~ Freelance Counsellor Hay: on ' Stewart may be reached ‘at i Tuesdays only] STEWART: Bear. with © me while I make this last ‘about Christmas mail received for the col-— umn. One person has written extolling the. effectiveness and the- brief _ comment rewards of | creating ¢ one’ Ss own: . Christmas . af Tha cards. | The writer en- closed a sample of a very attractive card he had -prepared which was rich with ideas, creativity and warmth. It was a delightful card. But the. REAL item is. that the. card was celebrating the | send-— "QUESTION: Like you. {if I remember your comments. _ last year] I have mever been too much for New Year "resolutions. But I have a “mew experience to describe = ta yeu ‘and- | would Rke bm . invite your comments. About a month ago, I had a’sort of . “‘etirring” in my mind about _ 1978. Since . then, - ‘it. has become increasingly definite 7 to me and it is. this. I’ve just _ had a. growing feeling that _ 1978 is going to be an extra ~ important vear for me, I . could always take New Years 267-6242 for appointments for “eounse ling... ae His new office in’ the : Internatione! Hotel . [open ie fer the eenveniense of Neri. Shore residents. HENHACxONOeAsONSUCUASEAU ‘Inner voice |! mighty powerful I want to do and I don’t want to do, both at once. It’s a thing I feel wrong about. But . what I do is argue myself into believing that I’m old-fash- ioned if 1 don’t do it, or that Ym inhibited if I don’t do it. About feeling wrong about it, I tell myself that’s just your conditioning and a part of the old morality I was.brought up on. I say to myself that it’s the new age I’m living in and. that i shouldn’t kneel’ down before the old standards of my parents and — grand- parents. But I still feel it’s wrong for me. Do you think Pm just inhibited and too darn stuffy for my own geod, and that I should go ahead? | Or do you think it’s really right for me to play the game by the old rules? STEWART: Your letter is rather general ‘and vague enough to leave me confus- ‘ed. However, perhaps I could pive a peneral vague answer! | Generally speaking (he said, vaguely) it’s pretty good sense to treat with suspicion any ‘logic’? you bring into play for the purpose of convincing yourself that your inward feeling is not worth heeding. If you feel some- thing-is “wrong’’ for you, it is quite likely that all your logic about it will still leave you feeling guilty, We are not too knowledgable about eet ‘te on Ce Cee a i or leave ‘it alone. But: this year I am really eager and excited. Do you have. these hunches? uy ‘can’t think of a better. word for my feeling]. - Now, what I want te ask you = about is this. Is” there something i should be doing a Support. my | hunch. with ; some lciyaed action? co mean, is someti . Short. of making resolutions? ~What shovid i de about itt STEWART: Sure, such hunches. by CHOOS : ING to be QUESTION: There’s a thing . QUESTION: This is my first letter to you. I’ye read your column since the start and you are unbelievable! mean, you always seem to be positive and constructive in your answers and you always seem to see the best in'a person. How does a person get that way?. I’m pretty critical and judgemental al- | though I certainly don’t want to be that way. How did you develop your positive atti- tude? , STEWART: I wish I were as positive as you seem to picture me! I’ve never been. asked this question before and so I have had to-ponder it a bit. It seems to me the first step is. to choose to be what conscience is, but one thing we do know is that it is mighty. powerful. If you want to feel lousy and depressed, go against your inner voice | and side in’ with your home-made arguments. But if you want to fecl more sure of yourself, listen to your inner voice. Then as you begin to feel more.sure of yourself and beuier able to. trust yourself, you will be in a position to examine’ your old standards with a view to ascertaining their’ validity or lack of validity, It’s.a‘bit:over simplification on’ my part to CIPRO EMT Ca Tn Te et tn aoe LL . card and accompanying - have coming along: my way. wealthy ali of a I have | Although, .. _ encourage me to continue in it. In fact, it has’ sort of _page 15 - January 4, 1978 - North Shor er’s 9Sth. Christmas! r.\ “part of its. message is, ‘‘Life comes and goes: but Time and The Seasons continue’’ One got the feeling from his letter that for him, this was a. Merry Christ- oo. mas! | | “ love to sell Real Estate - - -3 years in the business and over. 300 homes ‘sold’. List your home with me. and : plan- your move. ” thank goodness I never seém’ to have any negative. ones. I never have any ‘‘warnings’’. about tomorrow, but often I **special . feelings’ ~ about something good that is What to do ‘about your ‘hunch? Well, ‘first of all,‘ avoid. translating your good feeling into some sort of specific expectation. For example, don’t decide that it “Means you are going to be ~ sudden ; pe Oe te or. that your long-awaited pro- motion will come about. You - “HOME SWEET HOME”’ J Oo fee. . This weeks All the things that-make a house a home. Three BR’s, large , _can have abundant expectan- - featu re ~ kitchen for Mom, workshop for Dad, sun room for everyone | cy, but don’t tie it down to and jarge fenced. vear yard: 1344. square feet in all and only specifics. Keep in ‘mind too _home_ 59, 900! It’s been pampered beyond belief. shat the ‘‘good thing’’. you. , — are eager for and await with enthusiasm, may not be & recognized by you when it does come along, me : For example, you - “May ‘meet some person, or learn. ‘how to love more freely, ‘or iscover a new way you can . make others happy. Be grateful for the hunch . - and be open ‘to its becoming: © reality. Pray that you will not block it when it offers itself, § either out’ of skepticism or } habit. There’s something | -much better for each of us. Why not you? Trust the hunch and be ‘ready. ‘If you ‘keep saying ‘‘yes”’ to it, you could well have so .many good things come about that you'll never know which is which! “REC, CENTRE SPECIAL” Ei Price slashed for. immediate sale on this solid oldie with 4th BR and sauna:in full basement. ‘Now. 54,900.! The location is perfect and the tar e level lot has.a lovely view. $2500. Down ill Handie - Balance is all arranged! - = “CAULFEILD SEMI-WATERFRONT” . Park like % acre right across from the beach. - with a gorgeous view and a small cottags. Value mainly in the land. Low 100’s. Ideal if you want | to live & build. Cottage « at rear property line. positive. (You already WANT td, so you are on the § way). In my experience, the ‘| results of. the choice have : [ been rewarding enough to SACRIFICE SALE . A one owner 6.yr old Grest built home with & family room off the kitchen, 3 fireplaces, 3 & baths, 5 .BR's, deluxe rec room, plush - “SPECIAL AND EXCITING”’ -A 3 B.R. with Indoor pool that oozes with warmth and charm. Many extras such as family room, 2 full baths, 2 fireplaces and sauna. Large . . - 100’x150" ridge lot gives total seclusion. Open broadioom, sunny 6 Xposure deck with city view become ‘‘my way’’ and _ is ° @ anytime by Appointment. $119, 000.1 and appliances, .and all curtains and drapes now almost habitual with me. included. Offered in the high 70's ; When I am negative and oe om ‘critical I am jolted by the experience and tend to slip _ back into the positive and © supportive. Kind of fun, eh? The start for you may lie in your CHOOSING §to . be positive in your attitudes and then allowing yourself to do it. It’s a nice thing to do for | yourself, so why not give yourself a break? SEMI WATERFRONT A 1300 plus sq. footer that's freshly decorated and has a 2nd bath, 4th BR and fireplaced rec. rm. down. Tho Ige 100’ x 150’ fot Is right across from the beach and the wator and mountain view ‘Is breathtaking. Vendor sacrifice In hi 80's! For further information about these and other North Shore residential properties, call jack yeas eckson! Lanett ta viene “— “er Bow: } woo Ny RIGHT BY AMBLESIDE | A doluxe 1 bdrm with georgeous, Mountain view and new plush broadloom. 2'pools (indoor & outdoor), 2 saunas, party room ote. Mid 30's, lay this on you, but I want to | suggest that for TODAY, you '‘§ would be wise to listen to § your‘ ‘feelings’ because there are some things that you know you know. As long as you “know”? them - go with. §& them, they will probably @ never Iet you down. The more you get used to going along with what you deeply | **know'' within yourself, the | more freedom your inner self. - oe will have to give you more mature messages. So - keep listening and saying ‘‘yes’’, and your inhibitions will be handled in some. good way. Suse a Realt; ¥. 984-9711] " A tape just at the right time. a D TO latin ala ‘ sf ‘ re De alae coke roimene. Lier amir ot ! a 7 where yo your. Rome. ts our: personal business’ oS ‘vette my aaaZet ht " ‘ org ee