“ysis, that may keep you from try-
‘ing again, from setting yourself up
« for the possibility of another hurt,
may begin.

‘We ‘ail. face: rejection more than.

‘we'd, like. And sometimes. those
rejections actually do trigger all
our worst fears.
. You‘don’t get’ the job, ‘for ex-
‘ample, because ‘the . interviewer
: clearly knows you aren't qualified.
‘You are turned down for a date
because . that. other person just
‘doesn't like your looks, or your
‘clothes, or, your whatever (fill in
he blank).
‘ there are many other
itéasons for rejection — often cones
“having little to do with you. :
‘+, According to: experts, how you
-Tespond .to “‘rejection’’ often de-
“pends upon. what’ you think of
yourself,

Someone. with high self-esteem
can keep rejection in perspective.
“If he-isn’t selected asa member
of a:committee for. his. club, he
= feets disappointed but not. neces-
sarily, unworthy. He may look at
-the politics of the selection process
and then find another. way to

triake his contribution.

S°If. a> woman. with high self-
“esteem is:turned down for a job,
“she ; doesn’t _ Srumple.’

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“translates a ‘‘no, thank you’*

- ventured,

She may

CAPERS OPENING

CAPERS, with a location in West
Vancouver, will open its second
store on Wednesday, Nov. 24, in
Vancouver's Kitsilano area, .

At 20,000 square feet, the new
store, located at 2285 West Fourth
Ave., is more than double the size
of the original Capers in. West
Vancouver and is being designed
to be Canada’s largest whole
foods market.

With a passion for natural

foods and a commitment to im-”

proving the way food is produced,
Capers will more than double its
staff to 260. -

- The new Capers will feature the
following departments:

®@ Restaurant: Twice the size of
the West Vancouver location, the

analyze the mistakes she made at

‘the interview so they won’t hap-
_ pen again.

If, however, someone has had a
long history of rejections without
many successes, he may feel that
each new rejection confirms his
lack of worth. —.

A person with shaky self-esteem
into
“ft hate you."’

He sees rejection only in terms
of self-blame, thinking, for exam-

ple, ‘‘{f 1 had been more assertive,

she would still love me.’’

Another person may reject you,
explains David Burns, Ph. D.,
author ‘of {ntimate Connections,

‘put how you end up feeling about

“>it will be determined by your own

‘emotional reaction to the rejec-

tion.

_. You may compound’ your pain:
with thoughts fike: ‘if he doesn't

like me, nobody will’? or, ‘‘Aunt
Mary ate only a bite of my cake;
she hated it.’’

Dealing positively with rejection
doesn't exclude feeling. disap-
pointed or hurt or angry. It just
means not stopping there,

For fear of rejection can keep
you from taking risks ——- and
consequently experiencing success.

If. you are afraid of being
turned down, you may lose. a
potential friend by never. asking
your co-worker out to lunch.

If you are afraid to be pigeon-
holed in a do-nothing position,
you may never volunteer to do
community work that could bring
meaning to your life.

If you are, afraid to fail, you
will never have a chance to win.

To help you build a ‘nothing
nothing gained’ at-
titude, here are some ways to keep
rejection in perspective:
@ Ask yourself, “How am i
making things worse?’’

Talk back to. your negative
thoughts, refuting them with logic.

When you feel rejected after

Kitsilano restaurant. will seat 90
inside and 40 outside and will! be
headed by Vancouver chef Anne
Milne;

@ Courtyard cafe: The courtyard
cafe will feature a juice and cap-
puccino bar along with self-serve
style ‘‘faster food’’;

@ Health care: Full-time consul-
tants will be available to assist
customers in making selections
from a broad spectrum of health
care products. Consumer demand
has resulted in a 40% to 50% in-
crease in the sales of this depart-
ment in West Vancouver, which ‘is
expected to grow into a substantial
segment of the Kitsilano store
operation;

@ Deli-bakery: The use of
organic four in the bakery pro-
ducts along: with various s*gar

cooking a special and unap-
preciated meal for your farnily,
ask yourself if they really under-
stand that you are trying to reach
out to them.

Is there another way to reach
out that would yield more positive
results?

@ Remember,
perfect.

As Burns writes in his book,
once you've been rejected a cer-
tain number of times, your fear of
rejection will tend to go away
because you'll discover that you
do survive and the world doesn’t
really end.

@ There really can be a silver
lining to this dark cloud.

Rejection can be a sign that you
need to make changes.
Choose a new career path or pick
a. different type of person ta be

practice makes

. attracted to,

Try. to see rejection as an
emergency flare that leads you to
the source of the problem. You
may learn something very impor-
tant about yourself or your goals.
Victor K, Kiam, head of Rem-
ington Co., tells in his book Go-
ing for It! how he changed his life
by viewing rejection as an oppor-
tunity for new creative thinking.
He notes, ‘Rejection can be a
friend if it opens you to other
possibilities... Turn that turn

‘down into.a microscope, enabling

you to examine the possible
shortcomings. of yourself, your
project or your idea. Then work
on correcting those faults. That's
how to make rejection into an al-
ly.

But always remember that re-
jection may really have nothing at
all to do with you — you may be
the ‘‘target.”’

Keep a healthy perspective on

" rejection, and always try to turn it

around to work positively for you.
- Distributed by the Los Angeles
Times Syndicate.

Sunday, N November YA 1993 - North Shore News ~

alternatives such as fruit juice and
honey sweeteners have catered to
consumer interest in more
wholesome food. The type of
revolving deck oven recently in-
stalled at Capers’ West Vancouver

location will also be installed in’

the Kitsilano location;

@ Grocery: The emphasis on pro-
viding the consumer with whole
natural food and organic ingre-
dients has grown with the store;

@ Produce: In contrast to many
health food grocery stores which
include a small selection of
organic produce, Capers devotes a
majority of its display space to
organic produce with a strong em-
phasis on using local growers as
suppliers,

EMERGENCY PLANNING
SMART-TEXT SOLUTIONS Inc.
(SSI), a Vancouver-based com-
pany that specializes in publishing
manuals, has been working with a
North Shore fire départment to
create the first manual of its kind
to simplify the challenges faced by
building owners in producing a
fire plan for their buildings.

The manual will also give in-
formation to reduce the time and
effort needed by the three North
Shore fire departments and to
review those plans to ensure that
they comply with provincial regu-
lations,

SSI has produced a comprehen-

- designed

“sive and consistent, Fire ‘Safety and

Emergency Preparedness Maaual.
The 250-page manual is expected
to save time and money and is
to provide vital fire .
safety standards as well as much--
needed information on how
everyone can be ready for a major
disaster and how to survive it
during evacuations and rescues.

SEASPAN
APPOINT MENT

‘JOHN HAMMOND has’ been ap-

pointed to the position of barge
superintendent of North Van-
couver-based: Seaspan Interna-
tional Ltd.

Hammond joined Vancouver
Shipyards Co. Ltd., which’ is
owned by Seaspan in North Van-
couver, with an extensive
background in marine engineering,
consulting and manufacturing.

Since then, he has been involved
in the barge repair operations at
Vancouver Shipyards, where. he
was responsible for the specifica-
tion, scheduling and quality con-
trol of the barge repair and
maintenance requirements in con-
junction with Seaspan’s marine ~
operations departments. .
North Shore business groups and
individuals wishing to submit.
items to Business Briefs can fax
them to the attention of  Surj
Rattan at 985-3227,

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