36 = Sunday, May 15,1988 - North Shore News

HOST FOULEDUP =
All guests are important

: DEAR Miss. MANNERS .- _—
At.’g) company © party. my
spouse and [ attended, .there
was.a menu beside each
place setting, stating the

ed.
_. Three wines were inctuded. We
« were served a rose with the meal,.
aud my. spouse asked for 5 giass of
> ‘the burgundy instead. a
“) Oar’ server thereupon informed .
the table. that “the chabiis and
burgundy were for “VIPs.” .
We ‘seere all rather taken aback.
The man who. plans.this anaual -
party Is usually: “uperringly correct. °
I would. not dream of. questioning

paralegal who will be working for

him — a pleasant, competent,

middle-aged woman — she in-
Gicated that her husband is a real
estate agent who would be happy

: to help us find a new house. °.
foods and. wines to be serv.

-. him about tits: but am curious.to®.
. know If the practice Is occepiables

Surely if seme wines were reserved
for:: VIPs. they: shouid not have:

appeared onthe menu.”

“is GENTLE READER — The con-.

expt of: the VIP. does nat. exist in
; nals of etiquette. All guests
* oe important, and while there may —
be a guest of tionor, there are’ N10,
menus: of . honor.--Your. unerring

) : host ‘erred: at least:three times: by.”

be relocatiag, as ray. bus wiann of hima @ relate to ble wife.
Rew ‘fob.

miss
“manners

» Judith Martin

Wi are both new: to the cor-

. porate, world: and-:are. worried

LIFESTYLES

I have told kim that in the-Jong
ran, she will be most interested in

‘how she Is treated on a daily basis,

and that her mention of her hus-
band caanot really be described as
a “hard sell.’”

I believe the mast cantious thing
to do would be to employ another
real estate agent. My kusband has
left this decision up to me. He does

have lots of faith in my Judgment.
“GENTLE READER -- So does

Miss Manners. She quite agrees
that you ‘should find. another real

» estate agent.’

- But you needn't offend this

_agent’s. wife by doing so. The

technique of pretending not to
understand or remember an offer
you do not want to accept is an ex-
tremely valuable one. In‘this case,

‘you need only ignore’ the: offer,

which was presumably made kind-

‘ly and without: thought of the

complications. involved .in doing
“business with the husband ‘of a
business associate. :

Should the offer be repeated, or
should there be any other occasion

2 for'an explanation of how-you are

sotving your housing problem, say,

“ "Oh; you. were. so,kind to offer.

about.the appropriateness of deal- | your ‘husband's services; but really,

ing ¥ with this woman’s hushend. At;

* the least,’ we would have. to discuss |
the typeof Louse we. ces qualify,”

‘feelings he tad
| trying to be. ‘kelpfel, |.

pay Informa

umd my basbaad does mot with to -

we wouldn’t have dreamed of tak-
ing ‘advantage of the connection.”
: Miss. Manners is perfectly aware

“that he had’ not offered..ta forgo
his. commission," nor..could you.

have accepted such an: offer if he
. did. But with all such danger safely

- past, there. is no reason why you
“cannot. both . bask inthe iof..:

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