46 - Sunday, November 26 , 1989 - North Shore News ——_ +. LIFESTYLES Sitting for children’s photo irks 22-year-old DEAR MISS MANNERS — I am 22 years old and the oldest of five children; the others are 19, 17, 12 and 4. I graduated from college last May and was commissioned as a second lieutenant in the air force in June. — have been living at home for the past six months, working while waiting for my military assignment. Yesterday my mother came to me and said she wanted to take a picture of ‘‘the children’’ to send out on Christmas cards. } tried nicely to tell her that I would be humiliated to have Christmas cards sent with my picture on them. i said I would be much more com- fortable sending a family picture, if we had to send a picture. She could not understand my embar- rassment about sending a children’s picture. Would you please advise whick is more appropriate to send? GENTLE READER — Secretly, Miss Manners has misgivings about look-how-they’ve-grown cards, if circulation were limited to people why» know the children, especially to those who don’: often see them and would value an an- nual picture, these would be fine. But the unknown broods of mere acquaintances, often in obviously reluctant poses, do not generally bring as much delight as the senders imagine. In your case, however, we are dealing with the feelings of the sender — your mother. So Miss Manners entreats you to be a sport while you’re still at home during the picture-taking session. You can’t really tell your mother to stop, or to endorse an age cutoff among her progeny. Your idea about a full family picture is an excellent one, and Miss Manners is sorry that it didn’t seem to go over. She has another suggestion. In WHITE twin $ 2 2 5 queen miss manners Judith Martin the group portrait, take the 4- year-old on your lap. Rather than wondering what you are doing in a children’s picture at your age, people will murmur, ‘‘I didn’t re- alize Lee was already old enough to have a child,”” DEAR MISS MANNERS — I’ve found a way that works to avoid giving out my telephone nuraber. A few years ago, I wanted an unlisted nuxder, but did not want to pay the addicdonal fee, so I put the account in the name of my bird, Ferd Nurd. That name was listed in the phone book, and lea to very amus- ing phowe calis, usually around 11:30 on a Saturday night, from strangers, with loud music in ihe background. They always wanted to talk to Ferd. Also, Ferd received a credit card from the phowe com- pany. ¥ hung it on his cage. GENTLE READER — Miss Manners is always happy to hear of methods to achieve privacy from that intrusive instrument, the telephone. She congratulates you and commiserates with your bird on its rowdy friends. DEAR BiiSS MANNERS ~— My husband and I have discovered a restaurant that has live piano music during Sunday brunch. Since F would like to encourage the pianists, I have applauded whenever they played something I particularsy liked. I have noticed that only a few other peopic ap- plaud, and usiuuily only after I do. Am I committing 0 breach of eti- quette? Should I confine my en- couragemen: to a few remarks when I am !caving the restaurant? GENTLE READER — Could you open those confines to include a small contribution as well? Tipp- ing is one of the differences be- tween the etiquette of music ap- preciation at a restaurant and that appropriate to a concert. By applauding, you encourage concert manners, and suggest to sensitive fellow diners that they re- ally shouldn’t be talking, during brunch (which is one of the things they came there to do). 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