A2 - Sunday, June 13, 1982 - North Shore News two-inch tail. The doctors involved said this was a rare condition, but that it occurred from time to tume because human genes sull contain the information necessary for tail formation. A tail, by the way, is called a “caudal ap- pendage.” The one on the kid in Boston had hair and nerves but no bone or cartilage. It was covered “by skin of normal texture and had a soft, fibrous consistency,” according to Associated Press. Now get this! The tail was removed! They cut it off! If I was the kid, I'd sue them and sue them for a lot. strictly personal by Bob Hunter A tail of two theories AS STORY of The Year, I would nominate the report out of Boston that a baby was born with a IH tell you the truth. / have suffered from tail envy all my '*-. 1 have always secretly wished I had a tail. 1 watch the things that vanous animals do with their tails, and I think, ah drat, why haven't I got one of those? Unfair! I'm not entirely kidding. either. Go on, think about it. There are a lot of closet tail- enviers out there, I'm certain, even if you don't dare admit it for fear of being locked away. The timing of a human child being born with a tail couldnt have been better (always assuming it's not a hoax). NVD tax bills are for real ON-AGAIN-off-again tax assessment wrangling during recent months in North Vancouver District) may have left some home owners there confused over the tax bills now mailed out by the municipality, according to Distnct Finance Director Mel Palmer The bills being received by property owners this month are for the tax amounts finally pavable Palmer told The News, and payment must be received at Distinct hall by July 2 in order to avoid a five per cent penalty Postmarks are not accepted as the date of payment Early payers may use postdated cheques dated July 2. 1982 Homeowner grant ap pheahons must also be made before July ? Semor 65 and OVI widows and widowers. and handicapped persons receiving GAIN income assistance may qualify to defer their taxes under a provincial government program. Information and forms are available at the Distnct tax office, 355 West Queens Road (987-7131) GOING AWAY THIS SUMMER? for ative in of dally housesitter that you « an teally trust callus Guardian Angel Housesitting Service 4. .’ ta 4¢ Licenced Bonded & Insured 2370 Mathers Ave W V FANGLE Creative Living ls presenting its first show PEATUIRINGs ANDREW WONG POTTERY (June 14 26) AL SC > ANNUAL BONSAI SHOW (June 14 19) Moorea, oom et y MO Ty pers » it > mii ty & 1OO3 Lonsadaqle Ave North Var 987-6543 What with the creationists pitting themselves against the evolutionists on the educational front and the Christian fundamentalists locked in pohtical battle with orthodox = sctentific thinkers, the timing. indeed. is poetic. It also ties in rather nicely with two of the other great debates of our time — the animal nghts movement and the anti-abortion fight. The doctors involved with the tailed child in Boston said that “even those familiar with evolution are rarely confronted with the relation between human beings and their pnmitive ancestors on a daily basis.” The tail striking “represents a clinical con- frontation with the reality of evolution,” they added. The argument i1s_ that humans diverged from our most closely related tail- bearing ancestors some 25 miulhon years ago. Personally, I have had doubts about the Theory of Evolution for years, ever since a fnend of mine who is a thoroughly-rational professor told me the fossil record is not. only in- complete, it provides scientific evidence that tends to refute Darwin. In essence, evolutionism 1s a belief system more than an indisputably proven fact. You don’t have to be in favor of the Biblical vision of the universe in order to make that case. This would have been a definite public relations victory for the scientists — the finding of a tall on a human — if they hadn't immediately bungled it by amputating. Who is to say that a tail isn't an improvement? Even if it was just to hold the space bar down on my typewnter, freeing a thumb to poke through = the telephone book, I’m ab- solutely certain I could find ways to make use of a tail. Think of the fashion possibilities! Tail-rings. taal- beads, tail-dyes, tail- warmers, tail-scarves, tail- ties, tail-supporters, _ tail- stockings. Maybe even litte devices you attacL to the end. You could run your outboard engine’ while keeping both hands free to fish. Try to imagine the implications for athletes. Think how everytning from badminton to. wrestling would be affected, to say nothing, ahem, of love. The profound question is this: If we really are nothing more than pnmates who lost their tails, when, exactly, did we start acquiring all the holy attnbutes which give us a mght to hfe we deny to other creatures? If we had our tail hack, we might even be abie to bring an end to war. We'd have a tail to wag, no matter how loud we barked. Implications? Y ou bet! Specialist in inter-locking paver Sidewalks, drive ways Patios and pools etc. Elan Paving Stone Company Ltd. We can refer you to many jobs done by us on the North Shore FREE ESTIMATES Telephone: 434-5927 or 253-6866 ‘or Your Tax Dollars You have been demanding, and schools have been providing, more and more services these past few years. For example: ® attention to basic skills for all students * Class sizes that permit personal attention * programs for students with special needs * improved library services * schools in your neighbourhood # quality athletic, performing and fine arts activities # Clean, well-maintained facilities Vinder the new educa on finance formula, the provincial government wall take control of the non residential tax base This means that North Vancouver schools will lose 45% of their tax base The povernment will use the money as a source tron all school districts North Vancouver schoots will lose a Significant part of the (ax base which has been used to provide the quality of education you have come to expect NORTH VANCOUVER TEACHERS’ ASSOCIATION of funds to finance educa