Ad - Wednesday, October 10, 1984 - North Shore News

strictly personal

by Bob Hunter

HIS IS GIVING AWAY a trade secret, but |

keep a filed utled ‘‘sex.’” Hold it, don’t tell

my editor you told him so! I keep files on a
couple of hundred other subjects as well.

But sex, well, it's a kind of
perenmial story, asm’t uw? od
don’t find much satisfactory,
serious (but not too serious),
objective writing in the print
media about sex. it’s like we
all had our hands slapped
early and we're still a little
gun shy, y’know?

And then again, if you try
to say anything about sex at
all in pulhe, you're hable to
have Media Watch on your
case, accusing you of one of
life's more bizarre crimes:
sexism.

if } understood the English
language at all (Okay,
oKay!), it seems to me that
**sexism’’ must surely mean
bein in’ favor of sex.
Wouldn't that make sense?
In which case, | confess to
being a habitual sexist.

‘““Your Mommy
and Daddy were
sex fiends. Had
to be. Even if just
for one night.’’

Apparently, tt doesn't
mean, that all. ‘‘Sexism’” has
somehow been twisted into a
word representing sexual
stereotyping, usually of the
male variety. Tre correct
word oogni to be “male sex
ual stereotypism 9 Right?
Come know
right’

on, you Im
Cretting back to sexism as a
way of hfe. | want to thank

somebody named N Rachel

(wouldnt give vane turst
name eh) oat Neoeth Naan
couser for writing a letter to
the editor ttled “Send Beat
otf wath Gairks |

The pest of the tetter was
that Vena Stroud abl brags are

Int NATURAL PrK™M
e follows thre flow of th
re Shere CO
beware tly as
Oar ig nee ‘"

vet iget oat

yey

HENNA OR
CELLOPMANE $ | 8

CHABSANGC

WE © ANKE
FOR Yeot on

Py ocr blow ary

ithec{ S
‘tall 5

SCULPTURED NAILSIags tot

and send Bob Hunter along
with all the Sunshine Girls to
a very remote place... where
communicauion with the out-
side world is impossible.’’

Well, needless to say I chip-
ped that letter and showed it
to my wife that very night.

‘“*What d'ya think, dear?
Great idea, eh? Great story'
Restore the batteries! Fire up
the old literary juices! File an
exclusive to “Penthouse! A
man’s gotta do.

So, anyway, she decks me
with a crisp karate chop to
the unmentuionables. 1 just
wanted if to go on the record
that | volunteered for the
job, boss. In fact, I was just
going to send you this in-
credible invotce from Tahiti
And a tweek of the Hunter
whiskers to N. Rachel! Keep
those cards and letters
coming! ~~

Anyway, the mere tdea of
wholesome mass sex on a
secluded beach got me to
thinking — I'm speaking
philosophically now — abour
that darned old problém of
sex Most of the peope |!
know are civilized, perfectly
proper, outstanding, law-
abiding citizens.

Yet (whether they admit it
or not) most of them have a
dark sade. In the privacy of
their Rermies, or wherever,
they are prone to taking off
all their Clothes and making
shameless woopee (Have |
got that spelled right?) No!
Don't turn your eves away!
This womportant’ You must
bellese me!

Lohid vou nor oli tact. at

vou ceally want ta pet down
tay the EEN peat CNETY
Stiigle one Ob us was oreabed
outoot an todescribabls ditty
act between two raving
heterosextials Yep bats as
Pats Your Mastttis ane
Paddys were sex trends bard

-~- THE NATURAL CUT tollows the tlow ot= 1

the Nai and ts cut exactly as the trae faiths
Cbs ar tet

ty . “SAAR Tn

y CONT Tae ONENG,
Witrd Thats, Aj

LAPIRES OCTOBER to
mig Pes ~

~

922-6161
10 Am-7PM

+ farchk Hoova

hr NTA
HOO CV Ve Me

a

Proud to be sexist

to be. Even if just for one
night.

This will come as a bitter
blow to. the six-year-olds
among my readers who have
been told by their parents
that they shouldn't do this,
that or anything. But, yes,
your tolks were panting,
salivating animals in their
time, grunting and groaning
like fools in a porn show.

Woodlands

better

(73
- 7 _ ot >

we
meets ee en acy
NE Taper nie Eas aie sean 1 Sane)

WOODLANDS

Gawd, | have trouble get-
ting all tangled up in a knot
of moral outrage about sex-
ual exploitation. Have you
ever watched a football game
or a hockey game or a soccer
game, etc? There's exploita-
tion! Those poor characters
are bought and sold like cat-
tle! | mean, they are meat!
M-E-A-T!

Anyway. Thanks again N.
Rachel. | particularly lked
your parting shot to the et-
tect that the Sunshine Girls
and | ‘‘have everything tn
common and wouldn't be
missed.’’ See, boss? It would

be okay! Eh, boss? Eh?
Come on!
Pll tury the tender ap-

proach: Please, dear?
Nah. I didn’t think so.

A NORTH Vancouver
woman who found torn che-

ues, sports registration

orms and Chargex bills
scattered on her cul-de-sac
Monday has a word of warn-
ing for persons sending mail:
make sure a return address 1s
on the envelope.

The woman, who asked
for anonymity, said the mail
was obviously stolen from a
nearby mailbox. She said the
RCMP have been contacted

NATURAL FOODS

-In tune with Nature

WOODLANDS

Woodlands is a place where you can relax in congenial surroundings and enjoy
delicious natural cuisine, listen to fine classical and new age music, smell the
tantalizing aromas of freshly baked breads and pastries and meet good frends.

Our self-serve weight & pay system is fast & economical and allows you to

choose and create your own “masterpieces” Additives, refined food & animal
products are never used or sold at Woodlands.

In the 1960's, Arran & Ratna Stephens helped pioneer the natural foods
movement tn Canada away from junk foods and towards wholesome good
nutrition. Today they are as involved & committed as ever through the channel of
Restaurants Stores & Bakery We at Woodlands wish to
acknowledge and thank all of our many good customers & friends and who
supported us in the past and who continue to support us as we grow to serve you

_ For the largest selection and ‘‘quaranteed”’
lowest prices on Natural Foods and Health

Products Shop at our three convenient
locations.

Cour | lagqshap Kestatiuranit
and Bakery
POR Wheat Broaden

vio tecytialepar

Jeo 3.’ bc oboee im
3 Lonsdale

733-5411

WOODLANDS STORES &

Restaurants

poo toe

687-4855
985-9358

NATURAL FOODS |

93 Lonsdale

N. Vancouver

/
4

985-9358

Mon: Sat,:

LETTER FOUND

NMiore problems
with the mail

and have the mail in their
possession.

‘“‘But one of the letters |
found has me upset because
it has no return address,’’
said the woman. ‘I went
through it brnefly to try and
find some identification but
there wasn’t any. It starts
out ‘Dear Bette and Harold,’
is signed, ‘Love, Do,’ and is
dated September 25. It

would be a shame if this let-
ter wasn’t picked up by the
person who sent it.”’

OPEN FT DAYS
AWEER

Sundays & Holidays