46 - Sunday, March 31, 1985 - North Shore News A lesson in Friendship ere are two sad stories, with a social moral from Miss Manners. Sad story one Eloise and ‘‘Mac” Druf- fin, a popular couple with a knack for fitting in anywhere, were delighted with their new assignment. Not only was it a significant promotion for him, but everyone in the new town seemed so eager to welcome them. As president of the com- pany, he naturally had a great many social obliga- tions, but Eloise was a great planner with a flair for both large parties and smal! din- ners. And, of course, they were entertained constantly by people in equivalent posi- tions. Although they both put in a good day’s work, they were still fresh practically every night for the cocktail parties, dinners, usually in restaurants or clubs, and oc- casional company trips, which gave them.a_ rich social life. The company paid all the bills, but Mac had enough polish to get his business exchanges done quietly, and to keep the talk pleasantly general. Mainly, anyway, the value was for the ‘‘contacts."’ “Everybody's so friendly here,” Mrs. Druffin was fond of exclaiming. ‘‘Why, they hardly let us have a night to ourselves.”’ That was one reason, after the shock of Mr. Druffin’s being forced out of his job, that’ the couple decided to stay in their beautiful new house. The ‘‘retirement’’ had been done gracefully sa there were no financial. pro- blems. But there was another shock in store. The invita- tions dropped off suddenly, and have now almost ceased. **People are so fickle here,"’ says Mrs. Druffin bitterly. “They only cared about us by Judith Martin for the job, not for ourselves.” Sad story two: For 43 years, Anna Quig- gle had toiled faithfully in the same office, gaining . Tespect, if not promotions. During that time, she had also served as couselor, tear wiper, professional adviser. and romantic confidante to generations of younger peo- ple who had come and gone. Occasionally, she still gets a post card or marriage or birth announcement from one, and tries to put that together with one of those bygone office faces. Her husband and children knew these people as charac- ters in the anecdotes, some- times funny, sometimes not, that she told at the dinner table. But her husband has been dead for some time now, and her grown children are living in other cities, so even the names of those who attended Mrs. Quiggle’s retirement party would not have been known to them. It was one of the comap- ny’s better parties, with flowers and presents for the guest of honor, and both funny and sentimental speeches, even though her boss, who had only been there a year, got a few of the stories, which he had asked his secretary to collect fom old-timers, somewhat wrong. There were multiple prom- ises about getting together for Junch, but after one trip to the office, when everyone greeted her heartily but it happened to be a busy day and they were eagerly discussing new projects she didn’t know about, she gave up asking. No one has asked her, either, although several noted on Christmas cards that they planned to in the indefinite future. All those years (she writes to her children) and she has been dropped by her friends as if she had died. Miss Manners docs not dispute that these stories are sad, although she knows that her gentle readers are finding . the lower income story more sympathetic than the upper. Nevertheless, the moral she has to deliver is the same for both, and it is a harsh one. The reason these people do not have friends later in life is that they never did have friends. What they had, however graciously they treated them, were col- leagues, and colleagues do not remain with one upon leaving a job, unless one has taken the trouble to make friends out of them. Friends are people you in- vite to your house, on your own time (and at your own expense) for the pleasiire of enjoying their company. They are people with whom you share deeper interests than the gossip of the workplace, and in whose Call any other weight-loss program tx the : Yellow Pages. Then call as at the Diet B Center. We will explain the program and . f coat information over the phone adthout | Everyone who works with Diet Center has lives you have an emotional stake, as they do in yours. You do not get any pro- fessional advantage out of them, nor do you confine your bond to sharing a par- ticular 2xperience — having children at the same time, for instance, or divorces — and seck other friends when you have passed to another stage. 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B.C. robert bryan hale Design morse syeg to men8 women who wo ooyer The North Shore Association for the Mentally Handicapped NEEDS CANVASSERS THIS YEAR watunal foods and geet tonife instead of sows AY THE LOS. During the next 6 weeks, phone clerks will be asking you to help us knock on doors in your neighbourhood. The fund drive is during the week of May 26 to June 2. Come an enjoy the sunshine and help make this our best fund drive ever. This is a North Shore effort for North Shore people. Invest Your Time Wisely, Help the Mentally Handicapped Please call: 984-9321 North Vancouver 136 E. 14th 980-4568 West Vancouver 104 585 16th 922-2021 Franchise areas available