28 - Sunday, August 5, 1990 ~ North Shore News

LIFESTYLES

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Birth announcements are not tasteless

DEAR MISS MANNERS — We are expecting our fifth
child, and Mom has commented that it is perhaps in poor
taste to keep sending announcements for each addition,
because the recipients see them as requests for gifts.

We certainly do not intend
them to be considered that way.
We simply want to let people
know of our happy events.

A friend had her fourth child
this past year and did not send
out announcements. She had to
put a disclaimer in her Christmas
letter for ali who had expressed
concern that the baby had either
not survived or perhaps was a bit
of an embarrsssment (neither
true).

GENTLE READER — Your
mother would be a strange
grandmother if she thought that
you kept having babies in the
hope of extracting another pair of
booties or a rattle out of your
overextended friends.

So why does she assume that
other people feel that way?

Miss Manners would imagine it
to be obvious that the purpose of
an announcement is to announce
something. You have something
just as important to announce
when you have a fifth child as you
do when having a first. Your rela-
tives and good friends will want to
receive this information and, as
your friend’s experience showed,
may become alarmed if they do
not.

If they are moved by their
pleasure in this announcement to
send a baby present, that is very
nice.

DEAR MISS MANNERS — Is
it acceptable for an adult to at-

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Media Resources
Program

Information Meeting
Wed. Aug. 15, 7 p.m. Room B145

Capilano College’s Media Resources program has
been training media specialists for the past 20
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“Emake my comnissions the old fashioned way, 1 earn them. ""

Judith
Martin

MISS MANNERS

tend a wedding and not bring a
gift? I feel that it is not, but my
fiance says that you will say it is

perfectly acceptable.

GENTLE READER — Oh, he
does, does he? Funny, Miss Man-
ners docsn’t remember him from
the Etiquette Council.

Having strenuously maintained
that there is no social form, in-
vitation or announcement that
translates as ‘‘Present due,’’ Miss
Manners might seem trapped into
agreeing with your fiance.

Fortunately, she is wilier than
that. If you do not feel sufficient-
ly pleased by someone’s marriage
to be moved to try to contribute
to that person’s happiness, you
don’t belung at the wedding.

It is possible that your fiance is
referring to occasions when he ac-
companies you but does not actu-
ally know the bridal couple who
are your friends. In that case, he
may be included in your present.
And Miss Manners trusts that you
do not mean the verb ‘‘bring’’ lit-

erally. Wedding presents — pro-
perly sent to the bride’s home be-
fore the wedding, or to the cou-
ple’s home afterward — are a
nuisance when brought to the
event, where no one has time to
deal with them.

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Symphony

by

the Seashore

at Ambleside.

This summer, the VSO is going to be out and about,
all over the Lower Mainland. So pack up the
family, the blanket, the picnic basket, the lawn chairs
and the beach umbrella and go to the Symphony,

Join us at Ambleside Park and enjoy
symphonic music on a breezy
summer's evening. Bring the whole

family to this scenic seaside

without going formal.

park

and let the music of Brahms and ©

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lie back!

Sponsored by: Imperial Oil
Districts of West Vancouver and

North Vancouver, The City

SUNDAY, AUGUST 12
AMBLESIDE PARK

WEST VANCOUVER 7:00 PM
ADMISSION FREE

Blankets and lawn chairs are

recommended.
Enter at the concert to win a trip for
two to Helsinki courtesy of Finnair

of

North Vancouver and the many
business organizations on the

North Shore.

Summer Season Sponsors:

MOLSON (M4)

Shalt we picnic)

on a bright
summer's

or other fabulous prizes.

For more information, call

876-3434.

“The mosttunyoucanhav
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