The ‘best and worst’
of D. Collins’ columns

IN A two-part tribute to Doug Collins’ five-year career as a product of a program in which
thrice-weekly columnist with the North Shore News, the ative Indians and other visible
following excerpts from his controversial Get This Straight !2OmUss are recruited so as to

column highlight some of the issues he wrote about that
could be ‘counted upon to raise community awareness — if
not blood pressure.

‘

Bunches

Doug was a great fan of
womankind — as long as they
didn’t try to change the rales on

Oniy a week ago...a professor
was benned from the swimming
pool at the University of Toronto
for five years for girl-watching.
The local human rights cops didn’t
call it girl-watching, of course.
They called it leering.

(Stories like this give a chap a
guilty conscience. I’ve been leering
ever since I was 10 years of age. I
may even have started when I was
five.)

To believe the garbage put out
by the furies of feminism, you

have to believe that: most Canadian .

maies are priapic monsters, roam-
ing the streets looking for lust
outlets. It’s the same with the pro-
paganda fad known as ‘‘sexual
harassment.’* There may indeed be
a few bum-pinchers an¢ p2tters on
the loose (the MP for Quadra
seems to be one) but I have never
seen a bum pinched. What’s the
point in pinching a bum? In truth,
bum-pinching is no more common
than saying ‘bah!’, which I have
only heard in books. And if the id-
fosyncresy really exists, there’s an
ancient cure for‘it: the good old
clout in the kisser. .

"Field Marshall Mary Collins and
the radical fem movement are

dollyheads, and as such worthy of |

study by shrinks. The latest proof
is Collins’ lackwitted support of
putting women in the infantry.
One is tempted to have fun with
the idea. Someone should write a
comic-opera on how the Canadian
Girls’ Brigade stormed the beaches

urges you to sign an
organ donor card.

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in Normandy, meeting the SS
Death’s Head Division head-on
and persuading them to lay down
their arms and have a roll in the
hay.
. None of this is to say that
women can’t pull a trigger as well
as men. Or that they have less
courage. Or are less inclined to ac-
cept discipline...

It is to say, though, that a bat-
tlefield is no place for girls. Would
they be able to struggie through
the mud of a Battle of the Somme?
Would they be able to “‘yomp”’ 30
miles in a day over the hills of the
Falklands as the British infantry
did, with 60-lb. packs and
weapons?

2x

The ftipside of muiti-celturalism
was something Doug felt had to be
exposed.

More questions: what’s wrong
with St. George’sSchool wanting
an ethnic mix that reflects the
community, and would Dixon be
yelling if the school preferred
non-whites to whites? I don’t think
so, any more than he complains
about affirmative action programs
that discriminate against whites in

; the job market.

There is a strong rumor cir-
culating in the RCMP that a new
recruiting poster is being planned,

- ala multicult. I will not'show, the

Sergeant Preston-style horseman,
but a chap from the Punjab, com-
plete with turban...

Would you believe, for instance,
that a stone-deaf native Indian
with the equivalent of a Grade 3
education could get into the
RCMP?,

How did he get in? He was the

satisfy Ottawa. Qualifications are
a secondary consideration.
anak

Collins exposed some of the
disparities in the nation’s push for
bilingualism long before our love
affair with the idea soured.

Bilingualism is the Coquihalla
Highway of federal politics. Ex-
cept that the cost of bilingualism
cannot be counted and it is a
highway without an end.

Mountains of extra money are to
be poured into this social disaster
to satisfy Brian Baloney’s insane
desire to extend the French lan-
guage grip on this country.

Sometimes I feel sorry for peo-
ple who are sending their kids to
French immersion schools...those
who think the students will get
federal jobs by learning French are
deluding themselves.

‘rhe way things are going, you're
going to have to be French to get
on the federal payroll, not just
able to speak French. Learning the
language won't even get you a job
as a bully-boy postman if a Fren-
ch-wallah wants it.

What is going on is as fine a bit
of racism as you'll find anywhere.

See Doug
Page 8

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