4 - Sunday, January 12, 1992 —- North Shore News Getting to the meat of the matter Bob Hunter THE MISSION to intercept the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria had seemed glorious- ly simple over the phone. The problem, of course, would be overshooting them somewhere around where the Caribbean and Ailantic oceans merge. Before committing himself to a dicey deepsea lunge, in whici he might miss and the target ships would be behind him, Captain Pau! Watson decided to take his ship into San Juan and indulge in a bit of reconnaisance and in- telligence-gathering. This was just dandy with everybody, what with half the crew barely talking to the other half after less than a week at sea. This was, after all, an uneasy, unlikely alliance of vegans and natives. Vegans are the mili#tant arm of the vegetarian movement. The dozen or so natives on board were from the northwestern Interior of B.C., men — and one woman -— who, in the normal course of events, would have been out trap- ping or hunting or fishing. They were a vegan’s worst nightmare. The vegans in turn seemed pretty weird to the natives. who could not imagine anyone surviving on sesame balls, slimy beans and burnt pumpkin. As fate would have it, the cock, a vegan himself, was so bad that even the vegans couldn’ stand the food after a while. They ganged up on him one night while he was sleeping and shaved off an eyebrow, It was inevitable that the natives would sooner or fater take over the galley, even if just temporari- t A massive chicken stew was cooked up by Art Loring, Wing-Chief of the Eagle Clan, who was both a hereditary Gitksan chief-in-training and the elected chief of his band. And what a cook! The vegans stayed away in dismay and disgust. The rest of us were invited to join the feast, which meant there were at least five white folks at an otherwise all-native gathering, while the boat crashed along through six- foot seas. Lord, that chicken stew tasted good, even though the vengeful vegans had hidden the salt. The Indian guys and the gringo meat-eaters bonded for life, as you can imagine. L argued loudly that in the event of a disaster, like us getting lost at sea for months, the vegetarians should offer themselves up as food. If the rest of us were to diz, | reasoned, it wouldn't save the veggies, since it would be against their beliefs to devour our bodies. The rest of us, on the other hand, would be only too happy to feast on their grain-fed remains, Employees foil robbery attempt THREE WOULD-be thieves turned chicken in a failed bid to rob a North Vancouver Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet Jan. 8. According to a North Van- couver RCMP spokesman, the incident occurred at 8:48 p.m. at 1262 Lynn Valley Rd. Three males approached the fast-food store, Employees in- side saw the suspects coming. One of the suspects was carry- ing what appeared to be a gun. The employees then locked themselves in a back room. The three suspects abandoned their plan and left the scene. THE CORPORATION OF THE DISTRICT OF NORTH VANCOUVER wonTS vanczeves ° IT’S SIX MONTHS UNTIL PROPERTY TAX TIME Although property taxes are not due for approximately six months, ‘during January you can make an advance payment towards your 1992 taxes and earn interest until July. The interest is credited directly to your tax account — so you don’t pay income tax on the interest earned. Advance payments earn interest which is: *paid at 2% below the Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce prime rate effective on the day payment is received (the C.1.Bo. prime rate was 8% on December 31, 1991); *calculated from the date of payment until July 2nd, inclusive; *credited to your tax account. Any overpayment of taxes is refunded after July 17th. Advance payments of a $10.00 minimum may be made until January 31. If you would like more information on pre-payment of taxes, call the District Tax Office at 987-7131, between 8:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m., Monday to Friday. STRICTLY PERSONAL and at least that way somebody would survive! Especially if we could find the salt... As I say, we were all looking forward to a litle shore leave as the Sea Shepherd chugged into San Juan harbor. - ft was a Sunday as we came in. Everything was closed down because a national referendum on independence had been called. It took hours to get a pilot, and more hours to get through over the radiophone to a woman in immigration who said it was OK to Jand and go ashore. The pilot took us into a fancy marina with hundreds of white fibreglass marlin-fishing yachts tied up. The sight of a black 200-foot steel-hulled former trawler loom- ing over the dock, taking out a wharf lamp as it came in, was understandably unsettling for the nearest yacht-owners, who waved their arms and shouted in Spanish as the Sea Shepherd's shadow fell across them. From that moment onward, bu- reaucratic machinery kicked in one loose cog at a time. The natives, most of whom had been desperately seasick, decided to go ashore and get some hotel rooms. No sooner had they vanished than two visibly-upset Puerto Rican Customs officers screeched to a stop in their four-wheel drive and charged on board, demanding to see papers and threatening $3,000 fines for each and every person who'd left the boat. Trying to explain that an im- migration officiat had said it was OK to go ashore — had even given us a Customs control number — didn’t impress Customs Inspector Garcia, the armed honcho who was in charge. He hadn't heard anything about anything. Therefore nothing had © happened. Everybody who'd left had better get back to the boat immediately, he ordered. The entire crew was confined to the ship until further notice. We were pinned down behind enemy lines and the situation looked hopeless. | retreated to my bunk and opened a can of Spam. My private loaf of bread had already grown mouldy. The mar- garine was rancid. Through my porthole I could eye an establishment catled the Sailor’s Bar, but it was out of reach on the other side of a hur- ricane fence. My God, I was a Prisoner! Was this the end? Separate yourself the ordinary! | AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF [. COLLINS January Clearance Everything in Both Stores Will Be Marked 685-8414 1080 Mainland Street at Helmcken Downtown Vancouver, B.C. Now Two Big Locations CANADA'S LARGEST THOMASVILLE GALLERY Ontlins THOMASVILLE GALLERY Hundreds of Styles Drastically Reduced Ready for Immediate Delivery at Prices of UP TO 5O%o 435-5566 4240 Manor Street Burnaby, B.C. 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