Friday, September 9, 1994 — North Shore News - 7 __, LR LE The benefits of bringing it all back home UNDER THE general head- ing, “Does The Way I Live Make Sense?” one of the questions I often ask myself is: Why do [ live so far away from my family? I mean family in its most extended sense — grandparents, aunts, uncles, great uncles and cousins who can enrich your life and your children’s, and make you feel a little less alone in a some- times scary world. I’m feeling the absence of fami- ly more keenly now because I’ ve just returned from spending almost a month in Ontario with my two sons. While I’ve no desire to meve back to Ontario (or more precisely Toronto, though I'm thoroughly bored with T.O.-bashers), it felt decidedly unnatural to be rushing away from my parents towards a departure lounge with two preschoolers who were just nicely reconnected with them. So many people are now living far from theie famities. And frankly, some are thrilled to have two or more time zones between themselves and their kinfolk — we've come to accept it as normal, chalking it up to the necessity of getting ahead in careers and accepting promotions. Lately, I've come to believe that living awsy from family is anything but nor- mal, especially for young childven. No matter how much you work to surround your children with close adult friends who will take an interest in them, nothing can - replace.the affection and attention of two crazy-in-love grandparents. Only a thoroughly corny, loving grandfather would encourage a tod- dler so pinch his Durante-esque nose and then jaunch into a rasal rendition of The Teddybear's Picnic, to the toddler's unbridled delight. When you watch your children with your parents, you realize it's often the subtle, intangible small things that make that relationship sO precious. Because they're from a different era, grandparents think differently, Catherine Atyeo JUST ADD WATER tell differ. ut jokes, know different things. When I was a young girl grow- ing up in Quebec, I received cards and letters from ny paternal grand- mother who lived in Belleville, Ontario. She always ended her letters with, “Oceans of love, Nannie.” Even at the age of 10, | was mes- merized by the image of oceans of love, that my grandmother could love me so enormously. Lalso realize now what an essential historical and emotiona! thread families give to people. No matter how many drunks or illegitimave kids there are in the family tree (and everybody's fami- jy has their share), there’s some- thing basic and completing about learning soracthing about your ancestors, about being in the place where they lived out their lives. When I was in Ontario, a cousin was married in a smal! country church in the county where my maternal great-grandparents were bem. Beside the church is ths one- room schoolhouse my mother attended when she was a girl. After the wedding ceremony, most of my mother's side of tne family repaired to a spruced-up machine shed on my uncle’s dairy farm for a wing-ding of a wedding recep- tion. It had been a long time since { felt such a strong sense of belong- ing. Whatever the arguments and tensions of the past, | realized these people really care about each other. When you're far away, you can start missing the family members you found bizarre and embarrass- ing when you were growing up. I've always been a little over- whelmed about my larger-than-life brother, who was born to sell, and I swear could talk a mugger out of taking his wallet. As we were sitting around the living room in the cottage late one night, he told my sister and I] about meeting Muhammad Ali in the massage room of an American hotel earlier that year. After his paralytic shock left him, he strode up to Ali and slapped him on the back saying: “How’s it going, champ? You're still the greatest.” Later, my sister and I concluded that only my brother would have hau the nerve to pull that off and get an autograph, too, We also came to a tacit agreement that my brother was a major family asset. The comforting thing about family members (though I admit it can be irritating at times) is that they never seem to change. Twenty years after my regular visits to her Toronto apartment, my Aunt Jean is still talking about the same things — noisy tenants and the city’s cockroach problem. My Uncle Ralph is still savoring his pre-dinner whisky and prepar- ing the Mennonite chicken dish that has been passed down through my father’s family. And Auntie Marg is still mak- ing those gooey squares that only seem to put weight on our nuclear family and not her clan. As the plane ride from hell ended in Vancouver (about the only thing my two sons didn’t do was throw their pasta at the video screen), | asked myself if the effort of taking them “back home” was worth it. When I think about all the quirks, laughs, walks, talks and love, there’s 10 doubt in my mind. ADOPTION vs ABORTION adoptions © Total demestic adoptions (private or public) in Canada @ Total abortions performed on Canadian women For more information on bio-medical anc. issues like abortion and euthanasia call the Resource Centre at Sources: * Abortion statistics as reported to Statistics Canada «1970-76 H, Philip Hepworth, Foster Care and Adoptions in Canada * © 1977-80 Estimate based on previous years # 1981-91 Adoption study, Univ, of Guelph ‘984-9094 (Sponsored by North Shore Pro Life Society) fl Investment Strategies That Really Work ; Complimentary Seminar Tuesday, September 13 featuring ; Canada's most st published fi financial authority syndicated a & broadcaster, and International Investment Planner. §& Bring your car home for a free 57 point check up. From the folks who know it best. Your lower Mainland Volkswagen “an dealer will look at everything from your wheel bearings and “ i) master cylinder through to your Kel system and brakes. Say This free clinic is on from Tuesday, September 20th through WELCOME Thursday, September 22nd. Call to book your appointment. HOME fa Topics Me Why retirees have different financial needs. We Reducing income taxes Be How to double your net worth in m five years B ¢ Safely investing 100% of your = RRSP internationally Mi» Does Canada's debt crisis concern _ =6you? Special Guest Speaker Global Strategy Rothchilds Hosted by Jim Perkins FORTUNE FINAN CTH 08187 05397 Valley Autohaus Hessler Motors 32835 So, Froser Highway 2092 [52nd Street Isford White Rock a 853-1181 Ph: 536-7212 08101 05723 Goss & Norman Beck Motor Co, 20027 frase Highwoy 44615 Yole Road Sa Ph: by Ph: 1955771 08076 Westminster Volkswagen 2555 Barnet Highway Coquitlam Ph: 4515000 05677 Wetmore Motors 2203 Marine Drive West Vancouver Ph: 922-0168 07902 Guildford Motors 13820 1th Avenue Ph: an 05121 Garkdale Factors 4575 Main Street Voncouvet Phi: 872-543] 06704 Cowell Motors REGISTRATION INFORMATION Tuesday, September 13, 1994 Vancouver Trade and Convention Centre « Presentation 7:00 pm ff Coes Vlowone Admission is complimentary but seating is limited BE SH ma Nanh Yenccwor FOR RESERVATIONS 681-1300 ‘Door Prizes : °