is there

From Page 42
me.

My youthful appearance
has cooled two friendships
with women my age, once
because an unsuspecting
cretin mistook me for my
friend's daughter.

I might add that I act and
dress conservatively (suits
and misses’ dresses at work,
clothes from better women’s
specialty shops for casual
wear) and have completely
given up choosing clothing
found in department-store
Junior sections.

Socially, I have found that
some men only slightly older
than | write me off even be-
fore an introduction,
because they do not wish to
be thought of as cradle rob-
bers,

In business, | wear’ my
glasses to look older and
usually try to work into the
conversation my 15 years’
experience and what a joy
my teenage children are, so
my clients won’t feel I suffer
from lack of experience.

Don't get me wrong — I -

do enjoy looking young. But
isn’t there some way to keep
my friends and wear clothes
I really like without giving
my history to strangers?

_GENTLE READER —
There is no rule of etiquette
requiring you to.adjust your
face so that people can read
its age correctly, but neither
is there a rule penalizing
people who guess your age
incorrectly.

Therefore, Miss Manners

can only give you partial -

relief (resisting pointing out
that time will ‘take care of
the rest). If you continue to
alert those who have: a
legitimate need to know your
age, she will relieve you of
catering to those who don’t.
If you continue to dress on
‘the job to emphasize maturi-
ty — and by the way,

everyone should dress as a~

grown-up for business, or at
least everyone in a grown-up
business — she will defend

-you from’ doing so ‘among '

friends.

Where there are age
restrictions or laws, those in
charge have a right to ask,

and you should merely fur- -

nish proof without discus-
sion. -
Your clients have a
legitimate interest in know-
ing whether you are a:bepin-
ner, and prospective suitors
have a legitimate interest in
knowing whether you are a
minor. A mere mention-of
your 15 years’ experience to

the former and your children ©

to the latter, rather than a
history, is enough of a hiat.

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What Miss Manners can
rid you of is rude people
who harp on your youthful
looks, or, even more stupid-
ly, on the contrast with
theirs. The cretin was not so
much the person who guess-

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43 - Wednesday, July 17, 1985 - North Shore News

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